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Thread: I don't know what to do, need help!

  1. #11
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    Why haven't you gotten a divorce? Terrible thing to do to your family! So selfish!

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Can I just ask, and I am being sincere here.

    If you were unhappy with your wife to the degree that another woman looked good or interesting to you, why not go home, tell your wife you're unhappy and want a divorce...THEN go out there as a single man to pursue someone else.

    Why do it like you did and run after someone, knowing you still had a wife at home?
    Lack of character, selfish and a cheat!

  3. #13
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    So what do I do? Sit & wait to see if she comes back? Give it a week? Or just walk away & let her find happiness elsewhere? I'm broken, I can't even eat or sleep.
    ^
    None of the above. Rather than put the cart before the horse, address your marriage and make a choice. How much longer are you planning to continue this charade of living the single life, while at the same time ignoring the fact that your wife exists?

    Keep in mind, we reap what we sow.

  4. #14
    Thank you for the replies. You're right, I need to tell my wife and move on from both.

  5.  

  6. #15
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    You need to end your marriage, first and foremost. It's clearly over.

    Your affair partner is likely done for good. The dynamic has changed too much and both of you know that the other is not trustworthy. For all you know, she might have met someone else and is pursuing that anyway.

    Do not contact her anymore, unless you want to piss her off the point that she decides to blow up your marriage for you and reveal everything to your wife. Don't assume that won't happen. Your wife needs to hear from you about your infidelity.

  7. #16
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    If you don't want to be with your wife, end it. It doesnt matter whether the other woman loves you or not. You have no right to string your poor wife along.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Your wife deserves to know the kind of man she's married to and living with so she can decides on what she wants to do. Also your wife should do an std check up. If you have some sort of decency left in you, instead of cryptic "I'm not happy anymore", you'll divorce her and let her find a man who truly loves her and doesn't cheat on her, instead of stringing her along just because you don't want to be alone.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Well, you made the bed. Time to rest in it.

    You made a lot of lousy choices, as you know. You had an affair—not cool. You then basically accused your wife of behaving exactly the way you were behaving—the jealousy, the accusations, which is pretty classic cheater stuff, flinging your guilt on another to feel better, less dirty. That's really not cool.

    No judgement—it's your life. People make mistakes. You've made a lot.

    You're done with your marriage, have been for some time. Seems your wife is done too. Can't blame her. So, yeah, own that.

    And the affair is over too. You want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. Own that too.

    If you have any desire to see if there's another chapter with your wife, you need to come clean. You can't stand her near you, right now, because she reflects your guilt, lousy choices, and lost affair back at you. Just by being her.

    But don't hurt her with the knowledge just to feel a little better. Tell her only if you genuinely want to repair things, which it doesn't sound like you do.
    I understood he was jealous of the mistress and accusing her, but maybe I understood wrong.

  10. #19
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    You sensed your wife was not happy either...well, her husband was giving his best to another woman and therefore he was neglecting her. I don't think the problem is that your marriage was lacking so you strayed. I think it is a severe lack of character and self control. Your wife deserves way better than you -- so confess and then go to personal counseling.

  11. #20
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    Just get a divorce already. If you're unhappy or want other women, please for the love of God divorce before doing something like this.

    Think of your wife for once?

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