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Thread: Dating someone that's been to prison

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Stillsingle3
    Yes it was serious.
    I totally get what your saying. But why tell me his past, if he hadn't I would of been none the wiser.
    What does it matter! he did hard time. C'mon woman, why are your partner expectations so low?

    What did he do?

  2. #12
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    At minimum, get his conviction records without telling him you are doing so. Compare those with what he tells you of himself.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member katrina1980's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Stillsingle3
    I totally get what your saying. But why tell me his past, if he hadn't I would of been none the wiser.
    Because maybe he's one of those people I described in my post -- who has turned his life around, learned, grown, evolved and is a better person now, than before entering prison.

    As such, he wanted to be HONEST and forthright with you. I actually think that's quite admirable and reflects someone, should you choose to continue dating him, you could trust.

  4. #14
    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I would not meet him - he's a stranger and it's not like you two have mutual friends where you can find out information from sources other than him (and a background check). If he was in for 10 years then obviously it was something serious and also will affect his employment opportunities, etc. We "all have a past" makes no sense - it depends what is in the person's past and what your level of interaction will be - you are thinking of potentially dating this person and having him involved with you in your life, romantically. Why take the chance?
    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    It would depend on what he served time for.

    If he killed someone in a car accident for example and served time for manslaughter (max 20 years, 10 years out on parole), to me that's forgivable. Murder, pedophilia, no effing way.

    There are people who have really turned their lives around in prison, become educated, read lots of books, done a lot of introspection and self-reflection and actually come out better people than they were before serving time.

    So I wouldn't rule it out, again it would depend on many factors.

    OP, can you provide more context?
    It was manslaughter, not him personally but he was with a friend who killed someone and he went down for it as well.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Stillsingle3
    It was manslaughter, not him personally but he was with a friend who killed someone and he went down for it as well.
    Uh yeah, no. The only way he'd be put away for 10 years for manslaughter is if he was an accessory. Blaming it all on his friend. Nice.

    So many guys to swipe right on.....swipe left on this one.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by Stillsingle3
    It was manslaughter, not him personally but he was with a friend who killed someone and he went down for it as well.
    No way. I'm sure it was also pleaded down.

    He probably told you, because you would find out anyway, through friends etc....

    Do you usually go for losers like this?

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Stillsingle3
    It was manslaughter, not him personally but he was with a friend who killed someone and he went down for it as well.
    People who get convicted of manslaughter and after 10 years tell you essentially it wasn't their fault, generally are not to be trusted.

    Pass.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member katrina1980's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Stillsingle3
    It was manslaughter, not him personally but he was with a friend who killed someone and he went down for it as well.
    Forgivable, imo. Even if he was the driver would be forgivable (for me), assuming he had learned, grown and evolved from it, and become a better person.

    And the fact he told you about it is a big plus in my book (see my last post, no. 13).

    That said, I am not the one dating him. How do you feel about it? That is really all that matters.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Stillsingle3
    It was manslaughter, not him personally but he was with a friend who killed someone and he went down for it as well.
    Right. Do you know that from him or from a background check? He obviously was involved more than just being a witness. He didn't "go down for it" - he committed a felony that involved someone dying and he served many years for it. If he was innocent and wrongly convicted he would have told you what he did to try to make things right. But he didn't -and most likely because he wasn't just "there".

    If you've never met him and do not know anyone who knows him well I would move along and stay away. Not worth the risk. At all.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    If he was in there for such a long period, he did something very serious.
    Not necessarily... do you know how many people have been locked up for having weed? Weed is legal now in many places (and IMO no worse than alcohol) and there are still people with sentences longer than those that have killed someone.

    Is the man supply so low in your area that you want to date an ex con? I would not go forward with this.
    I probably wouldn't either unless I too spent time in prison and it was clear that we were "birds of a feather."

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