Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 4 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 31 to 40 of 45

Thread: Girlfriend going on cruise with single friends

  1. #31
    Platinum Member superfan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2,366
    Gender
    Female
    Do this poor girl a favor and break up with her now.

    Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. You may not think you're making demands of her but an invisible ultimatum is an ultimatum all the same.

    You've essentially decided that you'll break up with her if she doesn't pass your invisible test of deciding not to go on a trip she had planned long before she met you.

    Whatever your values are, expecting a partner to drop everything and simply because she is dating you now is beyond unreasonable, if for no other reason than the money she has likely already spent on this cruise. I don't know about you, but if I had spent that kind of money on a trip and some dude I had been dating for less than 6 months wanted me to stay home because he was insecure I would laugh him out the door.

    Just dump her and find a woman who is as codependent as you are.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    1,270
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by AloneNoMore
    I am going to ride it out see what happens with the cruise. I know in my current mindset if the cruise is still on I'd end it most likely right after she comes back as not to ruin the trip or make her feel down so that she can enjoy herself.

    I am also not going to bring the cruise up at all to her I'll just see what plays out and if I feel the same way once she back home after cruise I'll let her know the state of relationship.
    Yeah, well, this got batsh*t quick.

    Dude, I don't know what happened to you to have this little trust in people in general and women in particular. Whatever it was, I'm sorry. Hope you work it out. I mean in that in total sincerity.

    Because to be preemptively breaking up with someone, ten months from now, for something they planned to do before knowing you existed on the planet—whoa. Just trying to imagine the degree of manipulation and neediness that will surface over the next 10 months makes me really feel for this woman.

    Just know that, if she's a keeper, she's going to spot this stuff in you long before Sept and she's going to be the one to end it. If you can find it in yourself, now, to understand that truth then maybe, maybe you can go about getting a grip on this so you can treat a fellow human with the independence and respect they deserve, rather than policing them.

  3. #33
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    30,536
    Gender
    Male
    Yes. Use a wait and see approach. You don't even know if you'll still be dating by then anyway, so why stir up drama now when there is no guarantee you'll still be together 10 mos from now.. Also make sure you do a baggage inventory if something like this is already bothering you.
    Originally Posted by AloneNoMore
    I am going to ride it out see what happens.

  4. #34
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    44
    Just tell to have a great time on the cruise because you know you will while she’s gone. Then drop the subject and don’t speak about it anymore

  5.  

  6. #35
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Posts
    83
    Originally Posted by spunkmire
    Just tell to have a great time on the cruise because you know you will while she’s gone.
    What does that mean? She might think he's got other plans to keep busy while she's away.. not plans that are conducive to the best interests of the relationship if you know what I mean.

  7. #36
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    22,714
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by AloneNoMore
    Think that's where some of it stems from and cruises have allot of stigma for hookup culture the whole on a boat, lots of alcohol , and I know staff get fired for hooking up with people outside of staff but they still do it and they on a boat for awhile. Lots of partying and the thought of it's not life since your pulled into this illusion.

    Everyone I've known that did cruises when single didn't go to take in the scenery they went to party and meet girls or guys that they could just have fun and not have attached to life or reality.

    On top of that people don't go-to the grocery store to let loose, party, get drunk, or as carefree.

    She scheduled this cruise because she was going through a tough breakup and wanted to use it to make herself happy and I am guessing desired or to find herself.

    On top of that her safety in these countries especially areas like Honduras isn't really having the great of safety or the best of news.

    I went on a cruise. guess what. There were a lot of old people there. There were some people where it looked like a few girlfriends/sister groups in their 20s and 30s were there but there was no corresponding bands of young men who were there as a group to meet women. It seemed like it was retirees, single/or at least women going without their guys and young couples. And some mom and daughters -- ie, 45-60 year old mom - teen to 20s daughter. In september, the college kids won't be on the cruises. Everyone is back at work and at school.

  8. #37
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Age
    56
    Posts
    5,773
    Gender
    Male
    Trust people until they give you a reason not to. Not trusting people as a default, is going to lead to a s*****y life.

  9. #38
    Bronze Member AloneNoMore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    169
    Well I ended it this past weekend for totally unrelated issues or concerns that came up since I posted this.

    I found out that she had been unfaithful in all of her previous relationships straight from her mouth. a couple she cheated on them and then they cheated on her and the others they cheated on her so she took revenge and cheated on them.

    I also found out because she told me that she smokes weed which I don't want around me due to personal preference and also career.

    She also told me that she due to previous relationships one which was 8 years it was abusive and that she feels unloved and that no one cares about her.

    It was a world wind couple days and all this came out in a couple days.

    It was like a flip of a switch bubbly personality humor go getter to complete 180

  10. #39
    Bronze Member AloneNoMore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    169
    Chalking my suspicion of the cruise as a gut feeling that ended up probably being pretty spot-on for concern

  11. #40
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    9,042
    Gender
    Female
    She's single because she's had unsuccessful relationships, right?
    Why are you single, exactly?

    It looks like you tried hard enough to assassinate her character so you'll have justification.
    You win.

Page 4 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •