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Thread: I suck at expressing myself

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jan 2019
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    I suck at expressing myself

    Hoping someone out there can help me out....

    I've been in a complicated situation for a while. I don't want to go into details but the jist of it is that I'm into a guy, but I'm his client I guess. I've tried for a long time to move on from my feelings because I just don't want drama, I don't want to create drama from him. I tried to stop seeing him, I lasted about 6 months till circumstances put me back into his orbit. I think there is something mutual because of the signs I have noticed, and i've been REALLY careful to make sure I'm not reading into it too much.

    I got to a point of accepting my feelings regardless of whether he feels something too, meaning that I'm not after anything from him, but there were major 'vibes' between us recently.... he's been staying back after our appointments to talk about stuff not related to work, and I dunno how to describe it, but when you know someone is into you, you just know. This new level of attention, has made me feel extra strong feelings towards him, cause I'm starting to see just how interesting of a person he is.

    I'm tired of going back and forth with myself about 'being cool' with my feelings and then feeling vulnerable and thinking about the possibility of things progressing.

    I've figured that it isbest for my mental, emotional and physical health to just tell him, rather than hold it in.

    I need help in strategising the best way to do it...Around him i become USELESS when it comes to having a coherent conversation. Literally the last time he was talking about all this music knowledge he has (we both share that interest), and everytime he was telling me about all the stuff he can do/he knows my response was 'awesome'. THAT's ALL I could say.... is wrong with me. I had thoughts and responses that just werent forming. I have such a fear of exposing my feelings to him that I tend not to say a lot, I don't give him much through my words.

    Fear has really gripped me.

    My idea is to tell him I need to talk to him, but don't feel safe doing so 'here' (at his work). My worst fear is he says he doesn't want to meet up with me outside of work (because that means I wont get to tell him). Regardless, I don't know how to define what I feel and how to communicate it.

    I feel really drawn to him, he is interesting to me as a person, and I want to spend more time in getting to know him and being able to open up more to him. It feels like it's something between a crush and being full on inlove at times. I want to not make a big drama of it when I tell him, just want it to be something like "hey, this is how I feel. It makes it hard to keep this client-based relationship going. I'm not asking for anything, though I wouldn't say no to something more. You don't need to respond, but I needed to tell you and be honest."

    The part where I have to describe how I feel is what I'm having trouble with.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
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    What is the business?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Apr 2016
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    You express yourself quite well. What is paralyzing you is this infatuation. Do not blurt out about your crush and do not ask him out. If you are his client, it's inappropriate for him to date you. Try to find men who are single, available, appropriate and are interested in dating you. Why not try dating apps?

    Explore what is missing from your life that compels you to devise this elaborate fantasy where you believe you may be in love with someone who is merely kind, nice, etc and who you see in a professional setting. If this is a psychiatrist or psychologist then you can mention your obsession, since that is common and referred to as transference.
    Originally Posted by LittleMV
    I'm into a guy, but I'm his client. I feel really drawn to him, he is interesting to me as a person, and I want to spend more time in getting to know him and being able to open up more to him. It feels like it's something between a crush and being full on in love at times.

  4. #4
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
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    590
    let this one go. move on.
    You are his client. Of course he's going to be freindly and make you feel important. That's his livelihood!

    let this one go. Change to somebody else if you can't handle it and don't be his client. Maybe then you can tell him. But my guess is - you are misinterpreting his profesisonalism and entrepeneuralism as "interest' and it's not there.

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