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Thread: Am I friendzoned or is there a chance she might change her mind?

  1. #1
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    Am I friendzoned or is there a chance she might change her mind?

    Met a girl from Bumble and here's how it's gone dating wise:

    Sat 29 Dec - went for a few afternoon drinks.
    Sun 30 Dec - Went out for a meal and more drinks, ended up staying over at hers kissing most of the night, slept together but we didn't have sex.
    Mon 31 Dec - As I woke up at hers we took her dog for a walk in the park and spent most of the day together.
    Tues 1 Jan - She came over to mine and we ordered Chinese, she didn't stay over.
    Sat 5 Jan- Went for drinks, ended up staying at hers and we slept together, this time had sex.
    Sun 6 Jan - Went for a meal and to the cinema.
    Fri 11 Jan - She came over to mine and I cooked her a meal, she didn't stay over.

    Didn't hear from her for a couple of days so asked what was going on, her response was:
    "Sorry, keep meaning to message back my auntís staying at the moment. Iím getting nothing done. I feel we really get on and connect well which is what Iíve also been having some time to mull over, but I do think it might be more of a friendship forming than a romantic connection on my part."

    I texted back with the following:
    No worries at all and I can imagine itís busy, hope youíre having a nice time though. Thank you for being honest and to be honest on my part, I do really fancy you and like you quite a bit so donít think I could be just friends which I hope you understand. If there is still a chance let me know.

    Any chance she might reach back out or should I give up all hope?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Yes, she might reach out, but as a friend only.
    I like the way you handled it though.
    Shake this off and carry on.

  3. #3
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    It doesnít sound like she wants more. You stuck to what is true to you and thatís the most important thing you can do. I like how you handled it. Iím sorry it didnít go as you wanted but plenty of fish in the sea especially on Bumble.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member superfan's Avatar
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    She was honest with you - she doesn't want to be with you romantically. You handled it well.

    Leave it there.

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  6. #5
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    Sorry OP, but it just didn't click for her romantically. It was good that she was honest.

    It's unlikely that her feelings are going to change on that.

  7. #6
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    Yes! Kudos to you, OP. It sucks but you handled it well and maturely while being true to yourself. Good for you!

    Unfortunately, I agree with the others. I think this one is done. But... sounds like you are a great catch. You should find someone new in no time.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by richdeniro

    Sat 5 Jan- Went for drinks, ended up staying at hers and we slept together, this time had sex.
    Sun 6 Jan - Went for a meal and to the cinema.
    Fri 11 Jan - She came over to mine and I cooked her a meal, she didn't stay over.
    Yeah agree with the others, and this^^ pretty much proves it, imo.

    When two people are attracted and begin having sex, and it was mutually enjoyable, next time they're together at home, they're gonna want to have sex again!

    She chose not to = friendzone.

    Sex can really make it or break it imo. This time, unfortunately, it broke it.

    You did handle it very well though, so kudos to you!
    Last edited by katrina1980; 01-18-2019 at 08:46 PM.

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Yeah agree with the others, and this^^ pretty proves it.

    When two people are attracted and begin having sex, and it was mutually enjoyable, next time they're together at home, they're gonna want to have sex again!

    She chose not to = friendzone.

    Sex can really make it or break it imo. This time, unfortunately, it broke it.

    You did handle it very well though, so kudos to you!
    I do get that although she did have a valid reason for not staying over that time - she's part of a running club so had to be up at 8am on the morning after that Friday and she also has a dog at home so had to get back for him. When she did come over that evening I cooked her dinner we spent a fair chunk of the evening kissing on the sofa though.

    But yes, it does make sense, perhaps it was the sex.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by richdeniro
    I do get that although she did have a valid reason for not staying over that time - she's part of a running club so had to be up at 8am on the morning after that Friday and she also has a dog at home so had to get back for him. When she did come over that evening I cooked her dinner we spent a fair chunk of the evening kissing on the sofa though.
    Was she turned on?

    I can only speak for myself of course, but when I'm super attracted to a man, we've already had sex and it was good, we're at his and we're kissing on his sofa, next move is heading straight to his bed! Even if I had to leave afterwards to get up early the next morn.

    I dunno I think it's telling she simply chose to go home and then sent you that text telling you she feels it's more a friendship.

    But again you handled it well, and who knows, she may contact you later, I wouldn't hold my breath, but people have been known to change their minds about these things.

    Just go no contact and let the next move (if there is one) be hers.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Was she turned on?

    I can only speak for myself of course, but when I'm super attracted to a man, we've already had sex and it was good, we're at his and we're kissing on his sofa, next move is heading straight to his bed! Even if I had to leave afterwards to get up early the next morn.

    I dunno I think it's telling she simply chose to go home and then sent you that text telling you she feels it's more a friendship.

    But again you handled it well, and who knows, she may contact you later, I wouldn't hold my breath, but people have been known to change their minds about these things.

    Just go no contact and let the next move (if there is one) be hers.
    To be completely honest I know I wasn't my best and have been thinking a bit about it since. We'd had a few drinks and I was very nervous/anxious as I did really like her - I even mentioned it at the time and she told me not to worry as these things do sometimes take time. In the morning I was much better and she even made the comment 'you wasn't so nervous that time'. As a person I am extremely intimate and loving so we spent most of that morning cuddling which she seemed to enjoy and as she had a bad back I also gave her a massage which again she really liked but I guess it might not have been enough.

    I did want to take it further the time she came over afterwards and we did spend the night kissing but she is a fairly introverted/quiet person anyway and me being me, I can probably be too gentlemanly at times and that was one of them.

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