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Thread: Broke but in love..

  1. #1

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    Broke but in love..

    I've been in a relationship for about 2 years now with this amazing guy. We've had our fair share of ups and downs, a few breakups but we can't seem to get over our feelings so we got back together again.

    The relationship is great. He is an amazing guy, he treats me so well. Loving,caring..you name it. There's only 2 problems...

    1. When i met him he was in his last year at school so i was the only one working. 2 years later the situation hasn't changed much. He had a job for 1 year but he basically paid off his mom's debts and helped out a lot at home so he never really could help me out much. We do a lot of eating out but i pay most of the time. He pays whenever he can.

    In the past he's borrowed money from me and promised to pay back but never did. Whenever he gets money he pays his things and buys things he needs, so i do most of the paying for dates,gas and gifts. Again he helps out whenever he can.. what do you guys advice me on this? It's getting kind of frustrating...

    Second our families don't agree with the relationship. My parents basically hate him. My mom knows he can't help me out in the financial area so thats why she doesnt support the relationship. His family got tired of our on-and-off situation..

    Please helppp i'm getting frustrated!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. He is taking advantage and you and your family know this. Stop giving him money.

  3. #3
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    Stop being his wallet.

    Dump this guy and find someone who wants to work and pay their fair share. You are not a victim in this, as you have actively been supporting this relationship. Your bf is a loser/user.

    In the future, do not give boyfriends money!
    Last edited by Hollyj; 01-06-2019 at 04:15 PM.

  4. #4
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    If he is so "amazing" then why do you keep breaking up?

    Why doesn't he work?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    He is a mooch & you are his perfect patsy.

    Stop giving him money, and leave.

  7. #6
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    and helped out a lot at home so he never really could help me out much.

    Firstly, a boyfriend should *not* be financially "helping you out." At. All.
    If he is a broke student, then you go out on dates to places that are cheap and free - there are a lot of museums that are free for students or free for residents of the area, hiking, netflix and chill, etc. If its his turn to pick the date and he only has $5, then he must choose wisely.
    If you decided that *you* want to eat out and you want his company in doing so, then pay and don't expect anything in return.

    That being said - you should *not* be loaning him money at all. Ok?

    If he lives at home - maybe his mom is losing the house and he is paying debts to keep it.
    YES he should pay his personal bills before paying off loans.

    I think it is *both* your fault here. For you, you are expecting him to contribute financially - when he is simply a boyfriend and should not be and you are also letting him take advantage. But you are letting it happen willingly if you are fronting money for anything but the meals out you willingly suggest.

    I think that you should do things with friends if it involves money to burn and do things with him when it is just simply enjoying eachother's company.

    If you want a guy to wine and dine you - then don't pick a broke college student.

    Your family is half right---the relationship isn't good not because he is a bad person but because you are expecting too much out of it and because you keep going back

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Stop giving him money and paying everything and see how "amazing" he continues being. Your family is right.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    He doesnt sound all that amazing to me. He's a mooch and you are a wallet. Time to put an end to that. Stop giving him money, you know you wont get it back. He needs a job, any job, so that he's earning some money and being useful rather than a sponge taking advantage of you.

  10. #9

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    This is exactly what i mean! I have a stable job and he doesn't. And i'm not in need of anything so i don't expect him to give me anything. He lives alone with his mom and grandma who are both in need of help so i admire him putting his family before his own needs.

    And whenever he has extra income he will try to do something nice for me, even if it's just a candy bar. And he has never asked me to pay or buy him anything, on the contrary he tries to avoid it.

    I guess the reason behind my doubts is that everyone around me keeps repeating to me that as a woman i should never pay and that he should be more able to buy me stuff... which i do NOT agree with. And i'm 90% sure that if he could, he would.

    It's just the loaning money that i'm still bothered with. He has apologized a million times and since i know how difficult things are at home i kind of let that thing slide.... we have spoken about it though.

    I'm just kind of confused. And the breakups were because i wasn't the best partner. I've made mistakes which hurt him

  11. #10
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    What mistakes?

    STOP giving him money! No more loans.

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