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Thread: Mommyís boy?

  1. #21
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jaqueline24
    My boyfriends mother can be very manipulating. Gosh I didnít want to have to go into this but.. she can control his decisions easily especially since he was a kid. So I kind of get where he gets that from.. wanting her advice and input on everything and anything. Thanks for sharing your story! And when it comes to what she says, itís usually always something that I can agree on and probably wouldíve said myself if he didnít ask her (except for the hospital thing)
    okay.. so ya.. his mom is a lot like my parents. overbearing, stubborn, manipulative (my parents are extremely passive-aggressive).
    like others said - don't get in the middle of it. he'll outgrow it someday (will see he needs to). you CAN gently nudge that idea but be very careful - ti can easily be manipulated into you're putting yourself betwen them.
    I wish my fiancee back then would have sat me down and said, "hey.. 'im not criticizing you. i understand why you do this now that i understand your parents. but you understand that at some point... it has to be about us and what we want.. and not about what your parents want right? at some point you will need to figre out a way to transition from that for your own good... i'll be here to help you with that when you're ready... "

    so maybe at some point that's something you can do for him so he can finally find the nerve and feel supported and not alone in becoming his own man at some point.

  2. #22
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    This is exactly what I need to read! Thanks! I definitely donít want to come in between because I do love his family. Iíll have a talk with him and let him know that Iím here too and I want to help out as well

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by limichelle
    I remember going to the ER to have emergency Gallbladder surgery and everyone it seemed in the waiting room had a cold/flu. Not only did I end up having emergency surgery I ended up catching a cold on top of it! So going to the ER if you have a cold is a pet peeve of mine. I can see where your frustration lies there OP.

    I do agree with however that reaching out to his mom for advice is more normal then you think. You will always need some guidance from them no matter how old you get.
    It is unbelievable. WE wait for HOURS for a legitimate concern!!!! Really selfish! Why don't people use Urgent Care!
    Last edited by Hollyj; 01-10-2019 at 02:07 PM.

  4. #24
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jaqueline24
    This is exactly what I need to read! Thanks! I definitely donít want to come in between because I do love his family. Iíll have a talk with him and let him know that Iím here too and I want to help out as well
    awesome! good luck! let us know how it goes.
    i'm pretty sure he's been ready to do this FOREVER.. but never saw a path to get there.
    knowing that you get it, support him, don't want to come between them.... i'm sure he'll jump at it. If not, he'll probably admit you are right but isn't ready yet.. but one day he will be.

    Best of luck!

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  6. #25
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    oh one last thing.

    Realize that "your help" may end up being just understanding, being patient, and be there to support him. it very well may not be able to be anything more than that (for risk of looking like you're getting in between them). Trust me, he'd want to protect you too (I would have).
    And it may take a LONG TIME. So another part is.. an important part is... just make sure he always knows that he can come to you and talk about it any time and you'll be supportive bla bla bla.

    its somethign most likely HE will have to do himself. Taht's just as important as the result.

  7. #26
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I still call my mom when I am sick. I am 52. No one cares like your mom. Love between a parent and child and between significant others....completely different.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    One thing to consider, if he calls his Mum for advice on most things now, it isnt going to stop once you are married.
    Just something to think about.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Are you serious??
    You cheated on him.

    I have been engaged for 3 months now. Weíve been together for over 2 years. Well last weekend I went out with my best friend. He was okay with it, he even suggested me to get out and have fun, so I went bar hopping with her. Well, I ended up drinking a lot and danced with this group of friends that we made. There was this guy who introduced himself to me. He was very flirty and nice. He and I hung out while my best friend went off dancing with some other people. This guy and I made out a lot. We did not have sex or anything like that, just made out. He invited me over to his place after but I denied and said I had to go back home. He put his number in my phone and eventually found my Snapchat and added me. Heís messaged me a few times asking if i was going to go back. I didnít reply. Do I tell my fiancť this? Heís asked how it went and all I said was it was a fun time... deep down I feel bad. I donít think he would break up with me since it was just kissing but still.. Iím nervous to confess. I would be upset if it was him and some girl. Ugh.. :/ What do yíall think?
    I don't know how him asking his mom for advice compares. I think he asks her rather than you because he doesn't trust you or your judgement...do you blame him??

  10. #29
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Read her back story people...she's got far more problems with how she treats her boyfriend than the other way around.

  11. 01-12-2019, 01:46 AM
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    Troll

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