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Thread: Confused About Relationship

  1. #1
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    Confused About Relationship

    Hi folks. I have been "dating" a man from high school for 6 months. I'm in my mid-fifties. In that time we have spent ALOT of time together because we have similar interests. I have grown to love him and I tell him often. He tells me that he loves me too. The relationship is progressing at a very slow pace which is ok but he seldom shows any affection towards me. I want to kiss him he pulls away. If I touch him in a way that could lead to intimacy he questions my motives and pulls away. He won't let me touch him! He seldom touches me. When I question him about it he twists things in such a way that I feel like a . Wanting to be intimate with someone you love after 6 months is normal and human. I'm ready to end this situation but want to know what you all think.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You are not dating. You are friends. If you want to continue the friendship respect his boundaries and keep your hands off him. If your feelings are more than he is offering, stop being his friend/hanging out and get on some dating apps.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    ....What are his reasons for rejecting you? Are you two ever intimate at all or never?

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    You are telling me what I wish wasn't true - but it is. I'll stop hanging out because my feelings are much stronger than his. Mark my word - I'll tell him that I'm done and he will pull me back in with minor affection like before.

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    I don't know. Never intimate but sometimes we sleep in the same bed. He likes for me to touch him but he will not touch me.

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    I refuse to let my self esteem be affected. He constantly tells me that I look/aged better than most of our friends. He drinks a lot and gets angry over little things. I still love him.

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    I wonder if he is either impotent or asexual. Has he had other romantic relationships that you're aware of? If he just sees you as a friend I don't know why he is saying he loves you. It's confusing and unfair on you.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    He doesn't meet your physical needs, and you've had plenty of time now to see how he will act in the long run. Time to free yourself so you can find someone who's a better match. If you haven't tried Meetup.com activities in your area, check it out.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by Hollywould
    You are telling me what I wish wasn't true - but it is. I'll stop hanging out because my feelings are much stronger than his. Mark my word - I'll tell him that I'm done and he will pull me back in with minor affection like before.
    No one can "pull you back in" without your permission.

    You are not powerless here, you are perfectly capable of making decisions, and acting in your own best interests, so sorry but this "he will pull me back in" is bs.

    Clearly this man has serious intimacy issues, is this what you want for yourself?

    Your choice and if you choose no, then as a strong competent woman, you walk away and not allow him to "pull you back in."

    It's really that simple.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollywould
    I don't know. Never intimate but sometimes we sleep in the same bed. He likes for me to touch him but he will not touch me.
    Wow....I mean I don't know why you call this dating. You are nothing more than platonic pals and he is very obviously not attracted to you sexually. Your attraction is completely one sided and yeah, as Wiseman said, stop trying to push yourself onto him. If you can't be just friends with him, then politely distance yourself from him until you cool off and lose interest....or just fade out of the friendship permanently. Don't go off telling him off because you'll just come across as crazy.

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