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Thread: Girlfriend sexted a guy she knew from a dating site: Was it cheating?

  1. #1
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    Girlfriend sexted a guy she knew from a dating site: Was it cheating?

    My girlfriend of 7 months who is 8yrs older than me have split up because I caught her Whatsapping a guy who she met on a dating website (where we met each other) recently and what turned from friendly chat, became sexting.

    It turns out she has saved his number all this time (why I don't know) as she says she is just 'friends' with him. I'd noticed his name in her phone months ago when she asked me to check her doctors surgery number and I asked who he was and she said that it was someone she )used to go to school with (which is a blatant lie!)

    She texted him first last week asking how he was and he replied saying fine etc which seemed innocent at first. Then he said that he had always wanted her and wanted to 'f*ck her so much'. She replied do you actually and how much do you want me?

    He knew she was with me because of her Whatsapp profile photo of the two of us.

    This sort of talk went on for a bit until he said 'do you want me?' and she replied 'just sex?' He said yeah, then she said to him 'can't rush it just now' and then he said so when are we gonna do it and she said 'not straight away.'

    I only unlocked her phone because I had a feeling/suspician that she was texting someone behind my back due to her Whatsapp last seen times changing very frequently (when she hardly used it prior to this other than to text me.)

    If I hadn't had unlocked her phone (which I know was wrong) then I don't think she would ever have told me that she was texting this guy. I caught her and she kept saying that I have crossed a line by doing this......a bit hypocritical since she first engaged in flirty/sexual texting and essentially emotionally cheated on me behind my back!

    She has said that I have betrayed her trust, which yes I have, but she in turn has done the same to me because she betrayed me first.

    I told her we are done and she didn't seem too bothered actually.

    Yes, things haven't been great between us, but we have got past rocky patches in the relationship.

    Do you think I am wrong to have looked at her phone or was she wrong to have an emotional affair behind my back?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
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    You’re both wrong, but she’s more wrong.

    Regardless, the relationship is clearly over (as it should be), so best to focus your energy on moving on.

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    Originally Posted by indea08
    You’re both wrong, but she’s more wrong.

    Regardless, the relationship is clearly over (as it should be), so best to focus your energy on moving on.
    I won't tolerate someone cheating on me, so that is the reason I decided to give her the boot.

    I'm still hurt and in shock aside from that.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Indea put it succinctly. Personally, I'm firmly against snooping. Once you've gotten to that point, the trust is gone anyway. And even in the best of cases, you've set for yourself a bad precedent that your emotional security rides on that invasion and verification.

    But people are people and they'll what they'll do. What I have said is that if you're gonna snoop, you'd better hope any sin you discover is worse than the one you're committing. Turns out you gambled and "won." She was in no position turning it around on you with all that egg on her face.

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    Originally Posted by j.man
    What I have said is that if you're gonna snoop, you'd better hope any sin you discover is worse than the one you're committing. Turns out you gambled and "won." She was in no position turning it around on you with all that egg on her face.
    Exactly, I believe that this is a classic cheater move by deflecting the blame onto the victim.

    I didn't hold myself accountable for her actions (cheating is an action not just a choice) and she knew what she was doing and that is was wrong but still chose to go ahead.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You did the right thing dumping her. How old is she?

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    You did the right thing dumping her. How old is she?
    She is 42 and old enough to know better.

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    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    to get back to the actual question and to not start being judgemental about it....

    Is sexting with somebody other than your current s/o "cheating"?
    In my book yes it is.

    My rule is - if you wouldn't do it in front of your s/o, it's cheating.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by thisisrichey
    My rule is - if you wouldn't do it in front of your s/o, it's cheating.
    what about when I eat cold chef boyarde out of the can while my lady is at conferences

  11. #10
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    what about when I eat cold chef boyarde out of the can while my lady is at conferences
    As the rule goes: would you eat a cold chef boyarde out of the can in your lady's presence?

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