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Thread: Not sure what to do - do I leave it or see what happens

  1. #21
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    Got a text from him today

    Ď sorry Iv been in such strange mood recently Ď
    🤷🏼♀️

    Thought heíd been distant with me & lost interest. I knew something up.
    Perhaps dry January ( dry wallets ) as we both mentioned it other day about buying something not drinking issue lol.

    I really donít know.

    I said I hope nothing bads happened and he said no not at all. So just said I hope you sleep well & here if you need anything. And he said thanks.

    🤷🏼♀️ No idea 💡

    Maybe he is down in dumps so how. Or lost interest I donít know. But Iím not gonna be on his case all time let me kinda deal this issue on his own.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It may be best to give up on this. He keeps claiming he has all sorts of reasons not to bother dating and all sorts of reasons he's such a downer and wet blanket. Why bother with this? Also don't act like a gf, friend, therapist, etc. with statements such as "here if you need anything". Try just moving on and phase this guy out. He has little to zero interest and is wasting your time.
    Originally Posted by michkath
    Got a text from him today

    Ď sorry Iv been in such strange mood recently Ď
    🤷🏼♀️

    Maybe he is down in dumps so how. Or lost interest I donít know. But Iím not gonna be on his case all time let me kinda deal this issue on his own.

  3. #23
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    Whatever his reason, I wouldn't put yourself on hold for him.

    He doesn't sound anywhere near as interested as you.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    For decades I have worked in an industry that requires travel. As my colleagues have settled into specific paths, I find that some of us choose situations that make it hard to get deeply close to someone else. My exH was this way; now for perhaps the first time since we met, he has secured a job that will allow him to be home most of the time. He is deeply avoidant; he is running out of the energy necessary to keep running away from his home life. I am talking about someone nearing retirement: most of his life, his job kept him away from other responsibilities.

    At some level, this his choice, even as he complained about the hardship.

    Forget about what is on this guy's plate: all that matters is "Does it work for me?" It could; it might; as it is now, it doesn't, except as a meaningless distraction.

    Focus on your own path. If/when this guy raises his hand, spend time with him if you want. Or don't. My guess is, your future will turn out the same either way.

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  6. #25
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    So

    I havenít text him or anything and have been back on the dating apps like you guys have suggested and so has my cousin

    And he asked me out on a date tonight :/

    I declined the date said Ď Saddly I canít make it Ď perhaps another time

    He said oh ok no worries

    I didnít feel I wanted to go as Iv been abit upset with his Ď moods Ď

    I hope I did the right thing by being polite no texts and declined the offer

    I still really like him tho. Itís very hard 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️😂😂

    🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️

  7. #26
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    OP, you need to decide what you want:

    If you want to date him, declining his invitation was silly.

    If you've been upset about his moods, but want to continue trying, you should speak up and open the conversation.

    By all means, if you don't want to date him anymore, then of course you were right to turn down his invitation. But I have feeling you're trying to stick it to him and give him a taste of his own medicine, and hope that you can light a fire under his arse to pay more attention to you in the future. Right?

    In my experience, guys like this are more trouble than they're worth and it probably won't go anywhere. However, you would do well to say what you mean - and mean what you say.

  8. #27
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    I didnít go on that date that he asked me to
    As like people weíre saying on here to go date other people like Iím sure he is doing
    And not always be there like his little lap dog.
    I have seen him since we went on another date
    And I spoke face to face about his mood swings and I asked f everything was ok and he said I just donít know.
    And I didnít really know what to say.
    Since this his texting has been extremely blunt again.
    I just really donít know what to do about this guy.
    🤦🏻♀️🙄 we do really get on. But these Ď moods Ď bluntness are abit much. I dunno is it something Iím doing? Or does he have maybe personal issues going on.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why invite useless negativity into your life? If you are that bored, join some clubs or groups or volunteer or take classes/courses. Start a self improvement plan. Get in shape, improve your image, do self esteem boosting activities.

    If you want nonsense drama, watch netflix. If you want decent friends, do the above activities. If you want decent dates and relationships get on some dating apps and rule out mopey depressed negative downers like this dude asap.

  10. #29
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    Funny you should say that
    Iím joining some gym classes this year hope to get fit healthy and meet new people

    I canít be dealing with this depressing dude
    I donít get what Iím doing wrong I really like him we get on
    Iv asked him over text / to his face about these moods
    And his always like I dunno.
    Thereís only so much I can do / say to help someone like that.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Stop playing doctor. It's suffocating and controlling. Date peers not projects.
    Originally Posted by michkath
    Iv asked him over text / to his face about these moods
    And his always like I dunno.
    Thereís only so much I can do / say to help someone like that.

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