Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 21 to 28 of 28

Thread: 8 years together and 2 kids. How to move on?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    I Can See The Sun!
    Posts
    2,250
    Gender
    Male
    Hi Tovin* ~ I'm so sorry for your ordeal. You will gain a lot of strength and knowledge from this though*

    You're getting a lot of good advice but I just wanted to say: Re: the safe. A good locksmith will probably be able to get that open for you....

    Sending You Strength

    Carus*

  2. #22
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Posts
    15
    Gender
    Female
    Update.

    Started seeing another therapist on my own. Spoke to the lawyer about my options and stuff like that. Found a place that is pretty much perfect for me to move and it's gonna be available within 30 days (people who live there are moving out their stuff and landlord needs a couple of days to fox things up after).

    On the other hand about 2 weeks ago my husband started to act different. Stated to play with the baby, took our older son to the park to play baseball, stayed home to watch a movie with me. Then his mom called asking how are things going with us, then weordly asked if the other girl is in the picture still. Few days later his dad sent me a message asking pretty much same thing, so I started to feel weird about all of this and asked mu husband what is going on, because I feel like something is wrong.

    Soooo he said that for the last couple of weeks he's been looking back at what he's been doing and that he's been going crazy, drinking, acting like an a***hole. He is done with that other girl. I did see messages from him to her saying that he will try to work on things with me, and similar messages to one of his best friends. He is saying that even though his feelings to me are pretty much gone he would want to try to go out and spend some rime together, go to counceling and try to get back the feelings that he had before, because he remembers being happy with me.

    Something that IS kind of bothering me is that somewhere during these xonversations I tols him that I feel like he is not attracted to me, amd he said that its not like that, but also asked if I lost a lot of weight lately (I did lose some, but I never thought that can be a problem... I'm 5'2" and 117 lbs. When we got married I had maybe like extra 5-6 lbs).

    I told him that I only wanna be with someone who wants to be with me because they love me not because its a right thing to do. I am willing to try to fix things but if I'm not what he wants then I don't understand what he wants me to do to fix things. And he said that he wants the same thing and feels the same way. He does not want to live or be with someone if it's fake or nothing like that, if that was what he wanted he would just be alone but he would rather be with someone and have a real relationship that is solid and won't be broken over dumb stuff like this just because we stopped communication and having fun together.

    We've been talking for 3-4 days now. I see that something changed, but now I am just really confused about what to do.

  3. #23
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Posts
    15
    Gender
    Female
    BTW... spoke to my therapist about this and she said that I should give it a try if I want to, because I can leave any time and this possibly can be the only opportunity to fix our marriage. Still not sure what I should do tho

  4. #24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    4,387
    Sounds like he found your thread, and ended things with the other girl, so you would have less envidence on him when it came time to establish alimony, division of assets, child custody. Aholes spots don't change just like that. Him telling you he's not into you is really him trying to play victim. Don't roll over so easily.

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    3,662
    Iím not familiar with your whole story but if you want to work things out. Itís a marriage and you have kids, fight for it.

  7. #26
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Posts
    15
    Gender
    Female
    I don't think he found my threqd, but you are right... I don't think people change for no reason. I do feel like maybe he just had a fallout with his other girl or something like that

  8. #27
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Posts
    15
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Iím not familiar with your whole story but if you want to work things out. Itís a marriage and you have kids, fight for it.
    It' been good and bad. Mostly good I would say, and I feel like I would fight for it, just not sure if it's gonna be one person battle.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    10,514
    Perhaps he saw an attorney and was advised it was "cheaper to keep her".

    That being said, I believe a marriage is important enough to try to save...but only if BOTH parties are sincerely trying to save it for the right reasons.

Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •