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Thread: Help with a Holiday email message please

  1. #1

    Help with a Holiday email message please

    I received an email from my ex boyfriend (7 years) during Thanksgiving and Christmas. He moved out when i returned from an overseas military deployment - he was supportive but grew very angry in my absence that I volunteered to deploy. His adult children, daughter especially, re-engaged with him during my absence and encouraged him to leave me. They were angry and mostly cut ties with him when he began a relationship with me (live-in). He became regretful after moving out but I was too shocked and hurt to respond to any attempts to see him and soon separated items. It was a very dignified and decent separation.

    I believe he has begun a new relationship with a female that lives out of the area (based on a comment made by a mutual friend a just gut feeling). It is likely a rebound relationship to fill the void - he suffered with loneliness while I was gone - more than I knew at the time. I began No Contact during thanksgiving after receiving a thanksgiving text but no respectful call. When I called him he did not answer and this was a change for me.

    For Christmas he sent:
    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
    My phone crashed, and I lost 75% of my contact information. That's why you didn't get a Merry Christmas earlier. Sorry.
    I hope you had a nice Christmas.

    How is George (my son-they were close)? Your mom?

    My thoughts are his phone did NOT crash but rather he may have removed my number at the request of someone else. He HAD to contact me via email to be descrete.

    would you agree? I am in NC mainly for myself-so I can take time to assess me and move forward. I accept the breakup and have just a small hope of reconciling - if we were both better down the road.

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    I would just accept this as over. I am sorry. I would not contact him again, ever.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Wilds of Texas
    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    I would just accept this as over. I am sorry. I would not contact him again, ever.
    ^This. I would not respond and leave it at that. You just weren't right for each other and nothing is going to change in that regard going forward. Since you two parted nicely, then leave it at that and don't muddy it up with bread crumbs or on/off drama. Head high and eyes forward into the future.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Agreed... don't respond, don't engage, he behaved immaturely when you made a decision to go after what you wanted... not to mention his children for whatever reason didn't want you around... then he makes some lame a$$ excuse about why he is sending you an email (you are most likely right about his being in a relationship from the sounds of it)

    The guy is being shady AF right now and trying to hook you back in to what would probably end up being a complicated and difficult relationship. Stay NC and look for someone that supports you and your life goals and isn't afraid of an independent woman.


  6. #5
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    i disagree with everybody else here. let' break this down.

    1. I think it's wrong to assume that he lied about a phone crash. After all, how does it make sense that he would come up with a lie, yet still contacts you? If he were trying to get rid of you - he woudln't contact you! So why contact you and tell a lie? This makes ZERO sense to me. Especially there is a LOT of malware, hacking, viruses that people attempt to send out DURING the holidays SPECIFICALLY so that is exactly the time of year most viruses hit. Also the most likely time people decide to replace their phones for newer shinier stuff that just makes their old/current phones "seem outdated" and thus the easy monikker of "it crashed" is often used. (i'm in IT.. trust me on this).

    2. As i said before, if he were trying to get rid of you, then why would he contact you in the end and then ASK about you, your son? This does not seem like the actions of somebody trying to brush you off right? Now it also may NOT be "let's get together again" but more of an olive branch and make things right and then "who knows after that." The golden rule here is: if he's in another relationship then he is hands-off and you respect fully this other relationship. In fact you may wwant to dial-back how involved you guys get when talking, out of respect for his current relationsihp. But it's absolutely okay to stay in touch and be cordial and friendly.

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make sure you are doing what you need to do for you so you can get over him and you yourself are not REBOUNDING .. and most importantly,..... REBOUDING with him if this develops further.

    Good luck!

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