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Thread: Is this too over the top for a second date?

  1. #21
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    Yikes no.


    Do this after half a year not the second date.

  2. #22
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    Like with everyone else, way too much too soon, and really, how are you normally? Do you travel and spend money like this all the time, or is this something you do on occasion, and you'd rather stay local, maybe even enjoy just being home with a movie, and enjoy these extravagances with less frequency? Lead with future precedence, is what I'm trying to say. Like with texting, which is a serious source of contention with folks. If you're overall not a major texter, don't leap into a relationship and text with a frenzy and then drop off to your normal, nearly non-existent levels 2-3 weeks later...issues abound...so stick to a normal routine, though you may ramp it up a little at first or in a compromise.

    The thing is, the two rooms and hotel doesn't bother me that much, except for the exorbitant amount of money you would be spending, plus food, rentals...that would be a lot to accept. What would bother me more is being alone with a near stranger (even though I like you) for a long drive, and then being alone in the woods on snowmobiles or whatever. I'm not highly worried about murderers and the like, but it's a bit squicky, and just "off."

    We all know what hotels and hotel rooms imply, even though you plan on separate rooms...let's be realistic. But despite this, I am wondering if you have some good local resorts for a "staycation," so she can have her own transportation, there are local, public fares, and it's just a little less daunting. I wouldn't even plan this for a 2nd or 3rd date, but maybe a few weeks or months down the line or when you're ready for some intimacy, maybe the timing would be right after a 3rd date, who knows, but seriously, don't lead with this. At 50+, we're not exactly worried about our virginity and iron underwear, but we do need to be picky.

    As many have said, if you're really enjoying each other, you don't need to have all the thrill of all these external sources. Being together in this new relationship has a habit of being hot and exciting all on its own.

    Since we don't get snow and it's pushing highs of 67, I really can't relate to the snowbound, claustrophobic nature of weather, but I'm also one that is perfectly happy snuggled at home with a movie or maybe play some pool (I can't play) or bowl (not great at that either), or just grab some dinner, a movie, explore some local light shows, a supermoon event coming up, and walk and talk and freeze. Getting to know each other is the thrill, and you can discuss future date ideas and lengthy (or short) trips and getaways at that time. Surely you have some local options that may not be snowmobiling, but fun just the same.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I think your plan is best left til about date #10 or more. As a woman I would not go on a 3 hr car ride with some dude I barely know. I would not stay over in a hotel even in my own room, with said dude. Too much too soon.

    Take her to a local event, a hockey game, or whatever sport is near by that she may like. I say that because you mention snowmobiling so you must be in an area with snow. Go to whatever community event is near you. Go to a nearby town and have lunch, see the sites. Go to the movies. Dont rush it!

  4. #24
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    This sends a message that you are starving and have nobody else in your life with whom you can do this kind of thing.

    Recognize that if you spend your load shooting out of the stratosphere on date #2, you're setting yourself up to feel boring and inadequate on date #3.

    Skip that, and relax into getting know one another without showing off.

    Head high, and enjOy simple pleasures.

  5.  

  6. #25
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    Maybe not. She may love it. What would concern me, is setting a precedent. She might come to expect this. If you casually blow off 800 smackaroos, you are signalling money is no option. It might not be to you, but people get real strange around money.

    I think people are being a bit harsh and judgey wudgey. You thought big, and out of the box. You were smart enough to test the idea here in a safe way. That shows both creative thinking and conscientiousness. That's a good combination.

  7. #26
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    That's going to make the girl either feel pressured beyond belief, or see him as desperate and easy to use. Why shell out this money this quickly? You're basically begging to be used.

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