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Thread: Girlfriend sexted a guy she knew from a dating site: Was it cheating?

  1. #21
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    Of course she will tell you that you are wrong because you looked at her phone, because she did not exlect to get caught and you DID catch her. It IS cheating... you just caught her in the early stage. If this did not happen now she would've kept texting this guy until she got comfortable enough to procede to the next stage and actually meet up in person. I believe that people who do not cheat do not engage in sexual conversations like the one your gf had while they are in a relationship with someone.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Yes it's cheating. And according to your other thread you should've dumped her much sooner and even if she hadn't sexted this guy.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I think she was far more wrong.

    I see it this way, we are the only ones who can keep ourselves safe when it comes to being cheated on. If they are going to lie and carry on than what other choice do you have then to look at their phone?

    She's a snake, not only did she keep this guy around, she was sexting with him and the lied to you as to whom he was.
    You did right in dumping her.
    She has very little honesty and didn't love you if this is how she behaves with other men.

    Let her go be someone else's problem.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Honeycomb8
    He wasn't an old bf, prob was someone she's never met before. Also, not shutting down someone when they are saying they wanna eff you and entertaining it is wrong.

    Pretty basic common sense clearly.
    Yes. No way of turning it around. A decline would've been deleting and blocking at first signs of flirting (since they're not even friends) or a firm "this is inappropriate, I have a boyfriend. Stop. Bye"

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  6. #25
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    You did nothing wrong by snooping. If anyone here was in the same situation, they would have done it also.

    Cheaters don't deserve any respect for their privacy as they have betrayed the core foundation that relationships are built on.

    I lived with a serial cheater for 20 years and with her last (exit) affair I hired a private detective, hacked her email, recorded her phone conversions, told an elaborate lie to her mobile phone company to get her call logs, took her phone while she was sleeping to gather evidence and even followed her discretely when she was going for a secret hook up.... I don't regret anything I did and would do it again if faced with another cheater.

    The evidence I gathered contributed to getting full custody of my children, keeping our family home and getting a far group greater percentage from our divorce settlement.

    When it comes to cheaters, you need to be smart, cunning and do whatever it takes to protect yourself, or they will walk all over you.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by Jennifer2018
    From what you said, she didnt sext him. "she said to him 'can't rush it just now' and then he said so when are we gonna do it and she said 'not straight away."
    Thats a nice decline.
    She texted an old boyfriend. Its not nice, but not the end of the world.
    Sounds like its over anyway... so time to let it go and move on.
    Sorry, but that to me is sexting and cheating on someone responding in the way that she did.

    I caught her out and was amazed when she tried to turn it round and blame me for the whole thing.

    Originally Posted by Honeycomb8
    He wasn't an old bf, prob was someone she's never met before. Also, not shutting down someone when they are saying they wanna eff you and entertaining it is wrong.

    Pretty basic common sense clearly.
    You're right. It was someone she had apparently been chatting to on a dating site (before she met me on there) and she had kept his number the whole time that she was with me which I don't understand why - safety net perhaps? She told me that she hasn't met him or even spoken to him on the phone - I'm not sure I believe her.

    Exactly, she could and should have said to him that she had a boyfriend and that she is not interested, bye bye. Block him and delete his number.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by Tovin
    Of course she will tell you that you are wrong because you looked at her phone, because she did not exlect to get caught and you DID catch her. It IS cheating... you just caught her in the early stage. If this did not happen now she would've kept texting this guy until she got comfortable enough to procede to the next stage and actually meet up in person. I believe that people who do not cheat do not engage in sexual conversations like the one your gf had while they are in a relationship with someone.
    You are right, she is angry because I caught her out unexpectedly PLUS the fact that she knows deep down that what she did was wrong. It hurts like hell her cheating but I know that I had to dump her because staying with her would be condoning her behaviour.

    Originally Posted by Annia
    Yes it's cheating. And according to your other thread you should've dumped her much sooner and even if she hadn't sexted this guy.
    Why do you say that, is it because she was a flaky person?

  9. #28
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Stop looking for more reasons to justify dumping her, you already have more than enough.

    Searching for reasons is common but you need to accept that she is a cheater and this is what cheaters do. Classic cheater is to try and turn it back on you and make you the bad person. Rarely is a time when a cheater says "You caught me, I was totally wrong, uncaring, selfish and didn't give you a second thought when I was doing this, this is in no way your fault I am just a horrible person to be in a relationship with"

    Now she can start dating this other dude and he can be burned by her too. Karma perhaps?

    Take some time to heal and then get back out there.

    Lost

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Agree. It doesn't even matter what you want to call this but she's garbage material, not girlfriend material.
    Originally Posted by lostandhurt
    Stop looking for more reasons to justify dumping her, you already have more than enough.

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    I think she was far more wrong.

    I see it this way, we are the only ones who can keep ourselves safe when it comes to being cheated on. If they are going to lie and carry on than what other choice do you have then to look at their phone?

    She's a snake, not only did she keep this guy around, she was sexting with him and the lied to you as to whom he was.
    You did right in dumping her.
    She has very little honesty and didn't love you if this is how she behaves with other men.

    Let her go be someone else's problem.
    Very good advice there. When I look back on the relationship now, I do see that she didn't care and this was something that I foolishly overlooked.

    If only she had had the decency to at least tell me that she wasn't happy before cheating on me, I could have dumped her sooner and without the hurtful and painful implications done by her actions.

    A leopard never changes their spots as the saying goes, and neither does this filthy sl*t.

    Originally Posted by Annia
    Yes. No way of turning it around. A decline would've been deleting and blocking at first signs of flirting (since they're not even friends) or a firm "this is inappropriate, I have a boyfriend. Stop. Bye"
    Exactly, but the thought never occurred to her. Me, me, me and all about her needs and to hell with how I might have felt.

    Originally Posted by Matt0050
    You did nothing wrong by snooping. If anyone here was in the same situation, they would have done it also.

    Cheaters don't deserve any respect for their privacy as they have betrayed the core foundation that relationships are built on.

    I lived with a serial cheater for 20 years and with her last (exit) affair I hired a private detective, hacked her email, recorded her phone conversions, told an elaborate lie to her mobile phone company to get her call logs, took her phone while she was sleeping to gather evidence and even followed her discretely when she was going for a secret hook up.... I don't regret anything I did and would do it again if faced with another cheater.

    The evidence I gathered contributed to getting full custody of my children, keeping our family home and getting a far group greater percentage from our divorce settlement.

    When it comes to cheaters, you need to be smart, cunning and do whatever it takes to protect yourself, or they will walk all over you.
    You are right, if it means doing your own detective work to expose a cheater then so be it.

    She is just angry that I exposed her, caught her and brought her filthy little affair to light.

    I had the last laugh by dumping her filthy a*s. She clearly didn't respect, care about or love me if she did such a hurtful thing.

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