Not sure what my EXs intentions are?

To make it short me and my girlfriend had split up over a year ago, we was with each other for around about two years. We’re both 19 by the way so we were still young when we broke up.

Ever since we did break up because things weren’t working and there was solely no trust anymore which made the relationship turn toxic. However I still kept in contact with her even when she met new guys as I wanted the best for her still. However we’d still meet for casual sex and whenever we were together it felt like we had never been split up.

I didn’t see my ex girlfriend for four months up until the Christmas period as she had moved to university. Over the Christmas period I’d seen her in clubs etc and we both came back to my place again and over the Christmas period and up until last week we had been seeing a lot of each other as she has been back from university. We’ve talked everyday since that first encounter again.

I’m not sure I still love my ex because for me, I don’t really want a girlfriend at this current time and if I did I feel like I’d want something new to try. I really don’t understand her current emotions and intentions though. I’m never the one to message but now she’s back at university she messages me every day and sends me pictures and stuff of past memories. I still feel like she’s trying to hold onto something and I I’m not sure if speaking to her is healthy as I’ve told her we shouldn’t read anything into us having previous sex and even us talking now as we label it as a “friendship”

I know she speaks to guys at university and probably hooks up with them. She’s recently been bringing up the boyfriend topic to me and saying how many people are in relationships at her school but I think she’s maybe lonely at this time of year and wants to try and fulfill the space with me for instance as she thinks I’m a second choice and an easy leg to fall back on.

I keep drawing myself back from speaking to her but then I end up just returning the messages and we end up speaking again. The thing is, we’re only really good terms at the minute but it’s confusing me whether it’s just a friendship or if she wants something more again?

I told her I’m going to ring her tomorrow and talk about a few things but is there any advice or questions you guys can give me which I can ask her because it’s extremely difficult to try and dissect this situation because although I don’t want to read into it I feel like it’s sometning, then again I don’t want to be to approachable about it and get my feelings her if she sees it as nothing.

Any advice would be extremely appreciated. Thankyou.

To make it short me and my girlfriend had split up over a year ago, we was with each other for around about two years. We’re both 19 by the way so we were still young when we broke up.

 

Ever since we did break up because things weren’t working and there was solely no trust anymore which made the relationship turn toxic. However I still kept in contact with her even when she met new guys as I wanted the best for her still. However we’d still meet for casual sex and whenever we were together it felt like we had never been split up.

 

I didn’t see my ex girlfriend for four months up until the Christmas period as she had moved to university. Over the Christmas period I’d seen her in clubs etc and we both came back to my place again and over the Christmas period and up until last week we had been seeing a lot of each other as she has been back from university. We’ve talked everyday since that first encounter again.

 

 

I’m not sure I still love my ex because for me, I don’t really want a girlfriend at this current time and if I did I feel like I’d want something new to try. I really don’t understand her current emotions and intentions though. I’m never the one to message but now she’s back at university she messages me every day and sends me pictures and stuff of past memories. I still feel like she’s trying to hold onto something and I I’m not sure if speaking to her is healthy as I’ve told her we shouldn’t read anything into us having previous sex and even us talking now as we label it as a “friendship”

 

I know she speaks to guys at university and probably hooks up with them. She’s recently been bringing up the boyfriend topic to me and saying how many people are in relationships at her school but I think she’s maybe lonely at this time of year and wants to try and fulfill the space with me for instance as she thinks I’m a second choice and an easy leg to fall back on.

 

I keep drawing myself back from speaking to her but then I end up just returning the messages and we end up speaking again. The thing is, we’re only really good terms at the minute but it’s confusing me whether it’s just a friendship or if she wants something more again?

 

I told her I’m going to ring her tomorrow and talk about a few things but is there any advice or questions you guys can give me which I can ask her because it’s extremely difficult to try and dissect this situation because although I don’t want to read into it I feel like it’s sometning, then again I don’t want to be to approachable about it and get my feelings her if she sees it as nothing.

 

Any advice would be extremely appreciated. Thankyou.

My first question is, who initially broke things off? Second question is, if you do not want to be in a relationship with her in particular and want to try somone new then why are you worried about getting your feelings hurt if she sees it as nothing? The questions that you need to ask are 1. You need to ask yourself and her what you both really want because casually having sex can bring back old feelings and confuse the situation at hand and you don’t want to be on different pages. 2.Ask her if she is seeing other guys and be sure that you are not also getting your hopes up if you end up wanting something at the end. Whatever you do, do not leave things vague to leave room for assumptions if you want to keep her as a friend as you previously stated. Be honest with yourself and her

My first question is, who initially broke things off? Second question is, if you do not want to be in a relationship with her in particular and want to try somone new then why are you worried about getting your feelings hurt if she sees it as nothing? The questions that you need to ask are 1. You need to ask yourself and her what you both really want because casually having sex can bring back old feelings and confuse the situation at hand and you don’t want to be on different pages. 2.Ask her if she is seeing other guys and be sure that you are not also getting your hopes up if you end up wanting something at the end. Whatever you do, do not leave things vague to leave room for assumptions if you want to keep her as a friend as you previously stated. Be honest with yourself and her

Hi thanks for the reply. We both wanted to end things because it wasn’t working but she initiated the breakup. When I mean I don’t want w girlfriend I’m more scared of going back into a relationship with it’s being her specifically because I’m not sure if it would be the same etc. If she also sees it as nothing I don’t want to come across like it’s a massive deal because I had already said I wasn’t reading into it, but I have and it’s confused me.

Hi thanks for the reply. We both wanted to end things because it wasn’t working but she initiated the breakup. When I mean I don’t want w girlfriend I’m more scared of going back into a relationship with it’s being her specifically because I’m not sure if it would be the same etc. If she also sees it as nothing I don’t want to come across like it’s a massive deal because I had already said I wasn’t reading into it, but I have and it’s confused me.

If you do not want to get back together with her then I think you should stop having casual sex and just stay friends. Try dating other girls to see if you can find real connection with someone else.

But if you are confused and there is at 70% chance that you want to try again then put your feelings aside and have a genuine conversation with her about what her expectations are and if she is seeing other guys. Like I said in my previous post, do not leave anything vague with her to avoid leave room for assumptions.

The sooner you both discuss where you stand, the better for you. Do not prolong this any longer if you do not want to end up hurt in the future if you still want to maintain some sort of friendship with her. Feelings can be very tricky sometimes & having hope for something that might not happen can be deadly. Good luck!

It may seem like a great idea to be fwb after a breakup, but it's not working. You think nsa is fine but are confused about the 'friends' part and worry about not wanting to reconcile. She also is dating others and seems to have you in this fwb-friendzone limbo. Why not pull back from this before it gets too messy?

It may seem like a great idea to be fwb after a breakup, but it's not working. You think nsa is fine but are confused about the 'friends' part and worry about not wanting to reconcile. She also is dating others and seems to have you in this fwb-friendzone limbo. Why not pull back from this before it gets too messy?

Thanks for the reply. I end up ignoring her messages that she sends but then hours later she’ll message me again seeing what I’m doing etc. I was the one to tell her not to see it anything other than a one off but with us speaking for days consecutively it just doesn’t seem right with us labelling it as just being friends. She said she’s going to call me today anyway so I’ll speak to her about. I just feel weird asking her if it’s anything more than friends if I told her previously that that’s all it was. But things have gotten more deeper the past few weeks.