How To Deal With Mutual Debts

Hi,

My partner and I have just “broken up” there is hopes for us in the future as this is kind of a break (we are not talking about the breakup/break in this message though)

We have just brought a new car together, have a credit card with all our furniture etc brought on it and still paying it all back. We just moved into a new rental.

I can not afford to pay for these things if I am single and neither can he?

Do we continue to pay it off together and then spilt the money when we can sell it or do we continue paying in hopes we will get back together (this is my preferred option of course)

We both love and care for each other but just need some time.

Thanks.

If you are financially intertwined, you can't really just huff off and say "i need a break!"

I think you should sit down and figure everything out --

Is it something you can talk out since you just went on this buying spree?

Is there any furniture you can return? I would do that if you just got it. And then the person staying in the apartment and using the furniture should pay for it.

Who is using the car? you? Him? the person who the car belongs to should be paying for it. If they have the credit to carry it themselves, then the other person could be taken off the loan or maybe it could be refinanced in six months.

It seems like a break up to me if you aren't merely going to your parents for a week - but if you move out/broke up.

Decide what is going on - do you need a week away to clear your head? Or is this a breakup.

btw, buying a car or having a credit card with someone who is not your spouse is stupid.

I mean, i can see a parent and child co-owning a car if the child is 16, but other than that -- it is just a mess.

Right. I guess it’s too late for this advice - but when you are married, it makes sense to join finances. Legally you are one entity (what’s yours is his and vice versa) and to get out of a marriage you need to involve lawyers, etc who are experts at these things anyways. You are also protected by your divorce agreement.

Creditors are under no obligation to refinance under only one name (even in a divorce). You are BOTH responsible for the full amount. They don’t care if you were supposed to pay 50/50 or 30/70 or whatever. But - at least with your divorce agreement you can legally go after the other one for what’s been spelled out.

When you are not married, it does not make sense to co-mingle assets and debts with your partner any more than it would be to buy a car with your neighbor, for example. It’s just messy and complicated for no reason. And you have no protection. You are both responsible for the full amount of everything you signed for and if they simply choose not to pay, you are going down with them.

My advice is to find out how much it will cost you to break the lease and sell the car. As for the furniture... that’s much more tricky. Sell it or divide it up and hope beyond hope that they are honest and good with finances and pay their share.

... but I hope you learn from this situation. Don’t mingle finances with someone you are not married to.

He is my spouse. We brought this car and furniture way before he decided to have a “break”. Really think I go around spending money with someone who I didn’t think was gonna be around for long?

He’s your spouse? Well then you both make equal payments. If it comes to divorce then you split assets

He’s your spouse? Well then you both make equal payments. If it comes to divorce then you split assets

That's correct. I was under the impression he was a boyfriend, not a husband. He has to continue with payments equally.

He is my spouse. We brought this car and furniture way before he decided to have a “break”. Really think I go around spending money with someone who I didn’t think was gonna be around for long?

In both of your threads you refer to him as your "partner", not husband. That's why people are confused.

He's "not happy" according to your other thread, and wants a "break" from the marriage.

See, in my world marriages don't have "breaks". You might be separated, but you are still married. I have to wonder what he thought marriage would be, if he thought he would get "vacations" from being married to play at being single.

But no matter, he doesn't get to take a "break" from his financial responsibilities. You're married; you both own the debts.

some tough love here..

If you two were adult enough to get married to one another and adult enough to purchase high price items together and move into a new place, then you two should be adult enough to get together and figure it out. Credit companies don't care if you are on a break, or fighting, they want their money.

Someone is going to have to be the adult and initiate a dialog to work this out. If you don't, both of your credit ratings will be damaged and eventually youll need to buy or rent again. Figure it out.

Spouse/Partner whatever I never once said husband?

Spouse/Partner whatever I never once said husband?

According to most dictionaries spouse = husband/wife.

OP, it really would have helped in BOTH your threads if you give proper information so as to avoid all this confusion. It's all so unnecessary when all it needed was all the proper and relevant information. So now we've gone from boyfriend, partner, spouse and then de facto. Really, all just way too confusing.

Spouse/Partner whatever I never once said husband?

Spouse is another word for husband/wife

Unfortunately, it matters. It’s not about being judgey... it’s about how the law treats the relationships differently.

If you are married, it doesn’t matter who pays. It’s all joint money and it gets worked out in the complex calculations of the divorce.

If you are not married, it matters. There are no laws to protect you.

'We both love and care for each other but just need some time.'

No. You love him and care for him. He's left to 'find happiness', according to your other thread...

Did he move out? Who is driving the car? Who is paying the insurance on it? Whose name is on the car title? Yes, all the bills have to be paid whether you reconcile or not.

If he walked out and his name is on the lease, he is legally obligated to pay rent. Whose name is on the car loan? Yes, whoever is on the car loan has to continue to pay it. Yes all your credit card bills have to be paid. Whose name is on the cards?

You need to discuss your joint ventures and financial arrangements with him. You both must pay for things. Banks and landlords don't care about breakups. If he will not talk to you or abandoned you and things are in your name there is not much you can do, but start selling things off and paying the bills.

He does have to continue paying for whatever his name is on such as the lease, car loans or credit cards, etc..

We have just brought a new car together, have a credit card with all our furniture etc brought on it and still paying it all back. We just moved into a new rental.

I can not afford to pay for these things if I am single and neither can he?