Thoughts?! A complicated one...

I'm going to try keep this as short and to the point as I can as in reality its very long winded!

Back story is, I've been with my guy for just over a year now. I had been living and working abroad for many years, and decided I wanted to return home in my late 20s and find myself a great man. He was great! Oh the beginning was so wonderful. I felt like I was on cloud 9, treat me like a queen.

All of sudden, things just changed. I knew my guy suffered from depression and took pills daily to help. Within the space of 6 weeks we had gone from being stuck together to virtually no intimacy whatsoever. He became infatuated with his phone - not looking at women, just watching sport video after sport video..aimlessly scrolling. Now after reading up on depression and side effects of pills, things started to make sense. Don't get me wrong, when we sleep on a night he hugs me so tight and showers me with kisses... so I knew he felt guilty for the lack of sexual contact and it was his way of assuring me it was no reflection of me. In all this time, up until literally last week, I have never asked him to change his meds. If it works for him and keeps him calm, then thats good enough for me. Relationships are about a hell of a lot more than just sex right?

Im a laid back girlfriend. He enjoys playing football ALOT. And if he's not playing (which is around 4-5 times a week) He's watching it. Again, this keeps him happy and Im glad he has such a strong hobby as I myself am passionate about ballet. Apparently all of his exes had quite strong issues with his obsession with football and often made him chose between his hobby and them. I've never felt the need to do that. Of course, if we haven't done anything just the two of us in a while, I mention it, and he understands without fuss.

Due to past issues, my guy finds it incredibly difficult to say those '3 little words'. I struggle with this the most. He's told me maybe twice in a whole year. He can say it to anybody else, just not to me. Because he's terrified I will leave him as people he truly loves always do. He said I am everything. But he just can't say it. He can't text it, he can't write it in a card. Somedays it crushes me simply because every girl likes to hear I Love You every now and then. Of course actions speak louder than words but you can imagine I struggle a little with that sometimes due to the lack of intimacy. In general I have always been a very confident person who is very in tune with herself, but I'm worried my confidence is being tested. He's said to me before that I'm the best thing thats happened to him, that I've saved him, that he's so happy with me... but sometimes I worry that I'm not that happy? I am and Im not.

SO this is our typical relationship. The reason I'm here however involves a female best friend.

My guy has a female best friend. Which is cool, because I have a male best friend. HOWEVER. My male best friend takes a back seat when I'm in a relationship. This friend doesn't. They message every day, in the past they would go on nights out to bars together just the two of them, which at times made me uncomfortable, but I never doubted my guy. Then this girl posts photos of them out together all over social media making it look like they're having the best time. Now I'm not one for posting a lot on social media, especially when in a relationship. I'm one of those people who are too busy living in the moment to remember to whip my camera out. So, there is rarely lots of gushy posts of me and my guy on either of our social medias.When I saw the posts, I couldn't help but feel a little bit embarrassed, a little bit hurt? I felt like an outsider to their relationship? SO... I brought it up with my guy. I said look I get your friends but come on do you have to post all these gushy pictures of the two of you arms around each other all over social media for all our friends and family to see? Surely she has boundaries and respects my existence? My guy didn't take it so well...called me jealous...told me I was taking things too far, nothing had ever or will happen between them etc. I calmly explained that my problem wasn't with trusting him, and it most definitely wasn't jealousy, it was simply confusion to said girls lack of respect for me. I said I would speak to her myself simply to say how I felt but that I didn't need them to stop talking or anything - just to wind it in bit and have a bit of a boundary especially on social media. He told me not to bother.

The problem seemed to die down for a while until about 4 months ago, we hit a rough patch. Things weren't great with me and I felt that the strain of the issues in our relationship along with my own problems at the time where a little bit much and I told him I didn't think I could do it anymore. He then openly told me I wasn't a priority in his life. He cried and told me he loved me and that he was sorry and he knows he's got a lot of growing up to do. After he left, I cried none stop for 24 hours straight, even though I had initiated it. Low and behold, my guy called female friend straight away. They go out drinking. I get sent videos of girl trying to kiss my guy and then smiling at the camera.

After a further couple of days, I decide I need to finally text him and get my things out of his house. He asks me to stay a while so we can talk. Im resistant, but I needed to hear what he had to say. He was so full of remorse and pain. We spoke for 3 hours. He told me how just by me being there he was already 00 times happier. How he wanted to be the man I deserve, how everything was going to be different, to bare with him on the big stuff but that he wants everything with me. I took the bait, and before long we were happier than ever.

My current problem is that now, whenever we drink heavily, I bring up this incident with the female friend. 3 times we have fought drunkenly about it. The last time was a couple of nights ago, in which my guy MADE me go through his phone. I WOULD EVER EVER EVER ask to go through his phone or do so in secret. I believe that that shows absolutely no trust in the relationship. But, by this point, he had shoved his phone in my face and waited for a response. What he didn't realise in his drunken stupor was that conversation at the top of the list on his messages was to said girl. he says, 'I love you so much xxx'. I don't think I need to say anything else about that here.

Then, in a conversation with one of his best guy friends, I notice he has actually screens hotted a completely silly Facebook post of mine that wasn't related to anything and sent it to this guy friend in a message, typing underneath 'don't give her the attention' (because this guy friend had liked said post. Please, can anybody shed light on this? What on earth does that even mean?

After that, I looked no further. I went to bed. I woke up the next day and sat with his mom for some time in tears explaining I didn't think we could come back from this. Somehow, after talking with my guy, he's convinced me that if I just make up with this female friend of his everything will be fixed and ill finally let it go. Regarding the screenshot of my fb post, it was apparently a joke and harmless. My question to you guys is, is any of this worth it? Or do I need to walk away all together?

Sorry for the rant of epic proportions!

A few things:

Im not clear if you are broken up or together right now, but it doesnt matter. This guy cares more about his friend.

You sound pretty young and immature, and you are making a big deal out of a lot of things. He cant say I love you, but he ca say it to others? Umm hello? He doesnt love you.

Drinking and arguing? Thats healthy.

Time to move on.