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Thread: Looking to not only change jobs but move out of state. Advice?

  1. #1
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2016

    Looking to not only change jobs but move out of state. Advice?

    I have been at my current job a little less than 2 years and things have gone downhill in the past 8-10 months. My role has seemed to plateau, it doesn't seem like there's room for growth and we have lost a lot of great team members and replaced them with less than stellar ones.

    All of this has led me to a deep depression and caused me to stress eat to the point I have gained almost 30 lbs and at the heaviest I have ever been (240). Yet when I mention it, everyone seems to just say, you like fine!

    Last summer I visited both Raleigh, NC and Atlanta, GA and got the urge to move south (I currently live in MA). The reasons why would be due to milder winters, cheaper cost of living and still lots of opportunities in marketing and tech which is my current job occupation. While leaving MA would mean moving away from my family, a lot of my closest friends moved south to either GA or FL to pursue careers or attend law school. My current group of friends that are still living in MA have been a bit of a drag. They tend to just complain about politics and either drink at someones house or at the same couple of bars on the weekends.

    I personally feel that I need a change in my lifestyle and be around people that will help me grow. While I like my friends, I just feel like things are stale and while they are content with living at their parents house and living the same lifestyle, I want to do something different.

    I posted in here awhile ago (2 years almost) when my dad passed away. It obviously has had an effect on me and is making me realize I am not guranteed a certain amount of time on earth and I want to make more of it than what I currently am.

    Also, quick background, I am 30, no wife/kids, no debts, good credit and could have done a better job at saving money but have over 20k saved up currently.

    Sorry for the long prelude, but here is my actual question.

    Has anyone here gone through the process of applying for jobs out of state? Did you move without a job in line? Or did you wait until you had a job lined up?

    I would like to move with something in line, but the more I wait and am stuck in this toxic and dull work environment, I feel like I will be more anxious to just take the chance and see what happens. My gut is telling me that this is a bad idea but at the same time I have read too many articles and advice blogs about the pros and cons of either taking the leap or doing the smart thing that at this point I don't know which to believe.

    Any other tips on how to make this happen based on your experiences would be a huge help.

    To anyone who read all of this, thank you! And if there is anything I can clarify, I would be more than willing to answer.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Ontario Canada
    I say you need to move to wherever you want to move. I have not moved provinces but I have moved hours away from where I was born to another area, and then moved 3 times after that, also hours away in another direction. Each time we did not have jobs to go to, but we did have money saved to keep us going until one of us got a job. We lived a long time in each new area before heading off again, for various reasons.

    We get one go-round on this planet and we all need to make the best of whatever time we have here. You are clearly unhappy where you are, so it's time to do something about it. There's a million cliches like nothing ventured, nothing gained and that's very true. Sitting around thinking about it for years will make you that much older, and probably still unhappy. Do it while you are young, no kids or encumbrances to slow you down. Make sure you have enough money to hold you over til you find a job.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    central Florida
    My cousins and their children were in a similar environment in Massachusetts where drinking was the main pastime. Several of them are now sober, including one of them who moved to North Carolina, where she loves it and created a happy new life for herself. This inspired her male cousin to also move there. He applied for a job before he got there.

    Why not start applying for jobs in your target locations and see what happens? It'll be less stressful to have a job lined up before you move. If nobody is hiring in those cities, you might try the surrounding cities. Moving away from family is fine because you can always visit and communicate. When I was a Navy wife, my mother said she was happy to be able to visit so many new places. Good luck in starting a new chapter of your life.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    I moved with a job lined up and they paid for my relo. Flying home is a lot cheaper than staying stuck in an expensive place. I have no regrets and my new city has more opportunities.


  6. #5
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Wilds of Texas
    Pragmatic advice is use some of your sick/vacation time for long weekends and go visit specific cities you want to potentially move to. In other words, before you jump, be sure you will actually like it there. New is always exciting, but try to set that aside and really look at the reality of it. Check out different areas, look at the actual apartments you might want to rent, neighborhoods, what's actually there to do, etc. Basically take a good look at what living there would actually be like for you.

    Also, instead of wasting time reading blogs, start applying for jobs in the areas you might want to move to. Tech jobs tend to be easier to apply to from wherever you happen to be unlike other professions. So you don't necessarily need to be local, just be ready to fly down for an in person interview at a moment's notice and actually put that into a cover letter that you are mobile and can start the job quickly if hired. It will help you overcome any out of state bias. Too often employers will opt for a local candidate only because they don't want to provide moving expenses and because they want the person to start the job yesterday. So if you alleviate those concerns, you might be able to get the job secured quickly. Anyway, you don't know until you try.

    If the above doesn't work, then you'll have to rethink and maybe take the chance to move down without a job lined up. However, that should be your back up plan and not your first choice.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    A lot depends on your profession and your career level. My wife is currently in the process of looking for work out of the state to get us closer to either her or my family. She's gotten a few offers so far, all of which have included a relocation or catch-all allowance. As a contractor, I could, should, and certainly would make contacts out of state, provide credentials, talk rates, etc. just to get my foot in some doors, but that's the extent of the benefit. "Hit us up whenever you've moved here."

    After I got out of the Army, I picked up and moved state-to-state about 7 times in 8 years with no job lined up in any of those occasions, but also willing to take anything once I got there, only having a car-full of possessions, and enough cash to put in a deposit on whatever awful apartment would let me in the next day with no credit check. Ended up working out each time, but even in an exponentially better career and financial position now, it's not something I'd do again at 30+ without something lined up and being able to transition comfortably to a location I was familiar with and confident in. But hey, a lot of folks do it and manage. My advice would be to be as thorough and picky and to take as much time with it as your sanity permits if you're truly set on getting out of Dodge.

  8. #7
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    I wouldn’t blame living in Mass the reason why your friends’ (and your cousins Audrina) favorite pastime is drinking, that’s probably just your friends. Plus, living in a cold climate, during the winter, you want to be indoors and tend it to do outside activities as much like you would in warmer climates. People tend to be “happier” living in warmer climates, so you should go for it. Take some time to job search beforehand. Since you have friends that live down there, you can stay with them while you job search.

  9. #8
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    I've been trying and wanting to leave the Bay Area for a number of years now for very similar reasons as you - cost of living, somethign new, plateau at my job. etc. etc. etc. So here is what I've learned and my tips:

    Don't quit your job just yet
    You have a lot of research to do - which.. in this case is exciting and fun. you have an open canvas as to what and where you get to go next. So have FUN with it and doing the research of different places to narrow it down on potential landing spots (I'll explain why later). Hopefully this "research project" will re-invigorate you and help with the stress and fitness as you prepare for your new life.

    Research Research Research - narrowing it down
    I highly recommend researching and even spending time (weekend trips, then maybe follow-up weekend trips for the finalists) at potential landing spots as nothign replaces experiencing something in-person to know if it's you or not. I also highly recommend going during the most un-recommended times of the year JUST to see. (For instance, I was a week from accepting a position and moving to VT. Since everybody commented about the cold, my best bet would have been to visit during the dead of winter just to see what i thikn about it... not just visit during its beautiful falls).

    For me. I was looking ALL OVER the USA (I had read many articles of the best places to live in the USA and researched every single one of them to start my list.. then narrowed as i went).

    Another great way to help narrow it down is to actually do a job search and rent/housing search to see what actual and real salaries and housing costs are in each area to see what YOUR reality would be if you moved there. You will end up eliminating a lot of places this way (this eliminated DC and FL for me pretty quickly.. )

    Final Examination
    now that you've spent some time in each potential location, hopefully more than once for the short list of landing spots.
    now that you're comfortable with what you're finding for jobs, wages, and rental/housing costs in your short list of landing spots.

