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Thread: Should I pull back and give her space?

  1. #1
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    Should I pull back and give her space?

    So thereís this girl Iíve been dating from my job. She started about a year ago and I always found her attractive. Iíve been hearing from co workers that she thinks Iím cute and finds me very attractive. I acted on that right away and asked her for her number. First date went well and I then set a second date a week later, on the second date, we went out for dinner and drove in to the middle of no where in my truck, laid on the back bed and stargazed and talked. I then made a move that night and we started making out. 2 weeks after I ask her to come over to my place to have some drinks. I will add sheís the easiest girl I have ever set dates with, never an issue. She came over, we hung out, drank and had amazing sex. Two weeks after that, I tried asking/suggesting we hang out a couple times (hangout as in go out, no Netflix and chill at my house again) , but now she either ignores or changes the subject. But she is still super cool towards me at work and still talks to me via phone. Was she just looking for a one time thing? How should I handle this? Am I over pursuing? Should I walk away? I really like this girl. Anything would help.
    Last edited by Mrgreenjeans; 10-10-2019 at 05:21 PM.

  2. #2
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    I would say mimick her behavior. If what you want is to go on dates and she doesn't want that, then there is no point in meeting her half way. Maybe this will encourage her to go out with you.

  3. #3
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    This is what I thinking. I think I will do that. I strictly use the phone for setting dates. I donít want to be her male girlfriend talking on the phone. Thank you for your reply.

  4. #4
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    But he isnít trying to date her. He suggests they ďhang out,Ē which usually means Netflix and sex. If you want an actual relationship ask her out for something specific that isnít your house.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Are you making it clear that it's going out on dates? She may be backpedaling a bit.
    Originally Posted by Mrgreenjeans
    Two weeks after that, I tried asking/suggesting we hang out a couple times but now she either ignores or changes the subject. But she is still super cool towards me at work and still talks to me via phone.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It sounds like it moved quickly. She's not certain about dating you and having sex with you again or spending more time together might confuse your friendship. Get to know each other in the work space and let her text/message you (she should initiate some texts if she's interested in seeing you outside of work). If you don't see her initiating any calls or texts or seeming interested in seeing you outside of the office or at work, this is not working out.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    You asked her twice in a row to go do something with you and she chose not to. Whether that be a friend or a romantic interest, you then should respect the fact that the ball is now in their court to ask you to do something, and if that doesn't happen, let the friendship or romance fade away.

    A person's actions as well as non-actions will tell you exactly what you need to know. In this case, it's not going to happen how you envisioned. You're not a priority. She's probably too cowardly to tell you she's not feeling the chemistry she needs to continue on with you, or whatever her reason. Just treat her like any other co-worker now, and no more than that, because that's what she is.

  9. #8
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    I'd just back off. You invited her for 2 dates & she said no. Take that as lack of continued interest. Be professional at work but stop pursuing her.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    You asking her over sounds more like an invitation to hook up. Are you opposed to taking her out to dinner or are you just looking for a fwb?
    Last edited by reinventmyself; 10-10-2019 at 06:49 PM.

  11. #10
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    I'm kinda curious as to why you ask her out every two weeks? I would think that if you were really interested, it would have been for the following week. Was she clear that these dates were not at your house again?

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