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Thread: Thoughts On Therapy?

  1. #1
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    Thoughts On Therapy?

    I was talking with my mom today about how hard Iím taking this breakup and she mentioned if she thought it would help if I had someone to talk to/saw a therapist. Weíve been broken up roughly 7 weeks and Iíve been in NC for 5+ weeks.

    Is it too soon to give in to therapy? And for those of you that decided on therapy for this reason or another, what are your thoughts on it? Did it help you? I just feel like I need something or someone to help me get through this difficult time.

    I donít want to feel embarrassed because my reason for going is because of a breakup. Is it common to do that? I also donít want to always burst into tears when I talk to the therapist about whatís going on.

    Any advice would be helpful. Thanks!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's the same as going to a physical therapist for a strained ankle. When something is up, have it addressed. It doesn't matter what prompted it.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    I've always found therapy to be helpful. There's no shame in taking charge of your life and seeking help.

    The guy in this video offers an interesting perspective on the stigma surrounding therapy and mental health issues. Such stigma really is nonsensical.

    Do what you need to do.


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    Nope, not for me. Tried it twice with different psychiatrists/psychologists, hated it both times, didn't find it helpful at all and am not trying it again. Therapy as such is an awful lot more wide-spread and popular in the US than here in the UK.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Hi DC*

    I've worked as a counselor/therapist for around 9 years now... You know what about 75% of my clients would come in for...?

    Yup. Breakups and/or Divorce.

    You're not the first and you certainly won't be the last*

    I ended up in multiple therapies when my own marriage fell apart.

    So a couple of things: Be mindful of the costs. Some countries do cover a certain amount of sessions... But better to be spending money on healing and mental health than drugs or alcohol right? :)

    Shop around a bit. All counselors come with their own biases and experiences and most will specalize in certain areas. Find one you like and don't be afraid to change (we don't take it personally I promise*).

    Deep therapy can be a little overwhelming when you're in the early stages of grief. You're already dealing with a lot. But it can be good to just talk and have someone listen.

    Write out things you want to take to the session. You can go on all sorts of tangents during the session as it all comes tumbling out and before you know it the hour's up and you're back sitting in the car feeling more confused than when you went in! :)

    Subscribe to this channel and watch the videos ~ [Register to see the link]

    Come to this forum to write stuff out and vent.

    Try your hardest to not contact your ex and stay the hell away from FaceBook and social media...It will all still be there later but for now, stay off it*

    It's never easy buddy and some take it harder than others....

    Be patient and kind to yourself. This is about you and your healing now.

    Focus Young Padawan*

    Carus*

    Edit: MetalTwin posted as I was writing this out. And it's true, it's not for everyone although a lot of that can depend on the points I've mentioned above. S'why I think it's so important to find the right one....
    He also mentions psychiatrist/psychologist... Different to a counselor. Those guys can be a bit quick sometimes to jump straight on the meds (that's my opinion, not advice. Meds have their place but grief is not depression. That's why you haven't heard of antiGrief pills. Boy I wish there were! :-/)

    Anyway, hope this helps. Give it a go. If it helps, great. If it doesn't then maybe put it aside for a while*

  7. #6
    Member frustrated1's Avatar
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    I just got out of a relationship a little less than two weeks ago and I started seeing a therapist this week. I have seen therapists and psychiatrists before for other reasons, but I definitely do not think a break up is an embarrassing reason to go to therapy. Many people (such as myself) feel broken and lost, and have low self-esteem after tough break ups. I find it beneficial to talk to someone who is objective and a third party. You may not believe all the things your friends and family say to you because they love you. When I hear advice from a third party who is not invested in my life personally, i tend to take more stock in it. That is just me though.

    Also, make sure you feel like the fit is right. I saw a psychiatrist many years ago who was quick to prescribe be anti-depressants. I wanted to work on the root of the issues, not deal with symptoms. So I stayed away from psychiatrists after that. Later on I saw a counselor who actually did more damage than actually help, and I continued to go (not sure why) until I realized the sessions were not making me feel any better. Now I found a spiritual counselor whom I hope will help me, she seems very empathetic and open. We have a good connection and that is so important. So I strongly recommend therapy, but with the right therapist for you!

  8. #7
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    My brother had a PhD in psychology and I fully believe in the benefits of a good therapist no matter the reason. Really, they have heard it all. They know about breakups and divorces and the angst some people feel and they can help you learn to deal with it and get thru it and move on as a whole person, not someone who is broken, which you seem to be. Put your feelings of doubt aside and go see someone, I think you'll be glad you did.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Hmmmm, lemme think if I've found therapy helpful....

    YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

    So, that's the short answer. Sorry if I cracked your screen.

    Go, try it. Won't hurt. Will probably help. No shame in itónoneóand it might just help some of that other unfounded shame dissolve.

    Now, that's not to say I don't have some more complicated thoughts on therapy, because I do. Self-exploration can give way to self-absorptionówhich, while less corrosive than a post-breakup shame spiral, can become its own sort of unproductive spiral.

    But that's the kind of stuff you start considering after, I don't know, a year of therapy. You're hurting, you're reaching, you could use some help in finding those footholds. Asking for help is about the strongest thing a person can do, one step removed from the really strong thing, which is getting help.

    So give it a try.

    My two cents.

  10. #9
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    Well, you might be "embarrassed" because you broke your ankle trying to breakdance at your cousin's wedding, but you'll still go get it treated, right? "Embarrassment" wouldn't stop you from getting treatment for any other medical issue.

    Do you think the therapist will shout "LOSER!" when they find out you're there to get help for a breakup?

    OK, now that you're feeling a bit silly and laughing, go ahead and see a therapist if you feel it would benefit you.

  11. #10
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    You should go.

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