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Thread: BF obsessed with ex.

  1. #221
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    Originally Posted by irka000
    I am sorry you are going through this. I really I am. I recently discovered that my boyfriend of one year texts another woman. I was told they used to work together. I love him but wouldn't be able to be with him now. Wondering if they chatting at night etc. I must say I am quite shocked how strong you are.
    I wouldn't be able to torture myself like this.
    What is your threshold here ? What needs to happen for you to have enough.
    Mine chosen communication with her over me. He lied to me over it. He also gave her green light to send him hearts etc this was enough for me
    I wish you quick recovery from this.
    Thank you so much, I wish you the best with this too and that you recover super fast and put it all behind you!

  2. #222
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Reyhoney
    So if I stay and talk about it is ruminating but if I stop talking about it itís me throwing a tantrum cause Iím not being indulged? Right Dr. Phil?

    What do you want me to talk about? Exchanging recipes?

    It is very revealing actually, cause I was out on Friday night having fun and youíre here on my thread willing to act like a therapist. 👏 😂
    Have you ever heard the phrase: a hit dog will holler?

    You are throwing a tantrum right now and attempting to insult me by inferring I have no life while yours is amazing, but... well... you have this issue....

    FWIW, I am not Dr. Phil, just someone whoís been in similar dating catastrophes and a bad marriage, Iíve been there as well as been through therapy, you asked for advice and were subsequently given it. Also...I wrote my response to you at 7:00 am, I wasnít posting Friday night because I was working.

    You ruminating on Ďwhy herí is whatís keeping you stuck and most likely what has kept you with him all this time, you are competing with her, you always have been.

    Youíre absolutely right staying here discussing it as nauseum isnít going to help, but you canít change what you donít acknowledge. Dr.Phil actually does say that one.

  3. #223
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    So we broke up not long ago and guess what? Theyíre back together.

    Not ruminating, not throwing tantrums, just thought Iíd update you on how the story ended, just in case another woman in my shoes stumbles upon this while looking for answers.

  4. #224
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    Hope you're okay. He was no prize and treated you horribly so it's no loss. Move forward and learn from it ok? NEVER put up with such disrespect again. It was absolutely ridiculous and sad. Be thankful you no longer have to deal with unease and are no longer wasting more time. 😌

    Also, being defensive and attacking others always makes you look bad, that was immature and petty.

    How did you find out about them getting together?

  5.  

  6. #225
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Reyhoney
    So we broke up not long ago and guess what? Theyíre back together.

    Not ruminating, not throwing tantrums, just thought Iíd update you on how the story ended, just in case another woman in my shoes stumbles upon this while looking for answers.
    Now that you know, you can get on with moving forward and seeing what the future holds.

    I'm glad this man is out of your life, he wasn't good for you. How cool that you're now free and available to find a guy who is the right one!

  7. #226
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    Hello again!

    Iím not sure if you all still remember me!

    Just wanted to update (not sure everyone who replied to me even still checks in here)

    Iíve been in therapy for the entire last year and Iím doing so so much better. I learned a lot about myself. I look back and I feel sad for my old self, itís hard to even reread my older posts. Iíve been dating for about 6 months and we are still not living together, Iím trying to make better decisions. Heís the best human.

    Also one last update. I unblocked my ex out of curiosity as I was feeling over it and guess what? Theyíre married, and sheís pregnant. Heís smiling with all teeth showing with her, unlike our couples photos that he was hardly even curling his lips for a smile.

    In a weird way I feel bad for him too, if he was that in love with her he should have tried to get back to her instead of date around, maybe he didnít have the guts to tell her that, or admit he regretted the breakup. I wish he did, for all of us.. myself included.

    Iím so thankful for all the replies I got on here, even the harsh ones. It was so hard to see beyond my pain and my heartache. I think the colder he got the more I wanted to hold tight. Panic mode. I was jealous of the ex because I felt like she had a spell over his entire being, not just a sex thing.

    I hope youíre all doing well!

  8. #227
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Wait at least a year before even considering moving in with someone.

    Take your time getting to know this guy.

    Living together is not a step toward anything, as you painfully found out. It only made you too invested too cut your losses sooner.

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