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Thread: Why is she doing this?

  1. #1

    Why is she doing this?

    Hi, any insight would be helpful.

    I was in a toxic and tumultuous relationship for about a year in and off, my first gay relationship.

    It was a very passionate relationship—a lot of love and a lot of hurt.

    We finally broke it off and found ourselves dating other people but after a few months— it was right back to the “I miss you, I want you back” and then another ending.

    I finally asked her to block me because I always found myself texting her and being left disappointed by her blatant ignoring.

    She did block me. After a month, she unblocked me and called me. I asked her to block me again. Two months later (a few days ago), she unblocked me again and texted me “How are you”

    We had a short conversation and she left me on read again— the same old.

    I want to ask her why she keeps unblocking me but I also don’t want to feed into this.

    Does anyone have any idea of why she’s doing this and what I can do?

    I do so well without her in my life and without her on my mind. When I hear from her, it plagues me.



    Any help is appreciated, thanks

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It may be best for you to delete and block her from all your devices, messaging apps and social media.

  3. #3
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    Time to take control of your life and not leave it in the hands of others.

    Rather than requesting she block you, block her yourself.

    It might not be as difficult as you think.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Can only echo the above posters. Time for you to take charge of your own life and block and delete her for good. As you said yourself, your life is so much better without her and without the pain and drama she brings into your life. Btw, the roller coaster you experienced can actually be quite addictive, highs and lows, but please don't confuse that adrenaline rush with love and please realize that there are healthier ways to get your adrenaline kicks.

    As for why she does it - very simply because she can because you allow it by not blocking her yourself. This is on you, not her. It's a bit like asking why do some people love to poke a bear - because it amuses them in a mean way, because irritating and hurting gives them pleasure. She is the kind of person best avoided at all costs.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Why don't you delete and block her yourself instead of asking her to do so or wondering why she blocks or doesn't block?

  7. #6
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    As everyone else said just block her and be done with it. She sounds awful.

    By not blocking her and leaving it upto her to block you, you are just avoiding responsibility. The reason for this is probably because even though you know nothing good will come from this you still refuse to let go and also in a way you are victimising yourself "Oh why wont she block me/why does she call me? /Why does she text me?" again avoiding responsibility. Take the situation in your hands and be done with her.

  8. #7
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    The question was "why?" and there could be many many reasons why she does these things, but what you have to realize that you give her the avenue to make this happen.
    Some of the reasons can be that she gets lonely, she needs attention, she needs to feel a body next to her, she needs interaction, she needs someone safe, she needs to feel emotion, she needs someone familiar to her, she needs her comfort blanket, she needs to fill a hole she has.. Whatever reason mentioned, you are giving her that opportunity to fill that need.
    If she wanted to be back with you, you two would be back by now. But no, she doesn't see you as a long term GF. BTW, any time or most of the time someone says "I need to find myself" it means. I don't want to be in a relationship with you. So the reason why she contacts you doesn't matter and it shouldn't matter. What matters is that you cut the lines. You are not the option, you are not second best, you are not a time filler, you are not her blanket, her crutch or you at her beck and call. You are someone that deserves to find someone that does want to be with you, that wants to add to your happiness.
    Cut the ropes that your X has attached to you.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Why dont you block her? That'd solve your problem.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    What everyone else says.

    The title of this post should read "Why am I doing this?"

    Start looking at it like that, instead of infusing her with some magical power she doesn't have, and you'll be on your way to clearer pastures.

  11. #10
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Does anyone have any idea of why she’s doing this and what I can do?

    I do so well without her in my life and without her on my mind. When I hear from her, it plagues me.
    What you can do is block her, and close that final door which you're purposely leaving open. Not to sound harsh, but you already know this.

    Self respect can do the body good...so to speak.

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