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Thread: Weird situation

  1. #1
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    Weird situation

    I was dating this guy for five months & two months ago all of a sudden when he came back from Columbia he changed and I cut him off because I knew he met someone new there. I saw he was adding multiple women while there, I didn’t bother him while on the trip. I just let him have his fun with his friends. We met in Spain 7 months ago, and had met once a month up until I was finish with school to move over there with him. Which he brought up and I agreed. He always brought up getting married and having kids i met his best friend and his parent already knew about me. Then the Columbia trip came and when he got back, we had a mini argument and from there we just never spoke on the phone everyday anymore. And that’s when the two months came about where I just let the whole thing go. During that period I would see him viewing all of my social media stories, because it’s public however I blocked him and unblocked him so he wouldn’t be able to be friends with me on social media. As immature that sounds, I just didn’t want to see him again, out of sight out of mind type of deal.
    Two months later.... we’ll name him good
    “ Goob”. “Goob” lives in LA and my friend is dating “goob’s” friend and so she was going to go visit him in LA, and she wanted me to come with. We’re like sisters and we travel everywhere together. His friend insisted and offered all of us staying at his house and then all a sudden, there’s not an extra room at his house and he suggest for us all of us to stay where the beaches are. Aka where “goob” lives. Goob friend lives in the opposite side, so I’m assuming his friend told “goob”. Knowing goob and I are no longer talking. We all met in Spain so we all know of each other. Well, once I figured what he was doing and I decided wth just tell him happy birthday. Which was yesterday, and he immediately told me he missed me and it meant a whole lot to him and he wanted to talk later that day. Usually when we were dating he would call me after work on his way to gym, but instead he calls me after the gym heading home. (Maybe I’m crazy but to me it just meant he called someone else on the way to the gym) he works an hour or two away from home. So we talk and catch up, and immediately asks me about any trips I had planned. I told him I’ll be in LA in two weeks and he had a fake surprise voice. And said we should meet up and he’ll pick me up at the airport. He ask when was the last time I was in LA I told him last month and he said he had no idea and thanks for giving him a call and what was the purpose of that trip. My thing is, why did he lie? I see him watch all of my stories especially when i was in LA. And I ask him about his trip and he said he’ll be going to Columbia next month with his group of friends again. And there that’s when I knew, he really did meet someone there and he’s going back to see them. (Possibility right but I’m sure)

    Now that I see that he lies more than I know, I just have the intentions of being there because my friend and her guy are going to be together and I’ll be third wheeling. So tagging “goob” along would just be so I wouldn’t be alone and he’ll pay for everything. As crappy as that sounds, he hurt me and he’s a serial liar. I don’t know where he’s been for the past four months we haven’t seen each other and two months that we haven’t spoke. What should I do? I know he’ll try to sleep with me.

    How do I even bring up the whole two month gap or where he’s been for the past couple of months. Because all though he was watching me from a distance he never said one word to me until I told him happy birthday and on the phone he acted as if nothing happened & just kept it player. I don’t know how to react when it’s face to face.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It may be best to just end this and delete and block and untag him and all his people from all your messaging apps and especially all your social media. He doesn't want what you want.

  3. #3
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    I plan to after this trip. But what do you do when you know he’s already going to be there. It’s like a double date thing.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    No one is forcing you to go on a double date with him. Also you don't need to address anything with him. He showed you his intentions. I'd focus on dating local people.
    Last edited by Annia; 01-11-2019 at 10:12 AM.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by Annia
    No one is forcing you to go on a double date with him. Also you don't need to address anything with him. You showed you his intentions. I'd focus on dating local people.
    I get that part. But he’s paying for my hotel room.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MebbieU
    I get that part. But he’s paying for my hotel room.
    You can get your own accommodation and don't need to accept his money.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Don't sink to his level and use him for his money. Wouldn't you rather chew glass than spend time with someone toxic? And thinking about marrying someone only 3 months in? Never make major decisions until knowing someone a year. As you can see, sometimes skeletons come out of the closet and you've only scratched the surface of who a person is at that point.

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by Andrina
    Don't sink to his level and use him for his money. Wouldn't you rather chew glass than spend time with someone toxic? And thinking about marrying someone only 3 months in? Never make major decisions until knowing someone a year. As you can see, sometimes skeletons come out of the closet and you've only scratched the surface of who a person is at that point.
    Is it wrong that I just would rather hear the truth from him face to face. Rather than assuming even if all that’s happened. I just want to know what the hell happened.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    If you are really a third wheel here, then why are you going at all? Seems like it would be better for you to take a pass and let your friend and her guy enjoy some one on one time.

    If you can't cancel going at this point, then you need to tell your friends and spell it out that you categorically don't want to see or spend any time with goob. Like if he shows up anywhere where you guy are, you will get up and leave level of extreme don't want to deal with him. Again, spell it out just how strongly you feel about it.

    Pay for your own hotel, meals, etc. You have no reason to allow yourself to be manipulated into dealing with this guy and had no reason to call him either. You are actually sending some seriously mixed messages about where you really stand and what you want out of this. Also, the moment you let someone pay for you, you owe them. Don't put yourself in that situation ever.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    You said you knew he met someone new in Colombia when you two were supposed to be exclusive. Isn't that all the info you need? He adds all kinds of women to his social media. Sounds like he's having too much fun to be tied down to one woman. Don't waste a second of your time on someone who has different dating goals than you.

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