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Thread: Is my ex gay?

  1. #1
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    Is my ex gay?

    So not only do I have had to deal with a very upsetting break up, but in addition to the mind fu*k that that gave me, I am almost certain my ex is gay. After 6.5 years, he only initiated sex a handful of times. No sex for the last 2 years of the relationship. Someone told me he did the same with his ex wife - hadnít touched her during the last 2 years of their relationship. Was never pervy or checked out women. He seemed to have number of man crushes. He was a really bad kisser and never really wanted to watch Miss America pagents or Victoria Secrets swim suit shows. What do you think?

    When we broke up he said ďwell you know Iíve always been sexually insecure.Ē As an excuse for our lack of sex life. Is this for real? Or is he gay?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Seriously? You think the things you mentioned, means he's possibly gay? Ummm..no.

    It means he's not a perv and might have a low sex drive. I highly doubt he's gay from the things you said.

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    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Congrats, youíre entering the anger stage of grief.

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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Congrats, youíre entering the anger stage of grief.
    That made me chuckle. Thanks for that!
    But seriously now...Nothing except the "male crush" thing indicates that he is gay.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    He may be gay or he may have a low sex drive or something else. The thing is that trying to "diagnose" him is a waste of your time and energy. It's pointless. The important bit is that you two are incompatible and luckily he is no longer part of your life. If he has done this to other women, it's him, not you that has the problem. Wasting more emotional energy on trying to figure him out is pointless and a waste of your time. Just be thankful you escaped his toxic pattern. He was not enough for you. End of story.

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    He may of been trying to keep up that image of being a straight man. He might of even been trying to be straight but realized he couldnít do it or ultimately didnít like it.

    I feel for the guy because itís sad when someone has such an inner issue or afraid of being who they are like that and feels that they need to hide it or be ashamed of it.

    Honestly could be a low sex drive but in my opinion for that long I doubt it. Some people can be a little bi sexual but ultimately find one sex more attractive. Societal standards may confuse their choice on who they date and see but as far as attraction goes then... that canít really be changed. He might be self conscious and have a hard time trusting or just maybe not into physical contact.

    Donít see it as something personal if he is gay. Sex is very important to a relationship it wouldnít of worked out anyway. Youíll be fine.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    I've heard of several low sex drive men who weren't gay. The only think that could indicate that are the male crushes, but I see no hard evidence on what you said.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I agree with Annia and also figureitout. I don't think what you mentioned means he's gay, however it does sound as though you're angry and still healing over the break up.

    It's not a bad thing to go through the mourning stages, just don't stay there.

    As someone else mentioned, whatever the problem was, you and he were not compatible and luckily you won't have to worry about him anymore or what his lifestyle choices are.

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    How do you define a man crush?....

    Is he infatuated with Joe that runs past his house ever morning and he always comments on Joe's big package and tight butt, or a successful pubic figure.

    If it's the latter, most straight men admire (sometimes passionately) other men for things like sporting prowess, business success or even general physical attributes.

    Travis Pastrana is my man crush atm
    ; )

  11. #10
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    How do you define a man crush?....
    What difference does it make other than gossip? He and she are over. What he does in his own time now, is his business, truthfully.

    Op, you need to change your focus and concentrate on yourself, healing, and moving forward. It won't help resenting your ex and finding reasons to hate on him or put him down.
    It will end up holding you back.

    It really doesn't matter at this point if your ex is gay, straight, with someone else, or an alien. Let it go and move forward.

    Better days are ahead for you.

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