Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 5 of 7 FirstFirst ... 234567 LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 64

Thread: Girlfriend sexted a guy she knew from a dating site: Was it cheating?

  1. #41
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    72
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Delete and block her from all social media and messaging apps asap. Stay no contact. Why would you even want contact or worse, take her back? Do you miss the sex?
    Part of me misses her and of course her messaging like this has totally put a spin on things, just when I was beginning to forget about her and move on, now a flood of emotions have come rushing back.

    Naturally I'm wondering why she is even messaging me like this, maybe to play mind games and continue to play the victim and deny it?

    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Oh my god, seriously?

    That is all she is ever going to do is to justify her actions. She feels absolutely no guilt. She thinks she had a right to be involved with this man and that you should look the other way.

    She is an incredibly selfish person.

    Can you not see that?

    Delete/block. Nothing else will work.
    Seriously yes, she did message me!

    I think you are right and if this is all she will do to explain her actions, then that tells me that she is not emotionally mature for a relationship and that is surprising given the fact that she is 42 and not say 22!

    It's all making sense now and the picture becoming clearer with her selfish ways, I knew she was selfish to an extent when I was with her but to blatantly continue like this once I ended it just speaks volumes about her.

  2. #42
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    4,569
    The thing is...you've spent time apart from each other. The relationship has ended. If she had any remorse what so ever, now would be the time.

    She has none.

    She kept his number, she got a hold of him, she allowed him to sext with her and the lied to you about who he was. She enjoyed him.

    I don't think you need loads of people telling you what you should do here.

  3. #43
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    72
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    The thing is...you've spent time apart from each other. The relationship has ended. If she had any remorse what so ever, now would be the time.

    She has none.

    She kept his number, she got a hold of him, she allowed him to sext with her and the lied to you about who he was. She enjoyed him.

    I don't think you need loads of people telling you what you should do here.
    Time apart and not being with your other half is of course going to stunt anyone and you'll start to overthink things and make a lot of decisions etc whilst you have the time and space to analyse. She hasn't shown one shred of remorse in this time for her actions and it is no different to how I confronted her that morning when I discovered the messages on her phone, just the same couldn't care less attitude.

    That is what angered me was not only did she keep his number for the entire time of our relationship, but she lied to me months ago about who he was! She was keeping him essentially as a safety net and now had her cake and eat it. She went out of her way to contact him, she didn't once tell him to stop when he started getting crude and sexual with his messages, when she could and should have told him that she had a boyfriend and to then block and delete his number. This was all entirely voluntary behaviour on he part and premeditated.

  4. #44
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    30,521
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by Depressed
    Part of me misses her and of course her messaging like this has totally put a spin on things

  5.  

  6. #45
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    4,569
    She doesn't feel bad. She's the type of person who can't see that she did anything wrong. It's not her feelings that got hurt, so she truly does not care.

    And you're right, she kept him as a back up, she texted him to make sure he still wanted her. All the while she smiled and lied to your face.

    This is who she is.

    You deserve better, she's never going to change. She thinks she has a right to how she treats people.

  7. #46
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    72
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    She doesn't feel bad. She's the type of person who can't see that she did anything wrong. It's not her feelings that got hurt, so she truly does not care.

    And you're right, she kept him as a back up, she texted him to make sure he still wanted her. All the while she smiled and lied to your face.

    This is who she is.

    You deserve better, she's never going to change. She thinks she has a right to how she treats people.
    Even with evidence presented to her, she still cannot admit what she did was wrong nor show any shred of remorse/compassion to me in return. Instead, I get made to feel like it was my fault - what's that all about?

    If I do wrong, then I always hold my hands up to it and admit it and do what I can to rectify the situation.

    She knew what she was doing the whole time she was messaging him, she thought she'd never be caught and discovered but she was stupid enough to leave her phone that one time next to the bed and as a result I have now exposed her.

    Everyone keeps saying I deserve better, and I know that I do, but part of my wants to try and get her professional help to combat her lying and infidelity - but of course never in a million years would she agree to it because she 'hasn't done anything wrong' according to her.

    If the roles were reversed, then by heck as like sure she would be spitting feathers at me and calling me all the names under the sun!

  8. #47
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    4,569
    You can't force someone to be what you want them to be.

    I think that's the hardest part of breaking up, you can see the good parts in this person but you can't deny the bad. You want them to desperately be the person you thought they were, but no matter what you do...they just aren't.

    You know she won't ever admit fault. She doesn't see it as bad. She wanted her cake and to eat it too and she has no bad feelings over it.

    If she truly loved you and respected you, she would have gotten rid of that guy long long time ago. She didn't. That should tell you something loud and clear.

    If you stay with her or go back to her, she will cheat again. She likes other mens attentions besides yours.
    It's a sad fact you can't deny.

    The only thing you can do now is come to terms with it all and let it go. It is going to be hard, but she will never be what you need.

  9. #48
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    72
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    You can't force someone to be what you want them to be.

    I think that's the hardest part of breaking up, you can see the good parts in this person but you can't deny the bad. You want them to desperately be the person you thought they were, but no matter what you do...they just aren't.

    You know she won't ever admit fault. She doesn't see it as bad. She wanted her cake and to eat it too and she has no bad feelings over it.

    If she truly loved you and respected you, she would have gotten rid of that guy long long time ago. She didn't. That should tell you something loud and clear.

    If you stay with her or go back to her, she will cheat again. She likes other mens attentions besides yours.
    It's a sad fact you can't deny.

    The only thing you can do now is come to terms with it all and let it go. It is going to be hard, but she will never be what you need.
    It's all part of the honeymoon stage wearing off in my opinion, you start to see what a person is really like after that stage. That's when the notable flaws become apparent etc. and can be a tester to decide on whether you can put up with it or not.

    I do know that she will never change, she is who she is and is set in her ways - her true nature has now been revealed. She wasn't mature enough to talk to me about the supposed 'problems' and therefore resorted to the cowards way out of it by sneaking behind my back. She didn't expect to be caught though. She has no conscience, otherwise she would have put a stop to her seedy behaviour.

    You are spot on, if she did love me as she said she did, then yes she would be told this guy to do one long ago. That tells me that she is untrustworthy, she's a liar, she's deceptive and she is selfish.

  10. #49
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    10,096
    So...why haven't you blocked her?

    No, blocking isn't "immature" or "harsh" or "unnecessary".

    Despite all the evidence you have of her unsavory nature, do you still hold onto hope you two will reconcile? Because if not, I see absolutely no reason to keep the lines of communication open.

  11. #50
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    72
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    So...why haven't you blocked her?

    No, blocking isn't "immature" or "harsh" or "unnecessary".

    Despite all the evidence you have of her unsavory nature, do you still hold onto hope you two will reconcile? Because if not, I see absolutely no reason to keep the lines of communication open.
    I haven't blocked her because I simply can't bring myself to just yet. Plus I still have some of my things to collect from her house.

    If I were to block her then of course that would aid the moving on process, but for now I can't do that.

    There is a small part of me that wants to reconcile, BUT it would have to be entirely on my terms with her seeking professional therapy if required. On the other hand, part of me doesn't want to get back with her because I now know her true nature and it's the ugly side of her which I don't like. In a nutshell, I know deep down that I need to cut her out of my life completely, but for now it's easier said than done. And I know I ain't helping myself that way.

Page 5 of 7 FirstFirst ... 234567 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •