75% My Husbands Family is truly evil and its causing me to go into a depression!

I have been with my husband for over 4 years. We have two kids. I love him but lately his family is so bad I'm starting to feel lost and zoned out when i'm with him.

My husbands Brother has married a very conniving woman. This woman has been evil and a snake to me since the first day I met her. I have the type of energy that when I meet someone I sadly can see their intentions before they even speak. I feel she has some kind of intuitive energy as well and didn't like me reading her. For those of you who don't believe in that type of gift/curse take that with a grain of salt.

The moment I came on the scene this evil girl used to throw herself at my husband and I caught on to it. The moment she knew I was on to her, she began going to my husbands family (A family of 7 women) all his aunts, and telling them I'm crazy and I'm making her uncomfortable. She said I don't speak to her and that my husband doesn't speak to her much anymore.

I didn't catch it than but I see it now, she was very clever in this accusation. She tied up any loose ends. So even though I knew she was not only flashing her underwear at one point in his direction (I know insane but 100% accurate) I finally brought it to his attention after years of dealing with it. She has lied to me so much and on me so much it makes me sick to even write this. I have confronted her over 3 times asking her what her issue Is with me and she literally told me "I don't know it was just a vibe I got!".

A Vibe!! Is this lunatic serious? So all of these rumors and lies on me over a "Vibe?".

His Mother is possibly the rudest, sneakiest, lying, master manipulator and user I have ever met. She literally would go behind me in my trash can and complain that I didn't break boxes down. She pretended to befriend me once upon a time and like an idiot I thought I could trust her, so I would vent to her about said sister in law wearing see through clothing and that she was bending over in front of my now husband. The Mother laughed it off like it was funny. I found out a year and half later the Mother in law was running back to this girl and telling her every single insecurity or fear I had. Than it was another Aunt who got involved and all of these women protecting this lying little snake while making me feel completely out casted. It got so bad me and her almost went to blows many years back because I had enough of her mouth. I don't understand why they can't see that I'm a good person and she is a lying snake. Has anyone ever dealt with this? This feels so bad. And anytime I come around and try to be nice you can feel the tension. They hate my guts. Somehow they like the floosy who tries to play "Legends of the fall" and sleeps with all the brothers but the loyal hard working woman who has literally no ill intent is treated like crap.

I only want to know if anyone has ever dealt with this. I feel so alone. I feel so misunderstood and I feel this is all about how I married the man she wanted but couldn't get. She is a very deep toned female and I'm lighter. She has made comments about my color and my age on numerous occasions. She is so odd. She will text me and when I respond she wont respond for hours. The same day if she text him and he responds she responds immediately.

I know in my soul she is obsessed with me and my husband and wishes me all evil. Why is she so jealous? I know I'll get cold responses about "Why do you care". Let me tell you something, if any of you ever dealt with this, you would lose your mind. I don't care how strong you think you are. This type of bullying and sabotage would eat away at your soul. If I was evil I don't think I would care, but i'm not built that way . I've fallen on my face and prayed for God to remove any feeling I have and to not allow this to hurt me. No dice.

She told me that she thinks I'm "fake" . What I found really interesting about that is I barely speak to her. I avoid her at all cost because her energy makes me sick. She in 4 years has barely spoken 100 sentences. I also wear my emotions on my sleeve and my face. Fake? I think she can't find much to go with so she chose the only thing her simple mind could make up.

p.s. Others have also seen how she flirts with my husband and the other brothers as well. Another wife who married the youngest brother also feels shes weird. She and her don't get along either. Just thought i'd toss this out there to anyone thinking "maybe its you". Its not me. It seems to be anyone the family finds any fault with almost as if its for sport.

I'm tired of seeing these people at family functions. I don't want to be near them.

P.S.S. I notice anyone who is white or Hispanic or decent looking she seems to have an issue with them and starts on her smear campaign . Its easy in his family to be ganged up on. Its sick. I hate it.

I forgot to mention that she attended my wedding ( I didn't even want her there, and she tried to invite his ex girlfriend to it. In addition her and two others wore white at MY wedding. The only change in that plan is My Mother and Cousins came and they were not having it. My Mother told her off. She was wearing white and taking notes while I was saying my vows. I swear to you my Mother gave her a coming to Jesus talk. That's the first time I've ever seen her quiet. My mother told her, if you keep messing with Starr, Starr is going to hurt you little girl, and i'm gonna let her. What these lunatics don't know is If forced I could take down at least three of them alone. She doesn't know my past at all. I was bullied most of my life and when I fight back , its an awful site. I don't want to go back to the old me. They don't know it because I'm now older and non-violent. I fear this lunatic is going to keep testing me and i'm going to end up snapping. Someone help me before I end up in Cell Block B!

Is this the same husband/fiance?

01-17-2018:

 

I'm terrified to marry this man. I didn't mention before that the fiancé is on pain killers for his back. Over two years hes been on them and our relationship has been horrible since. He is so moody and evil. He is insensitive and just a jerk.

Yes . However we went to over 6 months of Counceling and he is clean and sober and a better person all around . Maybe now you can answer my actual post ? Or not .Thanks.

A tiger just change its stripes in 6 months. But let's suppose he did... have you communicated this with him? What's his opinion?

A tiger ? Anyone can change if they want to . Half a year sober is amazing and I’m proud of him .

He’s doing his part being distant . He’s also stood up for me many times . He doesn’t like it anymore than me. He avoids her but she’s aggressive.

He can only avoid his own mom so much . He and I have talked about this in depth .

The issue is , this bullying and passive aggressive tactic bothers me . They always want to see him and I have had to take this some due to wanting him to be happy .

So why would you be mad at her over her taking action on a “vibe” when you yourself believe in that?

Because I have never mistreated her or lied on her or attacked her over my first initial feelings . I tried to get to know her . It was years later that I began speaking to the MIL about my experiences with her.

Why do I need to defend myself here ? Why am I being asked about post from January , and given no advice but only asked questions and not actually given any positive feedback ? No one has any life experience to share ? No one can give Encouragent?

I am actually really concerned about the lack of actual “ advice “I’ve seen. Did I come to the wrong site ? When anyone comes here they are already coming because they feel vulnerable. They need advice . Not judgment . I pray I’ve never responded to anyone in Any way to make them feel worse than they already did coming here .

Sorry it's confusing because he is your "soon to be ex-fiance" and now he is your husband of 4 years with kids? It must be the same guy because the issues with his family seem to have been there and persist. All you can do is distance yourself and have airtight boundaries.

01-14-2018:

 

I've been with my soon to be ex-Fiance for over 4 years. His brother has a woman now his wife who has had a thing for him for years. She has spread rumors about me. She has bent over in front of my Fiance showing her panties

Before counseling I saw no hope. The couple who counseled us saved our entire relationship. I have set boundaries . Major ones. What I’m asking is if anyone else has dealt with In law issues like this . I need to know how to not allow this to hurt me. She irritates me so badly and it makes me Ill.

Wiseman do you always dig up old posts and re post them for everyone to see? What’s your actual motive with this? I feel literally judged

The response differs if you are with someone else or if this is the same guy/same family but you are simply calling him fiance, ex fiance, husband, etc. Judged about what?

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/43oz6x/ive_about_had_it_why_are_relationship_advice/#ampf=undefined

Looks like I’m not alone in feeling this way!

Your posting history is relevant to advice.

And I asked because it seemed relevant

All you can do is avoid them.

I have the type of energy that when I meet someone I sadly can see their intentions before they even speak. I feel she has some kind of intuitive energy as well and didn't like me reading her.

You don't. She doesn't.

For those of you who don't believe in that type of gift/curse take that with a grain of salt.

I also wear my emotions on my sleeve and my face.

This woman has been evil and a snake to me since the first day I met her.

Yeah, sorry. It's hard to imagine some lady just going around family parties blasting all the husbands with star power from her panties and dropping pencils all over the carpet in front of folks. Doesn't really matter if you found Samantha to gossip to and agree with about her. The fact you're chit-chatting with folks (never mind your husband's mother-- really??) behind her back at all about how much of a conniving snake she is and her "see through clothing" means you'd be in great company with her, assuming any accuracy to your account.

Honestly, at the very worst, it doesn't sound like you're much of a victim at all here, and that she simply outplayed you in your territory grab. But just as likely, if not more so, it could be she's from day one been reacting to Miss Cleo "wearing her emotions on her sleeve" and glaring at her like she's vile, conniving, a snake, and whatever other dehumanizing descriptors you'd like to throw in there.

I don't know what advice you're seeking. You're not Bill Paxton (PBUH) and this ain't Frailty. If you want to believe the devil has cursed you with this "truly evil" family and this "snake" of a sister-in-law, that's your prerogative. But it's not a context we can responsibly center advice on. I'd talk to your priest about snakes and your apparent super powers.

You don't. She doesn't.

 

I will, and I'll take the rest of the thread with one as well.

 

 

So you've regarded this woman as "evil" and a "snake" from day one, admit yourself that you wear your emotions on a sleeve, yet you're perplexed she picked up the "vibe?"

 

Yeah, sorry. It's hard to imagine some lady just going around family parties blasting all the husbands with star power from her panties and dropping pencils all over the carpet in front of folks. Doesn't really matter if you found Samantha to gossip to and agree with about her. The fact you're chit-chatting with folks (never mind your husband's mother-- really??) behind her back at all about how much of a conniving snake she is and her "see through clothing" means you'd be in great company with her, assuming any accuracy to your account.

