How do I tell my boyfriend I’m not a Christian anymore?

The boyfriend I am referring to is not the same one from my old posts. We have been together nearly 5 years. Both of us were raised in Christianity and have known it all our lives. He isn’t the most strict when it comes to religion but he still considers himself a Christian. I’ve always had issues with the religion but didn’t have the confidence to speak up about it, and I was pretty sheltered as a child/teen so I didn’t get much exposure to different viewpoints. Now that I’m an adult I feel more solid in my opinions and I just don’t want anything to do with Christianity anymore. I have no problem with other people wanting to follow a religion, that includes my boyfriend.

I know I should probably mention it to him, but I’m terrified he’s going to end up having a serious problem with it and break up with me.

How do I tell him I’m not interested in being a Christian anymore?

At some point, you need to be honest and tell him.

You made your decision on what's important to you and he should have the freedom to do the same.

If Christianity is important enough to him that he is willing to break up over it, then it's his decision to do so.

You need to tell him what you told us. Better sooner, than later.

Simply tell him this:

I just don’t want anything to do with Christianity anymore. I have no problem with other people wanting to follow a religion, that includes my boyfriend.

Is the way he practises his faith a problem to you? For example, do you find yourself missing out on things you need to do because he insists on you attending church on a Sunday? Many people would describe themselves as Christian, who haven't actually attended a religious service for years.

As to how to discuss it with him... what I would do is raise the issue next time he wants you to do something, and tell him that in all conscience you cannot do this; that for various reasons you have lost your faith and honesty compels you to share this with him.

Alternatively, if he doesn't actually do anything about his religion, then do you need to discuss it with him at all?

Thanks for the responses. I'm going to mention it to him when I see him in person next. Before he moved for his job, he used to do some work at the church he grew up in, but, clearly, doesn't anymore. I'm just not sure if that makes him less serious about religion. I will have to discuss it with him.

I think the issue will arise mostly if we get married and have children, because I do not want to force my children to learn Christianity (the way both of us were raised), I'd want to remain neutral and let them decide for themselves. And if he has a problem with that that obviously will put a strain on our relationship.

His mother and twin brother are also pretty devout Christians (much more than he is, at least it seems) so I'm not sure if this will ruin my relationships I have with his family, too.

I understand your concern, but honestly wouldn't you want to know now where you both stand rather than invest anymore time into this if it doesn't have a future?

You've given this 5 years of your life you will never get back.

He deserves to know and you should want to.

How do I tell him I’m not interested in being a Christian anymore?

Does it have to be a flat-out announcement? Could you just have a series of discussions about religion with him to feel the situation out?

You've been dating 5 years. Is there any talk of a future such as marriage and children? Do you live together? It sounds like you are too focused on this and thinking too far ahead. You aren't even engaged, so a conversation about how you intend to raise your kids based on your current beliefs makes no sense.

The real problem is the relationship isn't going anywhere. Your current beliefs or rejection of whatever beliefs or how you plan to raise your kids because of your current rejection of your religious upbringing all has nothing to do with that. If he were more committed to you it wouldn't matter.

I'm going to mention it to him when I see him in person next. I will have to discuss it with him. if we get married and have children.