Mums - I Need Your Advice! How Did You Handle Two Babies/Toddlers?

[mylolita]

Hi forum of eNotAlone!

It is very early days for me, but I have found out I'm probably a good couple of weeks pregnant.

I already have a little boy who turned 1 a few days ago. If this pregnancy goes well and we are lucky to have the baby, it means there will only be about an 18 month age gap between them.

This is everything I wanted, I did used to want an even smaller age gap but, I am feeling extremely blessed but a bit terrified at the same time! And everyone said you are more relaxed with your second?! Not up to now! Mums and Dads - how do you cope with 2 under 2?!

Any advice absolutely welcomed with open arms.

Lo x

[melancholy123]

My daughter's 2 girls are 20 months apart and she runs her own small business, not at home but in her town. So yeah, she was busy and still is and the girls are 3 and 4. It was hard, she had to find babysitters and daycare and some of the sitters were awful so she needed to find others. She honestly was very worn out and tired. With the help of family and others she survived. Make sure you have good babysitters lined up and family support.

[Batya33]

Best wishes on a continued healthy pregnancy! I have one and my sister had 4 mostly close in age. I would start lining up mother's helpers (teenagers who can come over and help while you are also home) and also make decisions now about your priorities about house cleaning for example - meaning are you ok with lowering your standards, if not, what kind of help can you get to keep your house clean (and other non-child related things like food prep for yourself and husband, etc).

I also recommend the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen... and Janet Lansbury podcasts and articles (I realize they will be under 2 but I think you'll find some really good tips . Also if you have time watch Super Nanny past shows (yes I know it's a show and I think she and her insight are phenomenal).

Good luck!

[dias]

Well, I can't give you advices but congrats :))

[~Seraphim ~]

Congrats . 👶

[abitbroken]

My sister is in this boat. The 18 month old loves being a big brother and is a good little "helper".

[j.man]

My oldest baby sister had three under 3 until my oldest niece just turned last month. Don't think there was more than a month-long gap between each pregnancy. I thought she was certified crazy, but she owned and loved the inevitable chaos. No advice I can personally offer other than the attitude that worked for her. I did buy her a couple of scientifically-based books on children's developmental psychology to help ground expectations of behaviors and cognitive limitations as they vary particularly wildly each year from infancy to adolescence, and she's at least claimed (granted, could be her being nice) it's helped tailor her thresholds and approaches to each of them.

The girls definitely have their quirks but are pretty amazingly well-mannered. My sister's got skin that's a good 10 inches thick, but she is human. She is fortunate to have incredibly supportive in-laws (they're located near her husband's family), so I'm sure they deserve a chunk of the credit. But I'm sure you'll do great. Best of luck and congratulations.

ETA: She's due for a fourth in May. So it'll be four under 4. I take back the "thought" she was certified crazy. She definitely is. Honestly, if you want me to ask her for any advice to relay, I'd be more than happy to.

[itsallgrand]

Congrats.
May I ask, what are you scared of? Real question, what are your fears, as maybe it will help to talk about it.

As you know, I'm not a mom. I do have tonnes of experience caring for children though, since I was young. It's not difficult , it's just takes being present . And you took to motherhood like a duck to water.

You've got this.

[~Seraphim ~]

You will love your second child just as much . Love is not finite . And every child is different and you will adore different things about them .

[mylolita]

Hi melancholy,

This is good and thoughtful advice but luckily I am in a position to not be working and will be at home all the time with both - I understand this still will be difficult keeping a house and cooking at the same time, I have a feeling I might be in for it!

How is your daughter feeling now? And how fantastic that she has her own business!

Lo x