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Thread: That feeling of letting go.

  1. #1
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    That feeling of letting go.

    Happy New Years to everyone out there. Iíve recently went through a bad breakup. Iíve came to realization that my relationship is over and that thereís no hope of it coming back. Lately Iíve been experiencing feelings of letting go(best way I can describe it).

    Itís hard to imagine someone who was in your life for so long not being in it anymore now or in the future. I have completely cut all ties today so no contact will ever be made in the future(blocked on all social media, phone numbers, all loans paid off today). Itís so odd looking back on the promises and mistakes that where made in the relationship. The good times tho, they can get me sometimes. I wasnít ready for a relationship then or now(only been two months). I feel like Iím a child in ways and need to figure myself out.

    Still itís so weird sometimes. In the last two weeks Iíve been overhauling my thought processes and using positive thinking techniques. I focus on making myself the man I want to be now and less on a relationship tho I do miss the physical contact I had with my ex. I feel jealous and anger sometimes on how things went but ultimately I have to shoulder most of the fault. I have found success in over coming my anger and negative thinking over it tho. Childish behaviors from a grown man but I see them and I hope someday when Iím ready I can find someone to share a life with not control a person.

    Anyone understanding what Iím saying? Like you just live with it. You still think about it but you go on with life and focus on positive things? I feel like sometimes I get mad or jealous to try to keep a hold on it so I donít completely lose touch for her. Tho what I ultimately want from this is to learn and for her and me to achieve what we want in life. I felt like I had to block all forms of communication. I guess it was the right thing to do even tho it shouldnít be important anyway. Why do I feel that need to? I guess itís to have some control in the breakup Idk I guess Iím still processing things.

    I want to look back at this relationship not as a happy one (worst breakups of all time list worthy) but a necessary one. We had ALOT of great times and strong feelings and it ended in my opinion(at the time) when we where as strong as ever... I was wrong..

    I do want to hear from her again but.... I sit and think what will we achieve from ever talking again or seeing each otherís stuff again online again? Some ďhow are youís?Ē, ďHowíve you been and hope itís all working out?Ē. That doesnít really appeal to me which Iím sure itís the same for her and sheís probably, most likely not even thinking about me or that at all. Which all makes this seem like a waste of mental energy about thinking of something that I have no control over and doesnít help me better myself at all.

    Idk just ranting a bit I guess. Itís a weird feeling, feeling yourself letting go when you donít want to.

  2. #2
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    Unfortunately when you've been dumped by a person you care a lot about, all of the control has been given to the other person. It's like you're on a runaway train and the only person who can stop it - the conductor- has hopped off at the last station. The good news is it's only temporary.

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by Austino96
    ..sheís probably, most likely not even thinking about me or that at all.
    If you have been in a long relationship the dumper (I'm guessing she was) might feel relieved at first, especially if you did something bad that caused the break-up.

    But she will think of you from time to time - humans are curious animals. Doesn't mean she is rethinking anything though.

    Which all makes this seem like a waste of mental energy about thinking of something that I have no control over and doesnít help me better myself at all.
    This is true. There is no point worrying about what you can't control.

    But, given you have just started NC, I doubt you are "letting go" in the sense of moving on at this point. You are starting a journey, not arriving at the destination.

    Best to focus on the process, and if you feel like breaking NC, post here instead.

    Good luck.
    Last edited by RayRay63; 01-05-2019 at 09:12 PM. Reason: split infinitives

  4. #4
    Bronze Member holymoseph's Avatar
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    I am going through those mixed emotions myself. Knowing the relationship is best over and all the hurt that brought it there and yet still missing his arms around me and the intimacy and the time we spend together. It's frustrating and conflicting and it makes me feel restless and discontent because my emotions are not in sync with eachother. He just unblocked me but I'm thinking about blocking him. Reminders just hinder the progress of getting over him.

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  6. #5
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    She started dating her best friend the same day. Iím just trying to forgive and work on myself.


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