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Thread: Fiancé

  1. #1
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    Fiancé

    My niece decided to spill the beans to me about her & my fiancé slept together while I was in GA for training for 6 months, they’d been meeting for dinners soon after I left. They also have a history together of affair while she was married. We’ve been together 7 yes now,,, should I leave? I’m 51, he’s 53, she 45

  2. #2
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    How is it you get engaged to someone your sister formerly had an affair with while she was married?

  3. #3
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    You knew he was cheating on you back in 2017. You also knew he had a history of affairs with married women. Yet you chose to stay with him and even allowed him to move in with you after a very short time of dating.

    Back in 2017 you asked "is this as good as it gets?" and seemed to think that because of your age and health issues you had to settle.

    May I ask why, despite knowing he was a cheater, you chose to remain in the relationship?

  4. #4
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    Originally Posted by Jwin
    My niece decided to spill the beans to me about her & my fiancé slept together while I was in GA for training for 6 months, they’d been meeting for dinners soon after I left. They also have a history together of affair while she was married.

    We’ve been together 7 yes now,,, should I leave? I’m 51, he’s 53, she 45
    I am seriously wondering why this is even a question.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jwin
    should I leave?
    Yes, I think you should leave. Things are not getting better. You are not getting younger. You are not happy. You will miss out on better opportunities if you stick with him. There are better men out there. FOR SURE.

  7. #6
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    You would really stick around for this?

    When she was married, were you together? Is this round 2 of the cheating?

    You seem to very comfortable with a lot of disrespect. This guy does not care about you. Are you also supporting this creep?

    " Five years ago I moved away from my home town, divorcing my unfaithful husband of 15 years, to a very small rural town of 250 where my son lives. After dating my now boyfriend for a couple months, he moved me in with him and have been together since. He is still not committed to getting married (but not even sure that's what I want). He is now 52, has a reputation for sleeping with married women and was single for 10+ years before I met him. He has done numerous things in our relationship that have given me ample reason for leaving. A couple months or so after he purchased it, I went out of state for about 3 weeks for training. During my absence, I had a left a voice activated recorder in the kitchen, just like I did my husband. I did this because I was looking for answers, one of the reasons I left town in the first place. Two days after returning home, I listened to the recorder. I heard a phone conversation and shortly thereafter, the batteries died so don't know what else could've been on that tape. But what was recorded was where he (my boyfriend) had his phone on speaker so was able to hear both ends of conversation. He was on the phone with what everyone local believed to be "just a friend" who was a married woman, and in short were making plans to meet for a "date"


    He sounds great!

  8. #7
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    You divorced you POS husband, and now you are with this jerk. This guy sounds like your ex. Your picker is way off!

    You said you were going to leave this guy, two years back. You did not follow through on or take our advice. Here you are, again. What exactly does he have to do for you to be done?

    You have allowed this guy to play you for a fool.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 01-18-2019 at 10:04 PM.

  9. #8
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    Yep. Leave. Don't look back. Why on earth would you have dated this guy in the first place if a family member already had an affair with them??

  10. #9
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    You knew he was cheating on you back in 2017. You also knew he had a history of affairs with married women. Yet you chose to stay with him and even allowed him to move in with you after a very short time of dating.

    Back in 2017 you asked "is this as good as it gets?" and seemed to think that because of your age and health issues you had to settle.

    May I ask why, despite knowing he was a cheater, you chose to remain in the relationship
    ?
    These are my thoughts exactly. I am utterly gobsmacked ... speechless, that after your previous thread, knowing he's a cheater, asking the same question and now here are you STILL with the same d/bag and still asking the same question of "should I leave?"

    Two years ago people advised you leave. They still are advising you leave. BUT, you choose to stay. That's on you. No-one can help you if you don't help yourself.

    What I don't understand most of all is that two years ago he was a cheating boyfriend ....and now he's your cheating fiance - all this AFTER you were strongly advised to leave.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Why would you move in with a man you didn't even know? You dated him for a couple of months and then you moved in with a stranger who has turned out to be just another flavor of your husband of 15 years.

    I think you should leave him and get yourself into therapy to help you figure yourself out and why you don't take care of your emotional health and instead jump in with both feet without knowing or even considering what lurks at the bottom.

    Why would you stay with him?
    Is it because you are unable to support yourself?
    Do you feel trapped somehow?
    Can your son help you to move out and find a place of your own?
    What do you do that you need to go away for "training" so often?

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