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Thread: Feeling a bit lost

  1. #1

    Feeling a bit lost

    Hi everyone, Iím just looking for some quick advice. My ex and I who were together a year and planned to do so much of our first time together such as taking eachothers virginity, rebounded with someone after a month of our break up. He broke up with me, so I was naturally heartbroken seeing this. Within a few months the rebound had ended and it wasnít long before he started messaging me again. I decided to take him back with a guarded heart. However I feel so left out now that he has been with someone else. Heís no longer a virgin, I am. I know it sounds silly, but it does hurt. Is this just a level of my own immaturity? Will the feeling naturally fade in time?
    Thank you.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
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    Did he break up with you for her, OP?

    Part of what you're feeling is likely related not only to the fact that he is not a virgin any more, but also because he apparently left you and found someone else quickly and is now coming back to you. Most would be hurt by that, regardless of sexual status.

    I think you are wise to guard your heart here. It is a risk taking back someone who left and then came back when their new fling didn't work out. What did he say to you when he got in touch again?

  3. #3
    Hi sweetheart,
    I believe in some ways he broke up with her for me. He said the usual sweet heart stuff when guys came back and was really apoplectic (something Iíve never seen him like) which is what made me decide to give him a second chance. I felt like second chances were only fair, for the sake of my life and knowing what would happen. Iím honestly not too bothered about the thoughts of him that he was with someone else so quickly, I pulled myself through and got over that the few months we were apart. I just believe finding out that he had done ďstuffĒ now dug up old feelings of when I first saw them together?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Never let someone bounce back and forth like this between you and his other gf. Dump this player.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    When a guy dumps you for someone else, there are no second chances no matter what sweet sounding drivel comes out of his mouth when he comes crawling back because things didn't work out as hoped with the other girl. I'm sorry, but you need to find some self respect and a spine quickly here and get rid of this clown for good. There are lots of reasons to give second chances to people, but when it comes to this scenario, you just don't, because your kindness will end in you being treated like a doormat, used and abused at will.

  7. #6
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    yes it will fade in time.
    yes this is a "young person's thing" and as you get older you'll look back and cringe on some of this stuff.

    its actually unhealthy to hold sex up that high and give it that much power and symbolism. its' just a natural component of one's personality and life and shouldnt' be made to be much more than that. Sure when you are inexperienced it's a huge thing (just like your first bike ever was HUUUUGE thing). But looking back now, just how major is a bike in your life, and THAT particular bike? REally.. none at all probably.

    Firsts are always important so cherish and value all your firsts (like your first sexual encounter) for sure. BUT NEVER put any of them way up on some pedastal out of reach that you let it play with your head and make decisions for you. Ask any guy.. running your life based on your sexuality is a recipe for disaster. and a LOT of bad decisions.

  8. #7
    Originally Posted by thisisrichey
    yes it will fade in time.
    yes this is a "young person's thing" and as you get older you'll look back and cringe on some of this stuff.

    its actually unhealthy to hold sex up that high and give it that much power and symbolism. its' just a natural component of one's personality and life and shouldnt' be made to be much more than that. Sure when you are inexperienced it's a huge thing (just like your first bike ever was HUUUUGE thing). But looking back now, just how major is a bike in your life, and THAT particular bike? REally.. none at all probably.

    Firsts are always important so cherish and value all your firsts (like your first sexual encounter) for sure. BUT NEVER put any of them way up on some pedastal out of reach that you let it play with your head and make decisions for you. Ask any guy.. running your life based on your sexuality is a recipe for disaster. and a LOT of bad decisions.
    Hi, thank you so much. This has really helped me feel better and more understanding about this situation. You are the only one who has told it to me straight like that.

    I also thank everyone else for your opinions and taking the time to reply to me. It truly means so so much.


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