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Thread: Is this guy just screwing with me URGENT!!!

  1. #1

    Is this guy just screwing with me URGENT!!!

    In August 2018 I met a guy on tinder. We talked for a couple days and my friends and I ended up going over to his house to a get together he was having. We talked for hours, laughed and realized we had a lot in common.

    As I left he kissed me and asked for my number (we had only
    Talked over Snapchat until then). The next night he asked me to come back over. We both played college sports and enjoy the same things. The attraction was very much there and we ended up hooking up. He didnít try to do anything with me but was excepting when things started getting heated
    . After that we started hanging out at least three times a week. Every time he would go out with his friends he would call me late at night 5 or 6 times.
    After hanging out for a month I began to question what things were between us and he said that he had just gotten out of a long relationship and that he was only stationed in my town for flight school so he wasnít looking for a relationship.
    We continue to hangout like normal, he gets mad when I hangout with other people. And says he doesnít hangout with other people.

    After a couple months I asked him again what things were and he told me that ďhe didnít want to be wishy washy and he cared about me beyond belief, he didnít plan on hanging out with me after the initial time we hung out. so anything could happen but he still wasnít necissarilly looking for a relationship because it wasnít the right time. He said not to change myself because I was perfect. he didnít know if he would ever want anything more with me but he doesnít want to lose me. after that I quit talking to him for a day and he texted me 50 times very upset.
    The whole time this guy has taken me on dates and Iíve met all his friends. But he still doesnít want a relationship. Itís been 5 months now. he returned back to Alaska (his home town) for two weeks for Christmas break and kept up with me the whole time he was away.
    While he was gone I waited for him. he told me he liked me while he was away and when came back we hung out for 4 days non stop.

    Iím completely fine with how things are but, when he goes out to the bar with his friends they always go on hunts for other girls. also, I know he still uses tinder but told
    Me he would delete dating apps if it made me happy and we could have a good ďfriendshipĒ.

    He talks about going out and finding hot chicks with his friends in front of me. And never invites me to the bar. Although, he Talks to me and letís me know what heís doing all the time but will only hangout with me Sunday-Friday. When itís time to go
    Out he never invites me. Sometimes heíll hangout with his married friends but never invites me as his plus one, always goes by himself. Heís about to leave again for three weeks and will not have his phone at all because it is a military thing. Should I ask him before he leaves tomorrow if I should wait
    On him? He automatically assumes Iím going to but if he doesnít want anything but to string me along that would be a good time to use to get over him
    Last edited by Bailee9876; 01-03-2019 at 08:15 PM.

  2. #2
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    Bailee, can you please break this up into paragraphs?

    Itís hard to read.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Why are you meeting strangers at their house on the first meet/date?

    He's already told you he doesn't want a relationship. He's not screwing you around. He told you clearly he didn't want a relationship and he's still choosing to be single (tinder, girl hunting at bars, no commitment, etc) . It's up to you to decide what you want to do with that information. If you want a relationship, he's not the right choice for it, so you need to leave him.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    He talks about going out and finding hot chicks with his friends in front of me.
    Where is your pride and your self-respect, hun?

    He has told you twice now that he doesn't want a relationship, he's disrespected you as quoted above yet you are here asking us if you should wait for him?

    Please don't. He's still on Tinder and he keeps telling you he's not wanting you for a girlfriend. Don't wait one minute longer for the likes of him.

    To his credit he has been very honest with you, you just haven't been listening.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Originally Posted by Annia
    Why are you meeting strangers at their house on the first meet/date?

    He's already told you he doesn't want a relationship. He's not screwing you around. He told you clearly he didn't want a relationship and he's still choosing to be single (tinder, girl hunting at bars, no commitment, etc) . It's up to you to decide what you want to do with that information. If you want a relationship, he's not the right choice for it, so you need to leave him.
    I met him at his house and he told me to
    Bring friends with me if I wanted, I took a few friends and we went over

  7. #6
    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Where is your pride and your self-respect, hun?

    He has told you twice now that he doesn't want a relationship, he's disrespected you as quoted above yet you are here asking us if you should wait for him?

    Please don't. He's still on Tinder and he keeps telling you he's not wanting you for a girlfriend. Don't wait one minute longer for the likes of him.

    To his credit he has been very honest with you, you just haven't been listening.
    I guess I took him being honest with me as being a good guy. I just get confused and caught up because he jokes a lot about other girls, as I joke about other guys. All of his friends refer to me as his girlfriend. And he acts like we date. But when it comes down to the actual commitment, itís not there. He treats me better than anyone has. And cooks me dinner, has wine, spends every day with me. But also, I obviously have my blinders on and only see what I want to.

  8. #7
    Originally Posted by milly007
    Bailee, can you please break this up into paragraphs?

    Itís hard to read.
    I put into paragraphs!

  9. #8
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    He does not see a future with you. You are a FWB. I hope you used a condom.

    If you want a bf, then ditch this guy. Expect more from people!

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by Bailee9876
    I guess I took him being honest with me as being a good guy. I just get confused and caught up because he jokes a lot about other girls, as I joke about other guys. All of his friends refer to me as his girlfriend. And he acts like we date. But when it comes down to the actual commitment, itís not there. He treats me better than anyone has. And cooks me dinner, has wine, spends every day with me. But also, I obviously have my blinders on and only see what I want to.
    "Although, he Talks to me and letís me know what heís doing all the time but will only hangout with me Sunday-Friday. "

    Which is is? He spends every day with you or he will only see you Sunday through Friday? And he contacts you late at night after going out with his friends? And he never invites you to go to the bars with him and his friends?

    You are Ms. Right Now. You are a fun person for him to spend time and have sex with, but nothing more than that. And he's told you so, more than once.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    He told you straight: you are awesome, and he doesn't want to lose you. Yes he likes you and enjoys you, but NO, he is not trying to date you or be exclusive with you.

    You did NOT tell him straight: You want to be with someone who desires you in all aspects of his life. Someone who wants to share weekends with you, group outings with you, vacations with you. Someone who wants you and who doesn't want anyone else.

    Why haven't you told him? Because you will lose him. Because you already know that he is not that man. You do not want to lose him, yet you do not have what you want. Either you bet on yourself and your ability to have what you want in life, or you accept whatever others choose to offer you no matter how much it falls short.

    Either you walk your path, or you don't. (You will, no matter what, actually -- but when you walk your path with intention, you find there is no drama.) Right now, you are walking his path and blaming him for it.

    You CHOOSE. You are responsible for you.

    Your homework assignment:
    (1) Decide what you want. Do you want a relationship, really? Or do you want practice before you feel ready to attract and retain what you want?
    (2) Are you ready to attract and retain what you want?
    (3) Does your involvement with this man help you walk your path, or distract you from it?

    Then, based on your self-reflection, decide what this man adds to your life and make your choice.

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