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Thread: Cause for concern or am I over reacting?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Also keep in mind that there are religious men that won't have sex with their future wife before marriage but will indulge with random women or prostitutes and in some cultures this type of cheating is accepted. But what worries me more is him guilt tripping and lying through his teeth regardless of who these women are. Wake up.

  2. #12
    Thank you to all who replied to this thread with helpful and valuable advice. I think I will slow things down and then see what to do with him.
    I am not getting a good feeling from this as he is changing his story around.
    Now he is angry at the 'enemy' as he calls it which is the supposed friend now turned phone shop owner that set up the phone that he bought from him. I find it odd a shop owner would set up his instagram account and start following prostitutes and liking their pictures - that makes no sense.
    Then he went one step further and said to me that he can't trust me now as I don't trust him - he asked me what happens if a photo surfaces one day of him and a girl and he tells me he was never with the girl but it was photoshopped, he says he knows it would damage us as i would believe the image rather than what he is telling me.
    The guy is starting to sound like a narcissist.
    He is also taking his anger out on the friend/shop owner by saying he is going to beat him up or smash his car for doing this to him.
    What also worried me is that he said he doesn't use Instagram as apparently he doesn't know how to use it. Then he said he uses it only for a minute or 2 a day. Then he says he uses it to call people. Then he was pointing out some of the girls he followed as he liked their posts but they are 'good' girls.
    I asked who he was calling on Instagram and he said a male friend but there are no males on his Instagram, only women.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Girl he's lying and obviously grasping for straws to excuse this clinging to any excuse he can get. It doesn't matter what will come up now or whatever crazy story it will be next, like a secret service agent was setting him up or whatever lol. I really hope you're not considering leaving everything for this guy and marrying him after this mess.

    I'd be less concerned if he at least had admitted that he was checking girls out, apologized and had stick to that story. But this is a whole mess. He also sounds dangerous.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by confusedlemo
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. At the moment he is sending me messages telling me that I destroyed him and to make up my mind to drop this siutation or else to leave him.
    I mean he may have just been looking at prostitues online but i find it strange they are all in his area and a lot of them are following him back too on Instagram. Gives me a gut feeling that they may know each other.
    There are a couple of match making sites he follows as well but the majority are all prostitutes.
    Actually this in bold is a huge flashing warning sign that you need to leave him or else you'll be signing up for serious trouble. How he is acting and reacting is a million times more concerning than the fact that he is following prostitutes on social media. I mean if you had asked him and he had simply told you honestly that yes, he looks at that to help himself from time to time, fine. However, pitching such a raging tantrum, pushing the blame on you that you are destroying him and giving you ultimatums - RUN!!!!!!

    Notice also that he in general doesn't take responsibility for his actions. He blamed previous women for allegedly being after his money while making himself out to be a helpless victim. In reality, he doesn't have to give anyone a dime. Gold diggers aren't hard to weed out. He isn't a victim. Most importantly, you don't know if anything he has told you is even true. It likely isn't.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by confusedlemo
    Thank you to all who replied to this thread with helpful and valuable advice. I think I will slow things down and then see what to do with him.
    I am not getting a good feeling from this as he is changing his story around.
    Now he is angry at the 'enemy' as he calls it which is the supposed friend now turned phone shop owner that set up the phone that he bought from him. I find it odd a shop owner would set up his instagram account and start following prostitutes and liking their pictures - that makes no sense.
    Then he went one step further and said to me that he can't trust me now as I don't trust him - he asked me what happens if a photo surfaces one day of him and a girl and he tells me he was never with the girl but it was photoshopped, he says he knows it would damage us as i would believe the image rather than what he is telling me.
    The guy is starting to sound like a narcissist.
    He is also taking his anger out on the friend/shop owner by saying he is going to beat him up or smash his car for doing this to him.
    What also worried me is that he said he doesn't use Instagram as apparently he doesn't know how to use it. Then he said he uses it only for a minute or 2 a day. Then he says he uses it to call people. Then he was pointing out some of the girls he followed as he liked their posts but they are 'good' girls.
    I asked who he was calling on Instagram and he said a male friend but there are no males on his Instagram, only women.
    Wow....the guy is a vindictive psycho. Thank your lucky stars this came out before you married him and moved in with him. There is nothing to slow down here, just get out and get out now. RUUUUUNNNNNN and be sure he doesn't follow you or harm you. Yes, it's that bad.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    I will also add this - a man who will so easily turn on his friend, use him as a scapegoat and call him his enemy......only a matter of short time before he turns on you the same way about something. Beware. This is seriously dangerous territory and once married and there, you might find yourself without a way out.

  8. #17
    Gold Member LC8328's Avatar
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    As usual, you should listen to DancingFool. I am glad you decided to slow things down.
    As far as the misunderstanding of saying "nice a**"..I call BS! I know many people from different cultures and countries, and every single one of them knows how to be polite and respectful.

    I agree that it is a major warning sign that he blames others and does not take responsibility for anything he does. You deserve way better, OP.

    Good luck and please keep us posted.

  9. #18
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    This is a preview of how marriage will be with this man.

    Do you like the preview?

    If not, cancel the wedding plans now.

  10. #19

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    Always go with your gut instinct. ALWAYS. Your intuition will never lead you astray. If youíre feeling uneasy, itís for a reason.

  11. #20
    Thanks again everyone for the additional replies, this is really helping me to get through.
    His lies have gone through a whole new level.

    He told me that he is a Bahrain citizen. He told me since we met that he had a Bahrain passport. Tonight he said that his friend (yes, another friend!!) took out a big loan from the goverment of Bahrain for a business that went wrong in his name and he took off leaving my partner to pay back the loan and so he can no longer use his Bahrain passport any longer. So i asked him how he is traveling around then and he said he was using his fathers nationality passport (Pakistan). This is no issue to me but why lie AGAIN.
    I wonder if he ever had a Bahraini passport, he does live and work there but it seems now he only has a visa to work there and he is not a permanent citizen or passport holder.
    I am so angry with him beyond belief.

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