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Thread: He left me for his ex. Should I still wait for him?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Holly is right. What you had was nothing more than hot sex, but his emotions are tied up with the other girl. No, don't wait for him because there is nothing to wait for. He didn't go back to her because he is an easily manipulated fool, he went back because that's where his heart is at, even if she hurts him and will hurt him again 100 times more. Until he truly gets over her, any other woman getting involved with him will just get burned. That doesn't mean that he won't call you up any time they are off again, but make no mistake it's only to use you and go back again to her for another round of whatever. Don't be his doormat and block him for good. When a guy leaves you for someone else, you never ever stoop so low as to take him back. Plenty of other men out there who will actually adore you, love you, and be loyal to you. This guy is toxic.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by Annia
    I didn't understand the story very well, but you should never wait for anyone.

    Also, how did the ex have your number to text you?
    It was on Facebook and Snapchat and instagram. She would send me mean texts and make me feel insecure but he would still defend me?

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    So, basically your 'relationship' was in the bedroom. This was all about sex. What do you wait for, to be his booty call again. He does not give a rat's behind about you.

    Block and delete. Please do not allow yourself to be treated in this manner if you want more. He does not care about or respect you!
    Thank you so much

  4. #14
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    I know he chose me for someone else but I canít get him out of my mind. There was a point where he actually showed interest and good intentions. Thatís why Iím confused. Will he realize that he messed up and will he come back? What if he comes back and begs? And what if he actually wants something again. Should I let him? I might be over him by the time he comes back but I donít want anyone else. I kind of feel like he likes the attention. He likes ppl begging for him and when I stopped telling him I wanted him and I would leave him bc if her he started paying attention to her. I donít know if that makes sense but I feel like he just went back bc he likes the attention? Is that a possibility?

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Holly is right. What you had was nothing more than hot sex, but his emotions are tied up with the other girl. No, don't wait for him because there is nothing to wait for. He didn't go back to her because he is an easily manipulated fool, he went back because that's where his heart is at, even if she hurts him and will hurt him again 100 times more. Until he truly gets over her, any other woman getting involved with him will just get burned. That doesn't mean that he won't call you up any time they are off again, but make no mistake it's only to use you and go back again to her for another round of whatever. Don't be his doormat and block him for good. When a guy leaves you for someone else, you never ever stoop so low as to take him back. Plenty of other men out there who will actually adore you, love you, and be loyal to you. This guy is toxic.
    Should I try to get him back though? I got so used to him. And the way she would talk about him 🤦🏾♀️ it breaks my heart. It makes me sad because she doesnít care for him. The things she would say. She told me sheíd get him back just to prove that she could. Thatís why I think itís her fault :/ thatís why I think she got to him.

  7. #16
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    If you're good with sex only, and no possibility for a long term committed exclusive relationship with this guy, then I'm not seeing a problem "trying to get him back" to enjoy that amazing sexual chemistry. Just don't see it as anything more than that.

    If you're thinking there's some sort of serious relationship potential with this guy, you're sadly mistaken.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jaquiiiimez
    I know he chose me for someone else but I canít get him out of my mind. There was a point where he actually showed interest and good intentions. Thatís why Iím confused. Will he realize that he messed up and will he come back? What if he comes back and begs? And what if he actually wants something again. Should I let him? I might be over him by the time he comes back but I donít want anyone else. I kind of feel like he likes the attention. He likes ppl begging for him and when I stopped telling him I wanted him and I would leave him bc if her he started paying attention to her. I donít know if that makes sense but I feel like he just went back bc he likes the attention? Is that a possibility?
    ...I mean that's even worse than him just going back to her because he is not over her.

    No, do not get involved in this toxic drama. Nothing good will come of it. He can't come and beg if you block and delete him from everything. Look, I know great sex and chemistry can make you feel sky high, but give yourself some time and you'll come back down to earth and be just fine without this guy and all the toxic drama. Raise your standards for dating and you'll thank yourself for it soon enough.

  9. #18
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    Im going to tell you what you want to hear because you wont listen to what you need to hear.

    Yes, wait for him. The sex is awesome and its perfect because you two will never be as a loving couple. He doesn't see you as a GF or as a girl that he has to cut all ties with. You have dated others while he has and he sees you as a sex partner and nothing else. So yes, wait for him because as you said. "You have needs"

  10. #19
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    If you have any self respect left, you won't beg or ask him to come back to you.

    With his ex, it was different, they had been in love. With you, it was sex and nothing more. I know you felt it was "making love"...but you didn't know each other and everything was based on sex.

    The proof in where his heart was, is the fact that he ran back to his ex.

    Now you need to get your self respect back. We all have needs, but you need to have more self control. You can satisfy yourself (so to speak), instead of getting intimate with whomever and thinking it means something.

    Focus on meeting someone else now. He's left you for her, he's in love with her, that's the end of it.
    Next time you meet someone you like, keep your clothes on. Actually build a romance, and romance has nothing to do with sex. It has to do with building a strong friendship, holding hands, getting to know each other, flirting, building into love. This can take months.

    Romance is what builds love, sex isn't. I hope you can learn the difference so next time you can have a man fall in love with you and not use you.

  11. #20
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    OP, sounds like you might have been his rebound to distract himself while waiting on the sidelines for his ex to come back.

    To add to what No1 says -

    If you just want someone to have sex with, there are plenty of fellows out there who can fill that role, and if you date one for a while and build some anticipation, you'll experience that honeymoon phase again.

    So while waiting for him, find another FB, and ignore him - which will make you more attractive to him.

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