He left me for his ex. Should I still wait for him?

We met before I dated someone and I left him for my ex. When my 10 month relationship ended he started talking to me. He had dated someone too he said they dated for 6 months. It didn’t work out with them and he told me she did so many things to hurt him. When we started talking he told me he was looking for something serious. He said he was over her and I believed him. His actions were Sincere. He would open doors for me, he would call me he would blow my phone up and told me he missed me. When we first met we had this connection I thought I was the only one who felt it but he asked me if I felt it too ofc I said yes bc I have never felt that with anyone. We got food when we met and he was taking pictures of me and saying I looked beautiful. I slept with him on our first encounter and I think that’s where I messed up because every time we would hang out we’d have sex. BUT it wasn’t just sex like it was so touching, we literally made love like it’s crazy the amount of chemistry we had for each other. But out of nowhere he started acting distant? And I noticed something was wrong and when he told me, I didn’t know what to do. His ex started texting him and telling him she missed him and that she needed him and she started calling him and showing up at his place. At first he would ignore her and he even picked me over her 2 times! But after a couple of weeks he told me that he couldn’t stop thinking about her. I told him that it’s a technique girls have. To check if they can still have you when they want you and he didn’t believe me. It hit me so hard because, we had something. We were doing great. He told me he’d never take her back because she hurt him really bad but he’s with her now. And he was so mature about everything. He apologized because things didn’t end the way I wanted to. But his ex would always text me and disrespect me. He would defend me. And it’s just so confusing because he told me that he didn’t care for her at the beginning and I think she got into his head. I KNOW what she’s doing. I know she only got him back because she wants to hurt him and he won’t believe me. I know it wasn’t just anything. I know I should probably try to move on but I want him to come back. So I don’t know if I should wait and see if they work out or just move on.

Did you both cheat on your partners with one another? Your story is confusing?

How long did you date?

Did you go on actual dates after you had sex? Did you meet friends and family?

Did you both cheat on your partners with one another? Your story is confusing?

 

How long did you date?

 

Did you go on actual dates after you had sex? Did you meet friends and family?

No no. He also dated someone while I was dating someone.

We didn’t date? We were talking and he met my family and I met his friends and his dad. We only talked for 3 months

We went out to dinner a couple times

How many times did you see one another?

You didn't date but slept together multiple times?

How many times did you see one another?

A lot. I don’t know a specific number but around 50

You didn't date but slept together multiple times?

Yes? I know it’s wrong but I have needs [emoji23] and I really liked him. Like I said I thought we were going somewhere.

So, basically your 'relationship' was in the bedroom. This was all about sex. What do you wait for, to be his booty call again. He does not give a rat's behind about you.

Block and delete. Please do not allow yourself to be treated in this manner if you want more. He does not care about or respect you!

You had nothing. The dude is in love with that girl

I didn't understand the story very well, but you should never wait for anyone.

Also, how did the ex have your number to text you?

Holly is right. What you had was nothing more than hot sex, but his emotions are tied up with the other girl. No, don't wait for him because there is nothing to wait for. He didn't go back to her because he is an easily manipulated fool, he went back because that's where his heart is at, even if she hurts him and will hurt him again 100 times more. Until he truly gets over her, any other woman getting involved with him will just get burned. That doesn't mean that he won't call you up any time they are off again, but make no mistake it's only to use you and go back again to her for another round of whatever. Don't be his doormat and block him for good. When a guy leaves you for someone else, you never ever stoop so low as to take him back. Plenty of other men out there who will actually adore you, love you, and be loyal to you. This guy is toxic.

I didn't understand the story very well, but you should never wait for anyone.

 

Also, how did the ex have your number to text you?

It was on Facebook and Snapchat and instagram. She would send me mean texts and make me feel insecure but he would still defend me?

So, basically your 'relationship' was in the bedroom. This was all about sex. What do you wait for, to be his booty call again. He does not give a rat's behind about you.

 

Block and delete. Please do not allow yourself to be treated in this manner if you want more. He does not care about or respect you!

Thank you so much [emoji21]

I know he chose me for someone else but I can’t get him out of my mind. There was a point where he actually showed interest and good intentions. That’s why I’m confused. Will he realize that he messed up and will he come back? What if he comes back and begs? And what if he actually wants something again. Should I let him? I might be over him by the time he comes back but I don’t want anyone else. I kind of feel like he likes the attention. He likes ppl begging for him and when I stopped telling him I wanted him and I would leave him bc if her he started paying attention to her. I don’t know if that makes sense but I feel like he just went back bc he likes the attention? Is that a possibility?

