Family feels entitled to my inheritance

[dias]

I hear ya. Yes, my sister and I have different dads, so I am my dads only child. I only have one sister, so she is the same one that I donated to her church. She asked me to do that. I also bought my niece and nephew new phones, and I pay their phone bill. In my honest opinion, I feel I have done enough. If I give her a few hundred, she’s going to be in the same situation next month, needing more.

250K is not a lot of money. Don't waste it without a reason. I am all about helping family but you shouldn't enabling you sister. If she is not using the money to change her current financial situation there is no point giving her money again.

[boltnrun]

So how do you know she's mad at you for not giving her money when you say she doesn't ask for money? Where did the "You reap what you sow, Mom's moving down to help out" come from if she didn't ask for money?

[j.man]

You shouldn't be paying bills or waiting for them to come ask to help. It's needlessly patronizing. So is telling a sibling asking for help to "go drive for Uber." Help or don't help. If you don't want to, stick to "no." Again, your money and no wrong decision. But if you are going to, give a lump sum and be done with it. Don't lord over their phone bills or wait for them to come to you with their hands out.

It seems your sold, and perhaps justifiably. Just tell her, "Hey, it's my $250,000 that fell onto my lap. Not yours." That'll shut her up.

[Hollyj]

She can't find any job?

No more money. Your father left it to you. She also sounds very unappreciative. How old are her kids?

[JessicaAllen]

Because she’s expecting me to volunteer to help. She thought by telling me that they’re struggling, I would automatically say “let me help you, how much do you need?” So all of the comments she has made has stemmed from me not volunteering.

[Hollyj]

""Hey, it's my $250,000 that fell onto my lap. Not yours." That'll shut her up." LOL!

[Hollyj]

I agree. Your inheritance is not a lot of money. You should be saving for your future. I'm certain that this is what your father wanted.

Stop paying for her kids phones.

[boltnrun]

Because she’s expecting me to volunteer to help. She thought by telling me that they’re struggling, I would automatically say “let me help you, how much do you need?” So all of the comments she has made has stemmed from me not volunteering.

She should "expect" herself to get a job. Her husband too.

How ridiculous to have children and expect someone else to support them.

[DancingFool]

So she is out of work and now her husband is too and they were both laid off. She won't come out and ask directly, but basically they are up a creek at the moment and they have no history of asking for help before. Meaning when they were employed or at least one employed, they made do. So I really don't get your attitude and this fixation that somehow they are after your inheritance. That's quite a leap.

This is where I have to agree with jmann that you need to do whatever your personal conscience dictates and either help out a bit or just don't. But don't patronize, lecture, or tell them to drive for Uber.

[reinventmyself]

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