Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 5 of 5 FirstFirst ... 2345
Results 41 to 50 of 50

Thread: Is my ex gay?

  1. #41
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    36,328
    Gender
    Female
    Sure you can go home to Canada and work some place else.
    Originally Posted by sadchick83
    Cant go back to Canada because I have a professional designation that is only recognized in the US.

  2. #42
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    4,185
    Interesting...

    Didnít you also say all this other girlfriends signed non disclosures as well?

    Also why say you canít go back to Canada when you did shortly after the breakup according to your other post, also arenít you in Florida now?

    Also how did you Ďoutí him when you arenít even sure and he never confirmed?

  3. #43
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Age
    44
    Posts
    2,162
    Gender
    Female
    His 2nd ex wife signed one. I went back to Canada only for 2 months or so, I was pretty sure I would be taking the job in Florida at the time. I can go back to Canada, but 3 years of graduate school and 2 years of work in the US has me tied here for work unless I want to do something like work in retail or similar. It was the first time I ever actually point blank asked him. I had never brought it up before.

  4. #44
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    3,915
    So he is gay? Did I miss something?

  5.  

  6. #45
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    5,377
    Personally, I would go back to Canada. To heck with being in prison due to him, the dog and work...at some point you need to say enough is enough.

    It sounds as though you have more heartache where you are than anything good.

    If he is gay then yes, he messed your life over and there is no excuse for that. Although you did say there was good times and love involved, so it's not all a sham.

    It sounds like you're going through a large amount of heartache and the worst of it, you've allowed yourself to be shut away.

    It really is up to you, but I would sincerely advise you to go home. There is nothing but misery there for you right now.

  7. #46
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    36,328
    Gender
    Female
    Yup, I would come home.

  8. #47
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Age
    44
    Posts
    2,162
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Personally, I would go back to Canada. To heck with being in prison due to him, the dog and work...at some point you need to say enough is enough.

    It sounds as though you have more heartache where you are than anything good.

    If he is gay then yes, he messed your life over and there is no excuse for that. Although you did say there was good times and love involved, so it's not all a sham.

    It sounds like you're going through a large amount of heartache and the worst of it, you've allowed yourself to be shut away.

    It really is up to you, but I would sincerely advise you to go home. There is nothing but misery there for you right now.
    This post nails it. Iíve still got some time on the lease I signed here and still paying for the lease in NYC...costing me a ridiculous amount of money. What irks me most is that he tossed me some money at the end and assumes that should fix everything - including the initial move to the US for which I gave up a pension, car, business, friends and a home I owned.

    Now I miss my Mom so much. She is in her 80s now and not being with her hurts the most. So that is why I cry, I gave it all up for a closeted man.

    If things donít improve over the next few months, I will leave when my lease is up here.

  9. #48
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    2,733
    While I agree that if he's gay, then it turns out you were his beard all this time, and he basically hid behind you.

    You've still never answered my original question:

    Why did you stay for so long? Why did you stay in a loveless, sexless relationship for years?

    You are still focusing on him and all his wrongs. Yes, if he was lying to you by being gay, he's a jerk. OK, cool, we all agree. That still keeps the focus on him.

    What about YOU????

  10. #49
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Location
    California
    Posts
    119
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    What difference does it make other than gossip? He and she are over. What he does in his own time now, is his business, truthfully.

    Op, you need to change your focus and concentrate on yourself, healing, and moving forward. It won't help resenting your ex and finding reasons to hate on him or put him down.
    It will end up holding you back.

    It really doesn't matter at this point if your ex is gay, straight, with someone else, or an alien. Let it go and move forward.

    Better days are ahead for you.
    THIS!!!
    1000% true

  11. #50
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    21,945
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by sadchick83
    At the moment, I am going through an extremely deep depression. Not sure what is going on with me and unfortunately I have basically no heath insurance at the moment and cannot speak to a professional. I made the mistake of moving for work so I am here in a small town with no friends, no family and my dog is having extreme separation anxiety, so I cannot leave my apartment without her going nuts (I signed something that says the dog will not be a nuisance or she will be confiscated - she goes to doggie daycare during the work week so basically from Friday night to Monday morning I cannot leave the apartment without her). I am basically in prison and going crazy rehashing this relationship. Iíve never felt so lonely ion my life.
    You and the dog are spiraling one another. She's likely picking up your state and reflecting it. Consider contacting local animal shelters for a referral to someone who can help you train her and manage her behavior. Explain that you're at risk of losing her to a shelter without help, and most shelters don't want that to happen, either, so they may help you to manage the problem at minimal cost.

    So how are you currently managing the dog while working? What is the occupation you're unable to transfer back to Canada, and why does your employer not provide medical insurance? Does your employer have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP)? Have you factored the cost of insurance and treatment as a benefit you'll gain in Canada that you don't have now? Might it not be a good idea to consider a move home, at least temporarily, so you can be with your Mom, get the help you need, then work out the career stuff over time?

    You're aware that ruminating over the ex isn't productive, so consider making a plan to get yourself healthy and provide you with goals you can move TOWARD. Stagnation keeps you stuck in rumination, which only drills you a deeper hole to climb out of. Contact local hospitals for a referral to a social worker who can recommend the resources to help you manage all the aspects of your life that have you feeling stuck.

    (((HUG)))

Page 5 of 5 FirstFirst ... 2345

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •