What to do?

I've known this woman for about 8 years I recently spoke to her and we both exchange messages to one another but then it comes to a point where she stops talking to me and I leave it for a few days and finally ask why she hasn't spoken to me she replied with one of my old "friends" has told her I'm only talking to her to get in her pants. Now this could not be farthest from the truth I actually want to get to know this person and hang out and maybe later on yh I would consider trying to have a relationship with her but I know that this old "friend" did this to me once before made up a bunch of rumours when I tried to get with someone else ages ago. Stuff like I'd been stalking them when I wasn't even in the same country or that I'm only using them for sex. When in fact I know he calls random women for sex and ignores them as he has bragged to my friends before about it and that the woman I'm interested in he has been friends with her and keeps trying relentlessly to get in her pants. What do I do? I mean I distanced myself from this old friend as I had family issues and I was tired of him constantly talking down to me and making me feel worse. SO WHAT DO I DO?

Sounds like she's not really interested.

I'd reply and say "You've known me long enough to know different, I'm surprised you believe that." And then leave it there and not pursue her.

You can't control who she chooses to believe. Maybe she'll work out your old friend is just badmouthing the competition. Maybe not. But if she is too dumb to see what happened there, you can probably find someone better.

Unfortunately it sounds like you are in the friendzone and have been for 8 years. Yes distance yourself from the gossiping friend and block him from all your social media. Also try to date other girls. Stop chasing this one.

I've known this woman for about 8 years. finally ask why she hasn't spoken to me she replied with one of my old "friends" has told her I'm only talking to her to get in her pants.

Sounds like an excuse, not a reason.

What you do, is go about your business. If she believed him, over you, it shows lack of maturity. Sorry, this entire thing smacks of immaturity. Blow it off, and stay above the fray.

Step 1: stop all contact with said er "friend". cut him loose. let him fend for himself and you do the same.

Step 2: be honest - ultimately do you see yourself wanting to be with her or not? If yes, admit to it. "I can't claim that he's lying. I do find you attractive and what I've learned so far, I find you somebody I'm attracted to enough that i want to get to know more and possibly date. But I'm still in the learning about you mode at the moment..." If no, then admit to that. "i can honestly say in this case that I am not intending or looking to date you or become romantic with you. I see you as a person i'd love to get to know more and be friends with if you're interested in that too."

Now.. just because you say the latter doesn't mean it can't be romantic later on. But... you'll sorta have to let her dictate/lead on that one (if she's into you... she will eventually).

But just be honest and own up to it. That's far more appreciated than "trying to win her over" or "do the right move to win her over."

I don't understand why you are still friends with this so-called friend. How is this person so intertwined in your life and interpersonal relationships that they have an ability to trash-talk you and thwart your efforts to date someone. I can't say I would be maintaining a friendship with this person or any of the other friends who are "followers" and condone such behavior.

I agree with the previous post, why not respond with something along the lines of, "You know me better than that."

It has been eight years...almost a decade...I think if this woman was interested, something would have happened by now. It sounds like she's too tightly enmeshed with this so-called friend that I don't know that she's worth pursuing at all. Why keep anyone around who is friends with people that are not only toxic to you, but will believe the toxic people and side with them? It only means she is also toxic. Why do you continue hanging around with these people?

With friends like that, who needs enemies?

I think you need to evaluate your social structure and make some changes. You could meet a fantastic woman tomorrow, and if you immerse her in this hostile environment of your so-called friends, it will ultimately have any woman worth her salt walking away in a fast hurry, if not running. No woman with value has time for that sh)t. They left this behavior back behind in junior high.