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Thread: Dating someone that's been to prison

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Not necessarily... do you know how many people have been locked up for having weed? Weed is legal now in many places (and IMO no worse than alcohol) and there are still people with sentences longer than those that have killed someone.

    I probably wouldn't either unless I too spent time in prison and it was clear that we were "birds of a feather."
    This guy was involved in a murder.

    I cannot understand anyone getting involved in a situation like this.

  2. #22
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    Nope. Nope . Nope.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Not for 10 years, unless they were a major dealer. This guy was involved in a murder.
    Yes, I read that he was up for manslaughter. Heck if you cheat on your taxes in a big way you can get more than that. There are lots of people who have gotten 10 years or more for far less than murder/manslaughter. My point was based on what you said "he must have done something serious to have gone to jail for 10 years."

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Stillsingle3
    But why tell me his past, if he hadn't I would of been none the wiser.
    Because you have to invite the vampire in, so to speak. That way, down the line when he's making you tear your hair out with his bad behavior, he can turn around and say, "You knew what you were getting into when you met me." And you will have to admit he is right.

    Originally Posted by jimthzz
    At minimum, get his conviction records without telling him you are doing so. Compare those with what he tells you of himself.
    Agreed!!

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  6. #25
    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I would not meet him - he's a stranger and it's not like you two have mutual friends where you can find out information from sources other than him (and a background check). If he was in for 10 years then obviously it was something serious and also will affect his employment opportunities, etc. We "all have a past" makes no sense - it depends what is in the person's past and what your level of interaction will be - you are thinking of potentially dating this person and having him involved with you in your life, romantically. Why take the chance?
    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    It would depend on what he served time for.

    If he killed someone in a car accident for example and served time for manslaughter (max 20 years, 10 years out on parole), to me that's forgivable. Murder, pedophilia, no effing way.

    There are people who have really turned their lives around in prison, become educated, read lots of books, done a lot of introspection and self-reflection and actually come out better people than they were before serving time.

    So I wouldn't rule it out, again it would depend on many factors.

    OP, can you provide more context?
    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Because maybe he's one of those people I described in my post -- who has turned his life around, learned, grown, evolved and is a better person now, than before entering prison.

    As such, he wanted to be HONEST and forthright with you. I actually think that's quite admirable and reflects someone, should you choose to continue dating him, you could trust.
    It's a tricky one. He could of easily not told me. He still has to go for a probation meeting every 6 months and this is the last year, I think I need more details on exactly what went on.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    This guy was involved in a murder.

    I cannot understand anyone getting involved in a situation like this.
    Manslaughter is not the same as murder, Holly. Manslaughter is the unintentional act of killing another, murder is the intentional act killing of another.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Yes, I read that he was up for manslaughter. Heck if you cheat on your taxes in a big way you can get more than that. There are lots of people who have gotten 10 years or more for far less than murder/manslaughter. My point was based on what you said "he must have done something serious to have gone to jail for 10 years."
    I agree.

    she knows that he was involved in a murder. I don't understand the thinking.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    "You have to invite the vampire in." Love the analogy.

  10. #29
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Stillsingle3
    As the title says really, what would you do?.
    I won't be popular for saying this but I would never date someone who has gone to prison and I don't care what they went in for either. Absolutely no. And manslaughter?? No way in hell.

    I really want to meet him
    How did you get in touch with this guy in the first place? Are you writing to guys in prison?

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Manslaughter is not the same as murder, Holly. Manslaughter is the unintentional act of killing another, murder is the intentional act killing of another.
    Do you know how many are pleaded down to a lesser charge for a conviction. Manslaughter would be enough for me.

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