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Thread: 2 Months Intense Dating

  1. #11
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    OP has left the building guys.

    Another one and done.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    OP has left the building guys.

    Another one and done.
    And I thought that he, you know, liked me. I thought we were all going somewhere...

    What's up with people today and their mixed messages?

    Feeling used...

    (wink emoji)

  3. #13
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    It's called ghosting, Bluecastle.

    It will be alright, you'll get through this.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    It's called ghosting, Bluecastle.

    It will be alright, you'll get through this.
    No, but Sherry? You don't understand. I've been ghosted before. He was different. It was just one post, yeah, but I felt seen. We totally got each other.

    (Oh, Sundaze...)

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    :snicker:

    That made me laugh.

  7. #16
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    Regardless of his absence or presence on the board, my opinion is that in February, it will be three months into this relationship and way too soon to completely revamp your life and life-goals and career goals. It was probably a bad idea to actively pursue a relationship when he knew, in advance, he was leaving in February.

    What he doesn't state is if he already has a job lined up or if he's just going to London to play and see if he can find something. If he already has job prospects, he was a bit sh--y for not disclosing this from the start. If he doesn't have prospects, he'll be putting in applications, which could keep him local or take him away, and who knows how far or where...and this needed to be disclosed from the start as well.

    I would be interested to know if he disclosed his unstable roots from the get-go. I'd be curious to know if he just wants the party-London experience before really hankering down, and how well weeks or months of absence from his career field and education will go over with prospective companies if he wanted to "party first."

    I think that he should pursue his prospects as planned, and if this woman is "the one," while difficult, it should work out...hopefully. It won't be easy by any stretch of the imagination. I for one would not want to thwart my potential husband's goals and efforts, though it would put me in a place of having to determine if I can go along with it, and that would stink, big time.

    I think the very bottom line that bothers me most about this thread is whether or not the OP disclosed his intentions from the start.

  8. #17
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    Hi everyone, sorry for not being active since I started this thread last week. I read most of your replies and been thinking over the weekend, and I was overwhelmed by all the thoughts and decisions that I was going through. Regarding if I have disclosed my intentions at the start, we both told each other what we are currently doing (both at university) and what we are planning to do after graduation in the first couple dates. She know I'll be looking for my first real job, and I'll be looking everywhere without a specific place in mind. London is my default answer to where I want to move to cause there are so many jobs there, and many people from my field tend to go there because of that. I don't mind where I go as long as it's within the UK and it's a big city. I don't have a job lined up and I have yet to apply to companies. Because of that we've not talked about the possibility of me moving away, until two days ago on Monday I brought it up when we met.

    We talked about it to understand what we want and where do we see ourselves in the next few years. There wasn't a decision at the end of that night cause we both wanted to thinking about it overnight, and we met again yesterday. We raised and focused on a few points:


    I'm finishing my postgrad studies soon and she only just started her undergrad studies, and has 3 and a half years to go. I'll be working full time in a real job, she'll be studying and working part time. We are at different life stages and we won't know if we'll change or want the same thing after few years?

    Working in our home city won't be possible cause it's a very small city and not many jobs in my field there. I can try and find jobs in the bigger cities that are only 1.5 hours away from her uni and our home city, but with my full time job and her commitments to studies and part time job that has to work over weekend sometime, are we likely to see each other? And yes it's only 1.5 hours away, but it still won't be the same as living in the same city?

    She doesn't want to move and live in London. The London living lifestyle is not what she wants.

    She also brought up her last relationship before me, which lasted one year and ended just about a year before we met. Her ex was cheating and manipulative, she caught him cheating couple times before breaking up with him. Because of that she says she's now anxious and insecure when getting in a relationship, and she's not sure if she'll feel secure and happy if we don't see each other often enough.


    We didn't exactly say we are breaking up at the end, but I think we both know it's best to stop seeing each other now before emotions get deeper and we would be more upset then if we have to break up. We've not talk since last night and I'm not sure if we will in the near future?

  9. #18
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    I know we only met and started seeing each other 2 months ago, and we are still in the honeymoon period etc, but the fact that we've never argued and we've always enjoyed our time together makes it harder to just stop speaking to her and move on? Like, there's no reason to break up with her? My head and logic says I should always focus on myself, but then my emotions says "what if she's the one?", that I should stay and fight for? Ant the thought of cutting all contacts, get on with my life and "pretend" that she never existed just pains me.

  10. #19
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    You don't have to go to any extremes.

    I don't think anyone advised you to "pretend she doesn't exist".

    What I recommended is you two work out ways to visit one another after you move.

    And of course you don't argue! That is typical of the honeymoon phase. You're in the throes of bliss. Any disagreements would come later, after the bliss settles down and the real world returns.

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