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What if...


Staceynw

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My best friend means the world to me however she has a tendency to get herself silly drunk some weekends and make poor decisions. This weekend she went out with another friend and ran into some lads that we went to school with, one of them being my ex that I have a long and hurtful history with. He is married with children now. My friend and my ex were friends at school and throughout the relationship afterwards so I have no issue with them being together in the pub or talking about me. My friend has always been on my side with what happened however she is a lovely and likeable person that did nothing wrong and therefore they are still friends. So I woke up the next morning to a missed call at 4.30am and she called back at 8 as I was getting ready for work. She asked if I was alone which surprised me as I had spoken to her the night before and she knew I was working the next day and getting an early night. I jokingly asked back if she was alone ans she responded with yes but someone didn’t wants me to be. This was my ex. She said he propositioned her(as I said he is now married with kids) she said she refused and they had mentioned me again. After telling me some of what was said she said she wished I had been out and asked me what I thought! I said it would have been nice to see them all but he clearly never had feelings for me to proposition my best friend - also he is married so what is he playing at anyway! As the conversation went on she said he was walking her home and it was just the two of them. Another friend that was driving that night saw them - gave them a lift and they all went to her house. She said she told the friend she was grateful he turned up and made him promise to take my ex home with he left! I went to work and it’s been popping into my head all day - would something have happened if the other friend hadn’t of turned back up? I feel sick with myself for thinking it. I want to know whether I am crazy for even considering it. Just to add I have no doubt that if something had happened she would have told me and felt awful about it - she just loses control of her drinking on nights out sometimes. I’m pretty sure I’m a horrible friend for thinking this and that I’m also a fool for even thinking what if as it never happened! Please tell me you think?

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Your friend needs to get control of her drinking. She is putting herself into a vulnerable and dangerous position. I hope you can candidly mention this to her and let her know you mean well.

 

As for your ex, you dodged a huge, huge bullet. He sounds like a loser who is going to cheat on his poor wife.

 

Thank your lucky stars you're nowhere near him.

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i think its your mind playing tricksies on you.

 

And no, your mind isn't playing tricks on you. This very well could have been a situation where they ended up in bed together.

 

It's good that your friend was honest with you, but it's not a game, she needs to control her drinking. She should also reconsider being around your ex. He sounds likes he's going to be spreading STD's around with cheating.

 

Not the best company to keep. I feel sorry for his wife.

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"What if" in this scenario is useless and counterproductive. At the end of the day she did the right thing and that is what counts. You have now more proof that he is a clown and you dodged a bullet. However, she needs to lay off the drinking and stop feeding off drama. Imo, there was no need to drag this out so much and she could have nip it earlier. In that aspect it sounds like drinking is indeed affecting her judgement rending her behaviour distasteful.

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