CRIPPLING paranoia about my reputation...

I live with 7 other students (we are all Postgrads) and for the last 4 months, there are 4/7 of us who have become VERY close. Theres two of us girls and two guys; I became SUPER close with one of the other girls to the point where we'd message each other everyday every few hours with memes, songs etc...I suppose we are like best friends...however... This past fortnight, some dynamics changed. Lots. She's had INTENSE exams as she studies dentistry and she can't afford to fail as she got a scholarship. One day this week I saw her crying and learned she had failed a big part of coursework and did bad on one of the exams and so I comforted her and told her if there was anything I could do I would. However, a few weeks ago I got asked out by a guy I've liked for MONTHS and, as I'm single..I went out with him. This was literally not long before the exams started and he and I began seeing each other. I invited him over a few dates later and he arrived back at my place where all my housemates were together and winking at me like "ahhh ok ! who's this then??" etc... and due to the fact that we were chatting/playing music a..generally just getting along, I asked him to stay over. (I had NO intentions about sex as I told him Id sleep on the couch, I take things very slow when it comes to sex).

The next morning my housemate(the close one) sends me a message saying "haha hope you had fun. Just be careful yeah? our other housemate told me she knows about that guy you're seeing and how he's got a bit of a name as a player" .. I didn't think too much of it at first as we have literally only had a few dates and Im not in any way attached but...seeing as I began to feel talked about, I started to cut him off as it sounded like bad news.

The days went on and she became silent. No messages. No responses. Alarm bells going all over the place... she told me its cos she's neck deep in studies but I have caught her with my other housemates and she seemed different with them... this went on for days and yesterday with my other friends I broke down. Eventually around dinner time she messages me saying "Hey I know we were supposed to hang out tonight but how about next week? Im gonna try get more work done. Then we can party hard."

Am I going insane? or have I caused an issue here? I have only just stopped crying but Im confused as all night she has been messaging me sweet things like "let me know what you're wearing tonight!" and "hey check out this thing I saw" ... no matter what I do I can't stop thinking of what everyone is saying about me since I brought the guy round....

You are totally over-thinking this. I can't really even work out exactly what you feel you did that was so wrong.

So what if the dude is a bit of player? They were trying to look out for you; that's it. I don't mean to sound unkind, but I can almost guarantee they aren't thinking about you half as much as you think they are.

Have you struggled with anxiety in the past?

They haven't said anything out of the ordinary or anything that should have you so bent out of shape about that I can see. Your female friend is failing her subjects and needs to be more into her books then she is in chatting and small talk. Try not to sweat it and don't let other people's kidding you make you ghost someone you don't want to get rid of.

Where are your other friends other than this one girl? Why not contact one of them (or that guy) and get out and have a good time without any of the peeps you live with?

You're both probably right - and I have been hanging out with my other set of friends pretty much every day which has helped thoroughly but its another monster of paranoia cos I'm scared I'm betraying her. I invited her to every event this week which she politely declined and yep, I know she's crazy busy with studies but we are used to speaking so intensely..I suppose I sound clingy which is weird as when Im away from university Im happy in my own company and perhaps thats why I feel so anxious. We all did personality tests during a stats class and I was the only one who got 50% introvert and 50% extrovert. I have got anxiety but only to do with my health..

I honestly fail to see what you are/were so upset about. Nothing happened with anybody from what you said. Crying over bread? I'm confused. Nobody is upset with you but you. You need to get a grip on your emotions!

You're both probably right - and I have been hanging out with my other set of friends pretty much every day which has helped thoroughly but its another monster of paranoia cos I'm scared I'm betraying her. I invited her to every event this week which she politely declined and yep, I know she's crazy busy with studies but we are used to speaking so intensely..I suppose I sound clingy which is weird as when Im away from university Im happy in my own company and perhaps thats why I feel so anxious. We all did personality tests during a stats class and I was the only one who got 50% introvert and 50% extrovert. I have got anxiety but only to do with my health..

Betraying her how? I genuinely have no clue.

Based on these posts, I strongly suspect your anxiety is not limited only to health-related matters. I cannot connect the dots between the events you described and the extreme reaction you are experiencing.

Over thinking. You need to chill out!

I honestly fail to see what you are/were so upset about. Nothing happened with anybody from what you said. Crying over bread? I'm confused. Nobody is upset with you but you. You need to get a grip on your emotions!

I agree....... See a school counselor.

You're upset about a joke about toast? If that is setting you off perhaps it may be time to see a counselor. Also don't have overnight guests in an overcrowded cramped living space. It's rude to your roommates.