Walked away but can't move on

I met a girl on Tik Tok. I quickly fell for her (which I rarely do) and we got on really well. I suffer from social anxiety. Not long after I met her, she began to experience a number of personal issues. Out of paranoia, I confessed how i felt to her, afraid that she was gonna cut me out of her life or something. Soon after I told her, she began to distance herself from me and then her other friends as well. I made numerous attempts to try and maintain contact with her. However, I quickly became little more than most of her friends, someone she only spoke to on occasion. I guess it was because of my mental state at the time but being pushed to the side hurt a lot and so, selfishly, I cut contact with her completely. I still talk to a mutual friend fairly regularly. It seems that the girl wasn't intentionally cutting me out but was overwhelmed by everything, and so didn't really understand why I just disappeared. I feel guilty for what I did but don't see what else I could've done. It was killing me being there and not being of any real significance but now I'm left wondering if it hurt more then or now. I don't really see a way to reverse what I've done because its unlikely that she cares me about me as much as I do about her. I just don't really know what I should do or whether what I did was the right thing or not. With a number of other things going on in my life, this whole period has had a pretty significant effect on my mental state.

I have never tied something like this before but this is a new situation for me.

Have you met in person or dated her? It sounds like a circle of friends on a social media app and she just backed away. If she contacts you, you can be her friend but it seems like she wasn't ready for your confession feelings for her.

I met a girl on Tik Tok. I confessed how i felt to her. Soon after I told her, she began to distance herself from me and then her other friends as well

Have you met in person or dated her?

That's my question, too.

I met a girl on Tik Tok. I quickly fell for her (which I rarely do) and we got on really well. I suffer from social anxiety. Not long after I met her, she began to experience a number of personal issues. Out of paranoia, I confessed how i felt to her, afraid that she was gonna cut me out of her life or something. Soon after I told her, she began to distance herself from me and then her other friends as well. I made numerous attempts to try and maintain contact with her. However, I quickly became little more than most of her friends, someone she only spoke to on occasion. I guess it was because of my mental state at the time but being pushed to the side hurt a lot and so, selfishly, I cut contact with her completely. I still talk to a mutual friend fairly regularly. It seems that the girl wasn't intentionally cutting me out but was overwhelmed by everything, and so didn't really understand why I just disappeared. I feel guilty for what I did but don't see what else I could've done. It was killing me being there and not being of any real significance but now I'm left wondering if it hurt more then or now. I don't really see a way to reverse what I've done because its unlikely that she cares me about me as much as I do about her. I just don't really know what I should do or whether what I did was the right thing or not. With a number of other things going on in my life, this whole period has had a pretty significant effect on my mental state.

 

I have never tied something like this before but this is a new situation for me.

Hi thanks for your replies. Haven't met in person due to distance but have skyped etc quite a bit. I get this probably seems really stupid so thanks for your advice.

Don't you think you should meet people locally? You cannot have a relationship with someone you never see.

What are you doing about the anxiety?

"can't" is invented in your head to stop you from doing what you know you need to do. There is no "can't" - just "choose not to" or "unwilling to."

When you truly choose and are willing to move on - you will.

period.

Don't you think you should meet people locally? You cannot have a relationship with someone you never see.

 

What are you doing about the anxiety?

Hi,

I didn't go there with the intention off meeting anyone, it just sort of happened. I wasn't particularly prepared for it either really. As for the anxiety, I am currently awaiting a new assessment for psychotherapy for depression and anxiety.

Thanks for your reply

"can't" is invented in your head to stop you from doing what you know you need to do. There is no "can't" - just "choose not to" or "unwilling to."

When you truly choose and are willing to move on - you will.

 

period.

Hi,

That's true. I guess I just don't trust my own judgement enough to make the choice.

Ok, it's fine to enjoy all sorts of chatgroups and social media but to find a girlfriend, you'll have to get on dating apps with a good profile and pics and start messaging local girls you can meet in person and go out on dates with..

I didn't go there with the intention off meeting anyone, it just sort of happened.

Ok, it's fine to enjoy all sorts of chatgroups and social media but to find a girlfriend, you'll have to get on dating apps with a good profile and pics and start messaging local girls you can meet in person and go out on dates with..

Hi,

Thanks for your reply. I agree with that. However, as I said, I wasn’t on there to date and didn’t expect to meet anyone. Once I did I immediately moved it away from that site and tried to connect with her more