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Thread: She needs to think about what she wants

  1. #1
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    She needs to think about what she wants

    Ok. So I posted a while back after we had a fight. Things have been fantastic since. We have made plans for vacations, trips together. I have been introduced to the remaining members of her family and they like me, she was meeting mine this weekend.
    So tonight, we were having fun with her grandson, laughing and joking, had a great dinner. Then the fooling around got a little out of hand and the grandson started crying. He got ketchup in his eye. My girlfriend was really annoyed but we cleaned him up and he was fine.
    She was off with me and just kept saying you should know better. She wouldnít kiss or hug me. I went for a walk to give her a little space. When I got back the grandson was in bed. I said goodnight to him and went upstairs to see her.
    Long story short she was still mad, she said it wasnít the incident and that she had had thoughts that we were too different. She had had these thoughts since we had the fight. This was the first time she had mentioned it. Believe me everything was going great. We text, call and laugh all day. She was so happy earlier in the evening that she had received a text from her son (who I met for the first time yesterday) saying that he really liked me. We had a great New Yearís Day with her family.
    I asked her if she loved me, she said yes. I asked if she was still attracted to me and missed me, she said yes. She said the friends that had witnessed our fight said I wasnít right for her. These arenít her best friends so she said she doesnít really listen to them.
    I asked if she wanted to get over this and she said yes but she needed time to think and reflect on stuff. I said Iíd give her some space so left her alone and went to a hotel (im here now). She said I didnít need to but I said I thought it best as I wanted her to have the space she needs.
    She had been drinking. She had 3 or 4 glasses of Prosecco. I was sober.
    Iím dumbfounded to how things turned so quickly. Honestly we were having a great time, riding a giant stuffed polar bear down the stairs and fooling around. Then boom.
    Any advice or thoughts?

  2. #2
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    I need to add. She is 8 years older than me. She is 53 and I am 45. She did mention that she thought she should let me be with someone younger that I could have children with. I told her I loved her and wanted her not kids. I donít think that is her main issue though.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Mahbe she had too much to drink. Leave her be, stay in the hotel for the night, then see how she is in the morning.

  4. #4
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    OP, your last fight with her was serious and it was recent. While the last couple weeks might have seemed alright, it is going to take some time to get over the mess that happened here: [Register to see the link]

    This latest episode is clear evidence that the fight a couple weeks ago is anything but forgotten. This turnaround thus didn't come out of nowhere, as you say. She's been struggling with that and what happened with her grandson this time is underlining the doubts she has about you. I am sure you meant him no harm and it was an accident this time, but unfortunately, you were on thin ice anyway.

    Step back and let her come to you. You did what you could to make it right, but the ball is in her court now.

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  6. #5
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    Second split in 4.5 months. You are not compatible.

    I think she is still having an issue with your drunken antics a few weeks back.

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    Leave her be, let her think things through and let her come to you.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Is this long distance? Why are you in a hotel?🏡 Although things smoothed over for a while after the drunk dinner party tepee episode, it was over in her mind then (and when she contacted you to get her stuff back) and that decision was confirmed by her friends who witnessed all this at that dinner party. Unfortunately she thinks you are incompatible.
    Originally Posted by Mike1973
    she was still mad, she said it wasnít the incident and that she had had thoughts that we were too different. She had had these thoughts since we had the fight.

    She said the friends that had witnessed our fight said I wasnít right for her.

  9. #8
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    Itís kind of long distance. I donít live near her and I work away a lot. Thatís why I went to a hotel.
    Just to clarify, we havenít split up. Yet. I need some advice on how to talk with her when we meet up, which will probably be tomorrow night. We have a weekend away in Manchester this weekend so the plan was to drive up from her place on Saturday morning.

  10. #9
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    P.S

    Since the initial fight things have been great. She has made the plans for us to go on vacation in September, she has arranged a dinner party to introduce me to her best friends.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    It sounds like it's a fairly new relationship, and instead of what should have started as brief dates that would have happened if you were dating locally, you're spending way too long time-periods together since you are apparently staying with her for several days at a time. That's one of the reasons LDRs are more difficult than local dating.

    The fact that she stated you belong with a younger woman means she's likely done. A woman who is really into you would feel nauseated thinking of you with another woman. With her statement, she's pushing you into leaving her and pursuing someone else. If someone needs space from me like I'm smelly garbage, I make the decision for them. I'd prefer to be with someone who can't imagine their lives without me.

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