 

Honestly, at the very worst, it doesn't sound like you're much of a victim at all here, and that she simply outplayed you in your territory grab. But just as likely, if not more so, it could be she's from day one been reacting to Miss Cleo "wearing her emotions on her sleeve" and glaring at her like she's vile, conniving, a snake, and whatever other dehumanizing descriptors you'd like to throw in there.

 

I don't know what advice you're seeking. You're not Bill Paxton (PBUH) and this ain't Frailty. If you want to believe the devil has cursed you with this "truly evil" family and this "snake" of a sister-in-law, that's your prerogative. But it's not a context we can responsibly center advice on. I'd talk to your priest about snakes and your apparent super powers.

I second this, not sure what advice that can be given, if you truly believe your husbands family is evil and youre a spiritual person, well you get away from the evil, very easy solution, I think thats like a rule even, you stay away from evil.

If youre one with a flare for dramatics and extremes, well, this board can serve as your echo chamber but thats about it. Theres no advice to be given.

Before counseling I saw no hope. The couple who counseled us saved our entire relationship. I have set boundaries . Major ones. What I’m asking is if anyone else has dealt with In law issues like this . I need to know how to not allow this to hurt me. She irritates me so badly and it makes me Ill.

We've all dealt with issues like this and it all starts with taking inventory of your own attitudes and behaviors. Blaming everyone else without ever looking at what your part in this will only give your power away to them.

If you want to take your power back, you need to take responsibility for your part and change what you are doing. Treat her as you would want to be treated. You have judged her without ever getting to know her... you have gossiped about her behind her back with your husbands family... both things you have said you get very hurt by when she does that to you. There is nothing you can do about the fact that she is flirting with your husband except talk to her and him about it and then let it go... she will change it or she won't. There is nothing you can do about the fact that his family doesn't like you right now except look at your part and stop spending time with them until this passes. The only thing you can change is you.

P.S. I do believe in the power of intuition however I don't believe we were gifted with this power so it could be used as a way to determine who someone is before ever getting to know them.

I have distanced myself to outrageous in law behavior, but continually assess my own reactions first. In the end, I chose to be distant, though willing to help if called. Whatever happens, be tactfully respectful when spoken to, and pick and choose your battles. It will rub off on them.

All of you are drama. You were also talking about her. You are just as bad!

You're upset because someone said you didn't break boxes. Really! You need to make your life more full!

Something tells me that you have a problem with a lot of folks!

You don't. She doesn't.

 

I will, and I'll take the rest of the thread with one as well.

 

 

So you've regarded this woman as "evil" and a "snake" from day one, admit yourself that you wear your emotions on a sleeve, yet you're perplexed she picked up the "vibe?"

 

Yeah, sorry. It's hard to imagine some lady just going around family parties blasting all the husbands with star power from her panties and dropping pencils all over the carpet in front of folks. Doesn't really matter if you found Samantha to gossip to and agree with about her. The fact you're chit-chatting with folks (never mind your husband's mother-- really??) behind her back at all about how much of a conniving snake she is and her "see through clothing" means you'd be in great company with her, assuming any accuracy to your account.

 

Honestly, at the very worst, it doesn't sound like you're much of a victim at all here, and that she simply outplayed you in your territory grab. But just as likely, if not more so, it could be she's from day one been reacting to Miss Cleo "wearing her emotions on her sleeve" and glaring at her like she's vile, conniving, a snake, and whatever other dehumanizing descriptors you'd like to throw in there.

 

I don't know what advice you're seeking. You're not Bill Paxton (PBUH) and this ain't Frailty. If you want to believe the devil has cursed you with this "truly evil" family and this "snake" of a sister-in-law, that's your prerogative. But it's not a context we can responsibly center advice on. I'd talk to your priest about snakes and your apparent super powers.

LOL! You are on a roll!

So, you call her a lunatic because she said she felt a "vibe" from you...but you're not a lunatic for feeling a "vibe" from her???

Is your "vibe" detector somehow more valid than her "vibe" detector?

So, you call her a lunatic because she said she felt a "vibe" from you...but you're not a lunatic for feeling a "vibe" from her???

 

Is your "vibe" detector somehow more valid than her "vibe" detector?

This thread just got incredibly dirty.

"A Vibe!! Is this lunatic serious? So all of these rumors and lies on me over a "Vibe?". "

She's the one who brought the vibe into the conversation, not me!

I have reported these aggressive responses for review .

I came here for support . What I’ve received is aggression and attacks . This situation I needed help about is nothing to laugh about . I’m going to wait for mediation on this matter.