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Thread: Sex on first date

  1. #1
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    Sex on first date

    Is that a terrible idea, if I did that did I ruin the potential of him seeing me as long-term potential?

    I feel grossed out that I did it. And his interest seems waning. It could be that I wasn't attractive enough for him (he is very attractive) or that I was so easy that I slept with him the first date.

    Right now I feel terrible, I want to dig a hole and hide inside it.

    Please help.

    I now feel unattractive, but also easy, cheap.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You can't undo it so just relax. Are you still dating him?

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    You can't undo it so just relax. Are you still dating him?
    He did ask if I wanted to join him at a party the next night (he originally told me about) after the first date/ sex. I wasn't free to go.
    He isn't making too effort to text since our first date.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why didn't you suggest another get together?
    Originally Posted by blueowl32
    I wasn't free to go.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Why didn't you suggest another get together?
    that was the night after the first date. Also I don't want to be chasing or sounding eager when he's not even that interested to further the convo.

  7. #6
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    It simply means you know you made a mistake and next time you might make another choice. If he asked you to go to a party and you couldn't go, just ask him out on a date and make it a date that is public, stay sober and if you are not comfortable having sex again don't. Also I'd go and get checked for STDs asap just to make sure. And beating yourself up is counterproductive - it happened and after awhile that mindset of guilt etc is just self-indulgent when you could be out there doing fun/positive stuff.

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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    It simply means you know you made a mistake and next time you might make another choice. If he asked you to go to a party and you couldn't go, just ask him out on a date and make it a date that is public, stay sober and if you are not comfortable having sex again don't. Also I'd go and get checked for STDs asap just to make sure. And beating yourself up is counterproductive - it happened and after awhile that mindset of guilt etc is just self-indulgent when you could be out there doing fun/positive stuff.

    used a condom - should be ok?

    is it a mistake in the dating world to sleep with someone on a first date or is this personal question with no right or wrong answer?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How did you meet? Online? In a bar/club? Work/school? Don't worry about texting. Simply ask him out. Don't try to turn anyone into a text buddy o try to build rapport that way. It's a turn off.
    Originally Posted by blueowl32
    he's not even that interested to further the convo.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    s it a mistake in the dating world to sleep with someone on a first date or is this personal question with no right or wrong answer?
    It depends on what you're looking for.

    If you want a short term fling or a one night stand, then so be it. But if you're looking for a partner and an actual relationship than yes, sleeping with them on the first date is a good way to knock that option out of the park.

    They won't take you as seriously and will view you as a fling.

  11. #10
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    I slept with my xH the first night we met and we were together over 25 years (married for 22) so it can happen. But in general, yes, it's a bad idea--I wouldn't choose that approach again.

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