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Thread: Should I send flowers to my ex girlfriend?

  1. #1

    Should I send flowers to my ex girlfriend?

    Met her the first day of high school. We fell in love and had a relationship for 3 years. I was her first love and she was my first love as well. We're from California but she moved away to Rhode Island to finish High School with her mom. She broke up with me because she had "trust issues". She told me that she loves me and wants me but she has to learn to love herself before she can come back to me. She wants a "different mindset". She didn't block me on Facebook or anything but she does tell me to not message her because it brings pain to her whenever I do. This girl is genuinely the most loyal person I have met, she has never lied to me. My question is... Should I move on? Is she making this up as an excuse to not be with me ? Should I send her flowers for her birthday? I just want her back.

  2. #2
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    I know it's hard but you need to respect her wishes and she has asked you not to contact her. Sending her flowers is contacting her so I would recommend not doing that. It may be an excuse because people don't usually want to let go of someone they really love.

  3. #3
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    Respect her wishes. "but she does tell me to not message her because it brings pain" This is all you need to know.

    Do not send the flowers.

    Please move on with your life.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    That's on the other side of the country! :o

    Unless you're going to move anytime soon, I would say let this go. She is already asking you to not contact her and no doubt part of the reason is because you can't be together even if you wanted to be.

    Maybe down the road (as in years) you might be in a better place to move where the other one is, but for now, it's not a good situation.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Not unless you want to be a creepy stalker. Sending unwanted communication, gifts etc is creepy and in some jurisdictions construed as stalking when it's been made crystal clear that it's over and unwanted.
    Originally Posted by JuanAvina
    she does tell me to not message her because it brings pain to her. Should I send her flowers for her birthday? I just want her back.

  7. #6
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    no flowers. That will make things worse. A quick ttext or email wishing her a happy birthday is more productive.
    you 2 need space and distance so give it to her, and use that time to heal yourself and move on from her.

    once down the line when you're over each other and don't get emotional at the thought of each other.. MAYBE then you can re-connect and see what happens. BUT MOVE ON FIRST! AND LET HER MOVE ON FIRST!

  8. #7
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    Nope, no "quick text or email".

    She asked for you to not contact her. Unless you want her to know for a fact you care nothing about her or her wishes but only your own...do NOT send her ANY kind of message!

  9. #8
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    i only said a quick text email to say a generic "happy birthday" is MORE PRODUCTIVE than sending flowers given her request for no contact.
    doesn't mean it's a good idea either.

    but.. i don't see the harm in generic pleasantries and leaving it at that with no follow-up. Just as long as he's not constnatly texting her.... the out of the blue pleasant, cordial, generic greeting is typically damage-less.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by thisisrichey
    i only said a quick text email to say a generic "happy birthday" is MORE PRODUCTIVE than sending flowers given her request for no contact.
    doesn't mean it's a good idea either.

    but.. i don't see the harm in generic pleasantries and leaving it at that with no follow-up. Just as long as he's not constnatly texting her.... the out of the blue pleasant, cordial, generic greeting is typically damage-less.
    She clearly told him not to contact her.

  11. #10
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    i agree with all of you.
    i was just giving a different perspective.

    the safest thing is to not contact her at all - as you all have said.


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