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Thread: Fiancé

  1. #11
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    I do not understand any of this!

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. However you are comfortable living with him and "he's generous and a good provider" so you have no intention of leaving..Unfortunately he is worse than your ex husband.
    Originally Posted by Jwin
    03-24-2017:Five years ago I moved away from my home town, divorcing my unfaithful husband of 15 years, to a very small rural town of 250 where my son lives. After dating my now boyfriend for a couple months, he moved me in with him and have been together since. He is still not committed to getting married. He is now 52, has a reputation for sleeping with married women and was single for 10+ years before I met him.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    You're sharing a lover with your niece, that's terrible in every way possible.

    Why on earth did you want him when you knew she was having an affair with him? I don't understand it.

    As for leaving him, I think anyone would dump him in a second. Who wants your nieces leftovers? Ew.

    It would make more sense to leave that whole mess and find a man of your own.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Why would you move in with a man you didn't even know? You dated him for a couple of months and then you moved in with a stranger who has turned out to be just another flavor of your husband of 15 years.

    I think you should leave him and get yourself into therapy to help you figure yourself out and why you don't take care of your emotional health and instead jump in with both feet without knowing or even considering what lurks at the bottom.

    Why would you stay with him?
    Is it because you are unable to support yourself?
    Do you feel trapped somehow?
    Can your son help you to move out and find a place of your own?
    What do you do that you need to go away for "training" so often?

    Maybe she just has a thing for cheating men? Maybe she likes being cheated on.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    You knew he was cheating on you back in 2017. You also knew he had a history of affairs with married women. Yet you chose to stay with him and even allowed him to move in with you after a very short time of dating.

    Back in 2017 you asked "is this as good as it gets?" and seemed to think that because of your age and health issues you had to settle.

    May I ask why, despite knowing he was a cheater, you chose to remain in the relationship?
    Not only that but promote him from boyfriend to fiance...

  7. #16
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    I don't understand why you're asking if you should leave... from what you've told us...

    - He slept with your niece while you were away (Class act!)
    - He has a history of cheating and affairs with married women (Yep, sounds like a keeper!)
    - He has done numerous things in our relationship that have given me ample reason for leaving (Wow - this guy really is someone you should devote your life to!)

    Rather than you asking us whether you should leave or not - what do YOU think you should do?

  8. #17
    Bronze Member EternalOptimis's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by spunkmire
    Maybe she just has a thing for cheating men? Maybe she likes being cheated on.
    That, sadly, I have come to realise is a thing.
    I briefly dated someone who had been cheated on with pretty much every man she'd been with over thirty years.
    To be cheated on in one relationship is unlucky. Twice is terrible. Any more and there's clearly a pattern that belies an unwell psychology.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by EternalOptimis
    That, sadly, I have come to realise is a thing.
    I briefly dated someone who had been cheated on with pretty much every man she'd been with over thirty years.
    To be cheated on in one relationship is unlucky. Twice is terrible. Any more and there's clearly a pattern that belies an unwell psychology.
    They're doing fine now, but one of my best friends is married to a guy who says he was cheated in all of his relationships and used that as an excuse to be excessively jealous. I've always been wary of people who say they were cheated in all of their relationships. Yes, it's the cheaters fault they cheat, but there must be something that's driving these people who only date cheaters to this type of people. I haven't been that lucky in love in the past, but I know that part of it is also because of bad choices I've made. Taking responsibility is the best way to change these patterns and choose better people.

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