Holly is right. What you had was nothing more than hot sex, but his emotions are tied up with the other girl. No, don't wait for him because there is nothing to wait for. He didn't go back to her because he is an easily manipulated fool, he went back because that's where his heart is at, even if she hurts him and will hurt him again 100 times more. Until he truly gets over her, any other woman getting involved with him will just get burned. That doesn't mean that he won't call you up any time they are off again, but make no mistake it's only to use you and go back again to her for another round of whatever. Don't be his doormat and block him for good. When a guy leaves you for someone else, you never ever stoop so low as to take him back. Plenty of other men out there who will actually adore you, love you, and be loyal to you. This guy is toxic.

Should I try to get him back though? I got so used to him. And the way she would talk about him 🤦🏾♀️ it breaks my heart. It makes me sad because she doesn’t care for him. The things she would say. She told me she’d get him back just to prove that she could. That’s why I think it’s her fault :/ that’s why I think she got to him.

If you're good with sex only, and no possibility for a long term committed exclusive relationship with this guy, then I'm not seeing a problem "trying to get him back" to enjoy that amazing sexual chemistry. Just don't see it as anything more than that.

If you're thinking there's some sort of serious relationship potential with this guy, you're sadly mistaken.

I know he chose me for someone else but I can’t get him out of my mind. There was a point where he actually showed interest and good intentions. That’s why I’m confused. Will he realize that he messed up and will he come back? What if he comes back and begs? And what if he actually wants something again. Should I let him? I might be over him by the time he comes back but I don’t want anyone else. I kind of feel like he likes the attention. He likes ppl begging for him and when I stopped telling him I wanted him and I would leave him bc if her he started paying attention to her. I don’t know if that makes sense but I feel like he just went back bc he likes the attention? Is that a possibility?

...I mean that's even worse than him just going back to her because he is not over her.

No, do not get involved in this toxic drama. Nothing good will come of it. He can't come and beg if you block and delete him from everything. Look, I know great sex and chemistry can make you feel sky high, but give yourself some time and you'll come back down to earth and be just fine without this guy and all the toxic drama. Raise your standards for dating and you'll thank yourself for it soon enough.

Im going to tell you what you want to hear because you wont listen to what you need to hear.

Yes, wait for him. The sex is awesome and its perfect because you two will never be as a loving couple. He doesn't see you as a GF or as a girl that he has to cut all ties with. You have dated others while he has and he sees you as a sex partner and nothing else. So yes, wait for him because as you said. "You have needs"

If you have any self respect left, you won't beg or ask him to come back to you.

With his ex, it was different, they had been in love. With you, it was sex and nothing more. I know you felt it was "making love"...but you didn't know each other and everything was based on sex.

The proof in where his heart was, is the fact that he ran back to his ex.

Now you need to get your self respect back. We all have needs, but you need to have more self control. You can satisfy yourself (so to speak), instead of getting intimate with whomever and thinking it means something.

Focus on meeting someone else now. He's left you for her, he's in love with her, that's the end of it.

Next time you meet someone you like, keep your clothes on. Actually build a romance, and romance has nothing to do with sex. It has to do with building a strong friendship, holding hands, getting to know each other, flirting, building into love. This can take months.

Romance is what builds love, sex isn't. I hope you can learn the difference so next time you can have a man fall in love with you and not use you.

OP, sounds like you might have been his rebound to distract himself while waiting on the sidelines for his ex to come back.

To add to what No1 says -

If you just want someone to have sex with, there are plenty of fellows out there who can fill that role, and if you date one for a while and build some anticipation, you'll experience that honeymoon phase again.

So while waiting for him, find another FB, and ignore him - which will make you more attractive to him.

His actions clearly showed that he only wanted sex. Please do not ever accept a bedroom relationship, again. If he cared about you, he would have been taking you out on a regular basic, and you would have interacted with friends and explored your area and done things. He did not incorporate you into his life. At all! He used you.

Block and delete him. he will come back when she dumb him, and he will use you for sex. he does NOT respect you or see you as gf material.

Is this how most of your relationships usually go?

Op, I mean this in this best way, this guy treated you like an unpaid hooker.

You should expect more from people you are with.

Well lesson learned [emoji53] thank you. This really helped me open my eyes. Just needed more opinions on this situation but now I know

Now, block and delete.

I also suggest you do some strong reflection to understand what brought you to this place. Also, no dating for a while.

In my experience, every single one of us have needs, wants, desires. The difference between someone who is more mature, is that they have more self control over those things.

It's easy enough to give into those things but if we all did, there would be far more STD's, pregnancies, rapes, and so on.

Try to keep your pants on and have a guy fall in love with your heart not your body.

As for this guy, just in case he does come back, don't offer him sex at all. No kissing, no nothing. See if he will treat you like a lady and take you on proper dates.

But my money is on the fact that once he see's you're not putting out, he won't be interested.

You deserve better, only you can change that.