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Thread: Obsessed with people i have never met, help with letting go.

  1. #1

    Obsessed with people i have never met, help with letting go.

    This is a very long story so i'm going to try and sum it up short, 4 years ago my father committed suicide I was in middle school. I remember nothing could make me laugh or happy but one day on I saw these girls online who made comedy videos and it was dumb jokes and a very different sense of humor but I found them to be ridiculously funny and they were the only people that could genuinely put a smile on my face while everything else in my life was crashing down. I ended up discovering that they lived in my state, in a town where I had family, I had used to go to all the time as a child. These girls were famous in a way but not super famous like to be recognized in public, but i began to idolize them and it would get to the point where I had these fantasies where I would just be best friends with them all and in my head it was all great. I had always been an imaginative kid but it never had gone this far. For a long time they were the only thing that could make me happy and being so young I embarrassed myself so much with them and I have so much regret. I remember visiting my family and the whole time I was trying to get in contact with these girls, I wanted to meet them so bad and they were obviously creeped out and at the time I didn't even realize. It is now four years later and sometimes its easier but I still find myself to be so consumed with their lives. I hate to say it but still to this day its like I would do anything just to get to know them better and become friends. I am very worried that they remember me as some sort of "stalker girl" and I hate that for fear of one day bumping into them. I hate to think that I would even be called that because I would never hurt anyone I just so desperately wanted to fit in with them. There have been so many signs of them lately as well, I have run into mutual friends and people who know them and my family and I always leave the situations so confused and flustered because I painted this idea of them in my head and sometimes it all feels so real although i've never actually met one of them in public. I was in the town where they live a few weeks ago heading to the beach and I unknowingly drove by a store and saw one of these girls working through the window and it was the craziest thing ever. I saw her as I drove by and I instantly recognized her and it felt like i had known her for years and could have just gone in like it was normal and we were friends! I obviously would not have done this but the feeling was so strange because in my head it is a whole different world. If anyone could please just give me advice? I really would like to reach out and apologize for unknowingly being so weird. They also do not know about my fathers passing so maybe they can understand why I acted the way I did, but it is in the past and I fear that would bring things up again. I truly do feel in a way that they saved my life and I would not be here today without what they did for me. I am also unsure on how to stop thinking about them constantly, it just feels like it is never ending, partially because I don't want to let them go. Also because even when I do let them go there are always chances of seeing them or hearing about them. It is the strangest thing I have never really told anyone this full story.

    Thank you so much

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Well, first off: are you sure they view you as a stalker girl?

    Also, go easy on yourself a little bit here. A father committing suicide is very traumatic.

  3. #3
    i'm really not sure if they even remember my name I just have so many memories of repeatedly messaging them and always trying to get their attention

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Ok. Well, then the situation may not be so dire. After all, they're two people who are accustomed to making a spectacle of themselves. They may be used to this sort of attention and think nothing of it.

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  6. #5
    yea, they were popular on a platform thats no longer running so the attention they received at least before sorta faded away but they are still on other forms of social media i'm sure others keep up with them but i'm not sure its as much as me. Just from an outside perspective, do you think becoming friends with them would even be realistically possible? I know its kinda hard to answer but for me the lines are so blurred I am unsure if it ever would be.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Are you going to school or working now? It seems you've never had appropriate grief counseling and feel estranged from your own real life. The best thing to do is stop trying to find these people online or in real life and instead start some long overdue therapy to heal from the past and explore what's really going on. Are you looking for a romantic situation with these girls or just envying their apparently "fun" lives?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by electricswag
    Just from an outside perspective, do you think becoming friends with them would even be realistically possible? I know its kinda hard to answer but for me the lines are so blurred I am unsure if it ever would be.
    Yes, they are just human beings like you. But first you have to take them off the pedestal and unblur those lines.

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    Do you have friends in "real life"?

  10. #9
    yes I feel that im even very popular in school, nobody knows about this part of my life even my close friends.

  11. #10
    yes i'm doing both and I have been in grief counseling since my father passed I just never have told the full story to any counselor. I have found myself also considering both situations with them, I also try to connect them to some sort of story, if that makes sense. I'm a writer so I like to use them for characters. More personally I envy their fun lives and I have some regret for it because it feels like I lived my teenage years of discovery (drinking, smoking etc.) through their lives. for example, my first exposer to weed was when I texted one of the girls and she told me that they all smoked and that it wasn't that bad, so then my first time smoking with my friends all I could think about was trying to live up to them and truly wanting to smoke to feel some sort of connection to their experiences. I regret this because I feel I sometimes missed out on MY high school life and experiences with MY friends who are just as good/ most likely better than these girls.

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