Am I too relaxed or ok?

So I broke up just a few days ago - knowing she had places to stay and relatives to help and her salary would arrive that day I got her evicted from our appartment, everything that belongs to her, everything that could remind me of her later - she had already considered moving out or going back to her ex and my last drop of patience was the fact that she stayed with a "friend" two days prior and was drinking again in town, did not arrive until early in the morning and I decided "that's it".

What I am wondering right now is why am I feeling so good, calm, full of energy? Of course during the first two days when we last texted with a few goodbyes and expressed our thanks for what we experienced together I cried like crazy and then we went NC.

Is it because I have way more things to worry about? Like paying the bills?

Is it because the relationship was already destined to fail early on because of my trust issues, her still thinking about her ex, us moving in together too fast, our age gap?

Is it because I know that I was 100% right to decide to dump her?

Is it because she said she did not know if she loves me or not anymore? I mean - to tell someone you don't know or worse don't love them anymore at all is so harsh that I did not even care anymore myself.

Well, it's kind of like having surgery. The first day or two after the surgery you aren't in that much pain because the anesthesia hasn't worn off yet. But the second or third day after, holy cow!

So you may just be having a delayed reaction.

Does it bother you that it doesn't seem to bother you?

I think the fact that you’re posting here is evidence you aren’t ‘too calm’ about this, if you were it wouldn’t be a blip. If anything you’re overthinking and maybe afraid of the pain to start.

Does it bother you that it doesn't seem to bother you?

Well this seems to be the first time ever it is this easy, I mean, I have been the rebound for a girl several years ago for 3 months and then parting ways was way more painful than this after we both realized it's going nowhere.

Now I'm like doing fine, of course I can put a song on and cry about the things we did and that it's over, but it passes as soon as I go through the reasons why I was sure for a long time it won't lead to anything and I'm grateful I had her in my life and I hope she learned from it as well.

I think the fact that you’re posting here is evidence you aren’t ‘too calm’ about this, if you were it wouldn’t be a blip. If anything you’re overthinking and maybe afraid of the pain to start.

I'm not telling it is not painful, but it's way different than my other few times and I guess it's because it was toxic and I knew I have to end it otherwise it will lead to more pain later. Like I said it was already doomed to end at the start - I mean, we have a significant age gap, we started living together after just a few months of dating, we barely have anything in common, I had to struggle to trust her (and I have a lot of reasons to), it just feels so right that I did it. Plus after she started wondering if she loves me or not and complaining about so many things, would push me away anytime I tried talking to her - well.

I do have these weird feelings of texting but hey, as I go through all the reasons I had to break up, I would not be dumb enough to keep something running that was already broken.

My advice is if you're feeling ok then run with it...!

There may be a delayed reaction but that will come whether you think about it or not..so try not to ok*

I've been suffering quite badly for the best part of a year. It ain't fun.

So if that doesn't happen for you then I say good! I hope it doesn't*

Carry On.

Carus*

Perhaps the relief from conflict is what you feel. Whose apt is this? How can you evict her on short notice, less than two mos after this post?:

I'm staying with my girlfriend, we do have little savings but if I don't manage to find anything in 2 weeks I don't know what I'm going to do. Without my girlfriend I would be forced to live on the street by now.

Perhaps the relief from conflict is what you feel. Whose apt is this? How can you evict her on short notice, less than two mos after this post?:

The appartment is mine and she already considered leaving and has plenty of those who could help her with that.

Perhaps the relief from conflict is what you feel. Whose apt is this? How can you evict her on short notice, less than two mos after this post?:

My job situation is better now and I'm the one who pays the rent.

That doesn’t necessarily mean the apartment is yours per se.

You wrote that you lived with your girlfriend during that time of influx which was a few months ago.

It’s pretty odd given those facts that you were able to ‘evict’ her, I mean I don’t know where you are but it’s typically a long legal process, you can’t just kick someone out even if you broke up. I’m assuming it was just a mix up of words and she willingly left.

If you’re gonna stick with the eviction storyline though I don’t have any advice to give because now it seems you’re shaping the story and your reality to get a certain response from your audience, which isn’t going to help you in any way shape or form.

you could be numb, still processing, it hasn't hit you or you could be over it. Who knows. What you do it give yourself time because that will reveal your true answer to all of your questions. You could be over her or you could cry at a stop light when you hear a song. Rather than asking those questions that you don't know the answers too. Why don't you just focus on the now. What you have to do today, what has to be done. In the end, youll know.

Breakups can be so difficult that a feeling of relief afterward can be perfectly natural, especially when it comes down to getting someone to leave you home.

If you are having trouble dealing with a breakup check with local clinics or get a referral from a help line.

So I broke up just a few days ago - I got her evicted from our appartment, everything that belongs to her, everything that could remind me of her later

 

What I am wondering right now is why am I feeling so good, calm, full of energy?