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Am I friendzoned or is there a chance she might change her mind?


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Met a girl from Bumble and here's how it's gone dating wise:

 

Sat 29 Dec - went for a few afternoon drinks.

Sun 30 Dec - Went out for a meal and more drinks, ended up staying over at hers kissing most of the night, slept together but we didn't have sex.

Mon 31 Dec - As I woke up at hers we took her dog for a walk in the park and spent most of the day together.

Tues 1 Jan - She came over to mine and we ordered Chinese, she didn't stay over.

Sat 5 Jan- Went for drinks, ended up staying at hers and we slept together, this time had sex.

Sun 6 Jan - Went for a meal and to the cinema.

Fri 11 Jan - She came over to mine and I cooked her a meal, she didn't stay over.

 

Didn't hear from her for a couple of days so asked what was going on, her response was:

"Sorry, keep meaning to message back my aunt’s staying at the moment. I’m getting nothing done. I feel we really get on and connect well which is what I’ve also been having some time to mull over, but I do think it might be more of a friendship forming than a romantic connection on my part."

 

I texted back with the following:

No worries at all and I can imagine it’s busy, hope you’re having a nice time though. Thank you for being honest and to be honest on my part, I do really fancy you and like you quite a bit so don’t think I could be just friends which I hope you understand. If there is still a chance let me know.

 

Any chance she might reach back out or should I give up all hope?

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Sat 5 Jan- Went for drinks, ended up staying at hers and we slept together, this time had sex.

Sun 6 Jan - Went for a meal and to the cinema.

Fri 11 Jan - She came over to mine and I cooked her a meal, she didn't stay over.

 

 

Yeah agree with the others, and this^^ pretty much proves it, imo.

 

When two people are attracted and begin having sex, and it was mutually enjoyable, next time they're together at home, they're gonna want to have sex again!

 

She chose not to = friendzone.

 

Sex can really make it or break it imo. This time, unfortunately, it broke it.

 

You did handle it very well though, so kudos to you!

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Yeah agree with the others, and this^^ pretty proves it.

 

When two people are attracted and begin having sex, and it was mutually enjoyable, next time they're together at home, they're gonna want to have sex again!

 

She chose not to = friendzone.

 

Sex can really make it or break it imo. This time, unfortunately, it broke it.

 

You did handle it very well though, so kudos to you!

 

I do get that although she did have a valid reason for not staying over that time - she's part of a running club so had to be up at 8am on the morning after that Friday and she also has a dog at home so had to get back for him. When she did come over that evening I cooked her dinner we spent a fair chunk of the evening kissing on the sofa though.

 

But yes, it does make sense, perhaps it was the sex.

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I do get that although she did have a valid reason for not staying over that time - she's part of a running club so had to be up at 8am on the morning after that Friday and she also has a dog at home so had to get back for him. When she did come over that evening I cooked her dinner we spent a fair chunk of the evening kissing on the sofa though.

 

Was she turned on?

 

I can only speak for myself of course, but when I'm super attracted to a man, we've already had sex and it was good, we're at his and we're kissing on his sofa, next move is heading straight to his bed! Even if I had to leave afterwards to get up early the next morn.

 

I dunno I think it's telling she simply chose to go home and then sent you that text telling you she feels it's more a friendship.

 

But again you handled it well, and who knows, she may contact you later, I wouldn't hold my breath, but people have been known to change their minds about these things.

 

Just go no contact and let the next move (if there is one) be hers.

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Was she turned on?

 

I can only speak for myself of course, but when I'm super attracted to a man, we've already had sex and it was good, we're at his and we're kissing on his sofa, next move is heading straight to his bed! Even if I had to leave afterwards to get up early the next morn.

 

I dunno I think it's telling she simply chose to go home and then sent you that text telling you she feels it's more a friendship.

 

But again you handled it well, and who knows, she may contact you later, I wouldn't hold my breath, but people have been known to change their minds about these things.

 

Just go no contact and let the next move (if there is one) be hers.

 

To be completely honest I know I wasn't my best and have been thinking a bit about it since. We'd had a few drinks and I was very nervous/anxious as I did really like her - I even mentioned it at the time and she told me not to worry as these things do sometimes take time. In the morning I was much better and she even made the comment 'you wasn't so nervous that time'. As a person I am extremely intimate and loving so we spent most of that morning cuddling which she seemed to enjoy and as she had a bad back I also gave her a massage which again she really liked but I guess it might not have been enough.

 

I did want to take it further the time she came over afterwards and we did spend the night kissing but she is a fairly introverted/quiet person anyway and me being me, I can probably be too gentlemanly at times and that was one of them.

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Aww, don't feel too bad, that happens sometimes, especially when you really like someone, the nerves and anxiety get the best of you!

 

And then with the drinking, it's totally understandable!

 

Who knows what her deal is. It's hard to say, it could be so many things; but in any event, you sound like an awesome guy (and I don't say that very often, if ever, on this forum), continue meeting the ladies, and if she changes her mind and contacts you down the road, see how you feel then.

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Oh, don't let this be something that gets you questioning your mojo or turning that "gentlemanly" dial down a bit. You are who you are, and that's an awesome dude. Just wasn't in the cards for this one to have the legs you hoped for. Happens. Been there.

 

I believe it was Gandhi who, in these situations, advised, "Take a moment to reflect, and then keep swiping."

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Aww, don't feel too bad, that happens sometimes, especially when you really like someone, the nerves and anxiety get the best of you!

 

And then with the drinking, it's totally understandable!

 

Who knows what her deal is. It's hard to say, it could be so many things; but in any event, you sound like an awesome guy (and I don't say that very often, if ever, on this forum), continue meeting the ladies, and if she changes her mind and contacts you down the road, see how you feel then.

 

Oh, don't let this be something that gets you questioning your mojo or turning that "gentlemanly" dial down a bit. You are who you are, and that's an awesome dude. Just wasn't in the cards for this one to have the legs you hoped for. Happens. Been there.

 

I believe it was Gandhi who, in these situations, advised, "Take a moment to reflect, and then keep swiping."

 

Thank you both ❤️

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Another query with the online stuff. I seem to get involved with emotionally unavailable women fairly regularly on there. I now think this recent thing with the girl who ended with me may have been emotionally unavailable without knowing it herself as I noticed over the weekend that she updated her 'looking for' section on Bumble to 'don't know', previously she hadn't filled that part in and I know she came out of a serious relationship at the beginning of last year. Plus obviously I had that thing with my ex last year who was on a massive rebound from her divorce.

 

I know it's usually men who are perceived as being emotionally unavailable but are there just as many women who are but perhaps don't really know they are when they get into OLD?

 

I mean is it possible that some women go on the apps, have a few dates with someone they click with and then suddenly something hits them that says they aren't really ready? I wish I could filter these before dating them. I just wonder if after the 7 dates we had in such a short amount of time and then me asking where we stood after she went quiet for a few days caused that emotional unavailability to come out.

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