    It's time to start applying for jobs in each of your short-list areas. It is INCREDIBLE how much information you can learn about another area just by applying for jobs and going thru some interviews. In my case, this is exatly where a VERY CLEAR winner for me emerged - VT. All the articles I read were confirmed in my experience with VT people. They were responsive to my applications, i got TONS of interview.. and they were all very WONDERFUL interviews (the people are truly very nice, reasonable, and thoughtful there... VERY professional and transparent). It was also an opportunity to ask about the area and living there and get it straight from the people there (and not just from reading articles), and get advice/tips on moving and living there. It was A WONDERFUL experience for me.

    The added benefit is --- you can actually score a job before you move!! How awesome is that?

    The Conclusion of My Story
    so i ended up getting a wonderful opportunity with a consultant company that extended an offer to me. I was so excited. However, it is REAL HARD transitioning from a high salary/cost region to a lesser salary/cost region because it's hard to grasp the implications of an offer that is only 50%, 60% of what you make today. (My research shows that if you're in MA that this transition may not be as drastic as MA is actually much more reasonable and far less inflated than CA).

    I ended up NOT moving to VT and accepting that job (but sometimes still kick myself for that lol) because their offer had in several safeguards for them (because they felt it was a big risk to hire somebody moving across the country than to hire locally). So there were a lot of conditions that all favored THEIR side incase it didn't work out.

    I counter-offered to try and balance that "risk" more equilaterally by asking for a higher starting wage and foregoing promised raises down the line and less benefits as that would help me feel more "SAFE" to move across the country.

    In the end, all i was waiting for was for them to counter offer one last time and come somewhere in the middle bettween their original offer and my counter offer and i was good to go. I was fully assuming they would (as this is just normal negotiating). But they balked at it and wanted to take their time and talk more about it before counter-offering. That was unfortunate. All they had to do was do something to show good faith in me and i would've agreed. They didn't. Then, a local university here came thru with an offer that was almost double what the VT company offered and so that was hard to pass up. So i took the local offer and stayed instead.

    ANYWAY.. this is what i did. What I recommend. And it's all a TON OF FUN! But definitely get to know the area, familiarize yourself with your specific wages/costs. And i highly recommend actually starting a job application to areas you are interested in as it will be invaluable to learn about the new area.

    Good luck and have fun with it!

  10. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    I thought I might want to move to another state, so I did as other posters have suggested; I spent 6 months researching, asking questions of people who lived where I wanted to live and made visits. I even went to a gas station there and quizzed the people who were buying gas. Do you like living here? What are some of the positives? The negatives? How is the local economy? Is housing difficult to find? Expensive or reasonable? How is the job market?

    I jumped without a parachute; I moved out here with no job lined up, basically no savings and a rented apartment that I got by lying on the rental application (I do NOT recommend or advocate doing this!). And it was right in the middle of the worst recession this country has seen in decades. But it all worked out. I found a job in 3 weeks and settled in.

    I absolutely love living here. The cost of living is so much better than where I moved from. And my family is only a few hours' drive or a short flight away. I do miss them, but I have the luxury of jumping in my car and driving out if I feel like it. I don't very often because I am having so much fun exploring my own city and area.

    It worked for me.

    And BTW, I moved to escape my self-destructive behavior after a breakup. I was doing stupid things like driving by his house, calling him then hanging up "accidentally", lurking around his family and friends and basically being an ass. If I moved hundreds of miles away I would have to stop. And I did, and ended up having a terrific life in my new city.

    Just some things to consider.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    I would not quit - i would have a job in hand.
    keep in mind - the cost of living is less, but so are the wages.

    I did move for a job out of state. They offered a parallel move rather than a promotion in case i got homesick.
    I had a friend or two there, but had a totally separate life from them - we saw eachother only slightly more than when i didn't live there.
    So friends can be a plus - but don't "depend" on them.

    Now is the time to take a risk with no wife and kids, no house, etc, but still choose wisely. And would you be on good terms with your employer if it didn't pan out?

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